Just a Stupid Rant

So I know that we are getting an opportunity of a lifetime. Not too many people get the chance to move to another country and not have to pay for the majority of the moving costs. I know that time over there will be great, and I know how fun it will be to see everything. My rant has to do with certain creature comforts I've gotten use to. I'll just start and you can stop reading now if you want :p I won't be offended. So, you have been warned that I'm about to rant about stupid things. Here it goes...

1. There is no AC in the housing we will be in. I have heard the weather there is pleasant enough that there is no need for one, but I have grown to love the AC. I don't like being hot, and I have a fear about open windows at night. I don't know where this fear came from. When we were first married, we'd sleep with our bedroom window open at night all the time. Now that I think about it though, I can pinpoint when this fear started. It was when my husband left for the Army and it got worse when he deployed.

Our duplex we lived in was great about staying cool. I didn't have to run the air a lot to get it to stay cool. We didn't keep the windows open at all really because it was just so nice in the house with what little AC we ran. Our bills for a month were about 50 dollars for a 1200 sqft duplex. There was one month after he left that our bill was honestly only 20 bucks. I don't know how I pulled it off, but I did.

Anyway, when we moved to Ft Riley, we were in an 8 plex. There were 4 apartments on top and 4 on bottom. We lived on the bottom. There were some shady people living in our building, so I always made sure to keep everything locked up and closed. Since we lived on the bottom, it would be easy for someone to get in the place going through the windows. There wasn't any climbing to do. When I was alone, I feared that something would happen, and I wouldn't be able to defend myself. Thus I started to make sure all windows were closed and locked at all times. With no air from the outside coming in, we had to use the AC. The same fears happened when we were in Oklahoma because of living in a house. Only my fears switched from something happening to me to someone taking my baby. She was on the front of the house, and anyone could just come in and take her. It really scared me.

So, having to open windows bothers me. I am hoping (and for other reasons too) that we are not on the bottom floor. I will be a nervous wreck if we are.

2. Sonic. Yes, you are reading right. I am going to miss Sonic like crazy. There is just something about Sonic ice that rocks my world. It's easy to crunch, and I swear it makes a drink taste better. The day I found out you could buy the ice by the bag was awesome. I was then told by my husband that it was too expensive to buy. I got away with it because I used the pregnancy card (I was pregnant with Genevieve at the time). After I had her, I was told not to buy it anymore because I didn't have pregnancy cravings anymore. The day after I found out I was pregnant with Samuel, I made a trip to our local Sonic.

3. This is the last one I promise. I'm going to miss TV shows. I am addicted to Big Brother. I know I have talked about it in my blog before. I love the show. This season has started, and I'm really getting into it. No big deal about the move because I can watch it online right!? WRONG! I guess after visiting with some other girls who live overseas, you cannot watch shows from the US online from the sites. I guess it is only for viewing in the US, and so the site will not load up the video from the internet overseas. Not only does this knock out Big Brother, but a few other shows that I know I can catch online.

Then there are the shows they don't show online, but they don't show there. I am going to hang my head and admit that I love General Hospital. I first started watching it when my sister and I were little. She watched it, and I just started to. I think we watched it every day that summer. Of course with the school season starting, we went on about our lives. Fast forward many many many years, and I get back into it. With the rising of DVR, I haven't really missed a show for a long time. It's sad to say that I'm not going to be able to watch it. I know that in 3 years the actors may change, the kids will be grown, but the plot will be the same. I can jump back into it in no time. It's just one more thing in life I feel like I have to give up to get something cool.

And that brings me to my whole purpose of the rant. It seems like to get something that is a great experience, I'm going to have to give up so much. It's not only the stupid things like Sonic, TV, and AC, but it is also the big things. I'm going to have to give up being able to see my family whenever I want. I am going to have to give up some of those phone calls with my sister that sometimes go on for hours and make me feel good after we hang up. I'm going to have to give up just picking up the phone whenever I want and calling my friends without thinking about if I am going to wake them up or not. I will miss the kids not seeing either set of grandparents as much as they do now.

I guess what I might be trying to say is simply this. I am getting scared about the changes coming up in my life. I know I will be a better woman, wife, mom, daughter, etc because of what I learn. I have always said that God has put us where we need to be when we need to be there. I believe that with my whole heart. Even with my belief in that statement, it doesn't alway make it easy to go. Being that I'm going to Europe, I will quote a song from one of my favorite shows...The Sound of Music. There is a song at the first when she is getting ready to leave for the home in which she is to be a nanny essentially. She says that the Lord never closes a door without opening a window. Then in the song she goes on to sing something like (please know it might not totally be right because I am typing late, and I'm not looking it up), "What will this day be like? I wonder. What will my future bring? I wonder. I've always longed for adventure, to do the things I never did. Now I'm facing an adventure, then why am I so scared?" I think that sums up me tonight. I am one that loves to do new things, but I am just scared. I don't know why, I just am. I guess that really just comes with anything in life, and any change.

People ask me all the time if I'm excited. I keep telling everyone yes. I am excited, but I am also scared about how my life will change. Life changes all the time though, so it is time to embrace the change and face our new adventure. Does that mean I can't be scared? I hope not because I will be scared for awhile I'm sure. It will be good to have my husband home though to help with moral support.

Anyway, If you made it this far...I commend you for hanging in there. Thanks for listening/reading :) I have typed myself tired, and I think I'm going to try and go to bed. I am trying out something new for Samuel, and I will let you know what it is, and if it worked another night.