Tuesday, August 12, 2008

So Hard

Tonight is the night. I made up my mind that tonight was the night that Samuel was going to have to go to bed, and if he woke up, he'd have to cry it out. I made a mattress for his Pack n Play last night. I just took a few blankets and folded them up real thick. To keep them down, I put a crib sheet over them and pulled it tight. That way it isn't so thin. If you have seen a Pack n Play, you know how thin those mats are. I sure as heck wouldn't want to sleep on one of those. So I did that, and I put him in there last night after he was good and asleep. I'd say he slept in there about 1/4 to 1/2 the night.

So tonight I decided it is time. He needs to start going to bed. Well it has now been about an hour since he woke up, and he is still crying off and on. I have been in several times (please don't think I'm just leaving him in there and not checking), and still no luck. It seems like when i do go in, it makes it worse. I am trying to space it out longer so he doesn't get worked up again. This breaks my heart. I cried the first couple of nights when I did this with Genevieve, and I am doing the same tonight. I just hate hearing that. Funny thing is, now I can hear Genevieve throw a fit at night, and it really doesn't bother me anymore. I leave her be, and I will go up after awhile, but usually she just does it for a few seconds and is done.

I know in the long run, this will be better for us all. I don't really want him to be sleeping in bed with me much longer. My husband is coming home from training in a week, and I'd like to have alone time with him. I also think that it is better for Samuel if he starts to sleep in his own bed. I realize it might be a hard habit to break since it has been so long, but I guess it is time to bite the bullet. Why is it so hard to listen to your children cry?

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