Not So Late Night Ramble

I realize it is only 10 pm, and to some that is late and some it is not. For me, it really isn't that late. I'm usually up until 12 or so. I should go to bed earlier because the mornings come early. However, I enjoy the peace that I get when both kids are finally asleep, and I can watch my DVR shows for the day in peace.

I have blogged about having issues with sleeping in the past. There have been a few nights in the past week where I have had issues falling asleep again. However, most nights have just been like it's been recently. When I head to bed, I'm so tired I just fall asleep without issues. Sure I play a couple of rounds of some game on my DS, but that is because I'm use to watching TV in bed to fall asleep. Since there is no TV in my room, I play DS.

Last night was not so easy to fall asleep. It wasn't because I wasn't tired by any means. Yesterday afternoon I was on the phone with my husband when I went into the bedroom to look for something. I looked down, and I saw a HUGE (really only about the size of a half dollar legs and all) spider on a piece of clothing. I shrilled and dropped the phone. I grabbed a shoe and proceeded to beat it with the shoe. When I got back on the phone with my husband, he was laughing hysterically. I then explained to him that this thing was mean. It was a fighter spider, and it would come after me if I didn't get it. The thing was missing a few legs. It looked so nasty. Anyway, I couldn't stand to pick it up because I was shaking so bad.

Later in the night I was going to take my Dad back to get the spider for me. When I got back there, it was GONE! The dead spider (or maybe not so dead) was gone. Now I realize that many things could have happened to this thing. It could have been eaten by another spider, eaten by my dog, etc. It just creeps me out. Needless to say my imagination starting running crazy, and I thought that this fighting spider with missing legs was coming after me for trying to kill it. I shook down all my blankets on the bed, moved all the pillows, shook out anything that touched me, and all that kind of crazy stuff. Call me crazy, but I didn't want that thing getting me while I was asleep. I honestly thought that I felt something on me a few times in the night. I woke and looked each time. Nothing that I saw.

Today hasn't been much better. I still keep looking, and I am keeping an eye out for this thing. If you find a big spider with missing legs, keep him. I don't want it back.

The List Just Keeps Getting Shorter

Another thing that stood between us and getting to Germany has been taken care of. We got our plane tickets today. Everything with out flight is taken care of now. The only thing left with them to do is to call the airline and get kid friendly meals ordered for the kids. We didn't arrange the tickets in time to get side seats, so they put us in the middle section. It's not too bad because there is only one more seat in the isle than there are of us. So, I hope that seat doesn't get filled. If it doesn't, we should have the whole middle section. If it does, that poor person :p I am also excited about the flight because it is a non-stop flight. That will make life a bit easier because we won't have to rush off to another flight, but that means that we don't get to get out and stretch a little. Maybe that is a good thing too. We did a 2.5 hour flight with no issues. Anyone want to help me out on how to get through an almost 10 hour flight with the kids? :)

Under Construction

If you come to my blog on a regular basis, you have realized that it is going through some changes. In keeping with the spirit of the summer road construction, I have put my blog under construction too. My cousin is amazing at making blogs look awesome. She has done several now, and she has done a great job. She offered to do something with mine, and I took her up on it :) So, keep checking back and see how it evolves. THANK YOU MANDI FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL WORK!

7 months

On Sunday Samuel turned 7 months. I can't believe it's already been that long. He's come a long way in those moths. He's already up to over 20 lbs (everyone teases that he hasn't missed a meal and my milk is just too fat). I know people who have 12 and 18 month olds who aren't even 20 lbs. I guess we just grow them big.

He has also started scooting. He's all over the place. He doesn't really crawl, more like frog hops. He doesn't know how to use his hands and move the forward. He is defiantly on the move though. He has also recently decided that the Roomba looks like fun and likes to play with it. Other fun things on his list are pool sticks, rubber ducks, a water bottle, and a fish chew toy. The day of my sweet baby boy being still are over.

Samuel is also enjoying solids now. Some days he just really doesn't like the taste. The other day he looked like I had fed him some horrible thing. He'd shutter and get a bad look on his face. I tried fruit, veggie, and a meal. All the same look. I think he just wanted something else that day.

Right now the big thing for him is teeth. He's cutting 6 teeth at the moment. Not fun. He's not doing too bad with it all. I'd want to die if I were cutting that many teeth. Night is the worst, but we make it.

Where does the time go? Soon I'll be talking about his first birthday and all that fun stuff. My little baby is starting to grow up, and he's growing too fast. I love you very much lil man. You are a wonderful blessing in my life, and I thank God for you every day...even on those nights you keep me up all night :)

Wow! Lots of Things to Tell...

So I realize with everything going on, I've been bad about keeping up with my blog. I have also been trying to get things worked out on our move. I'm so ready for this thing to be done with. I just want it to end one way or another. It is just never ending, and living with that has been hard. I didn't know I could miss my stuff so much. I miss my sofa, my bed, and all my clothes. Funny how you miss things like that when you don't have them around.

I have been on the phone this morning trying to figure out what I need to do to get the van shipped over to Germany. That's going to be fun. I have to cut down a forest just to get the the number of copies of orders they want. I don't know what they need 7 copies for. I guess they loose some or something. I now have a list of things to do/get for the van, and I found out I don't need an appointment. So I guess that's a CHECK off the list.

I also called my bank this morning. I need a note saying it is okay to take the van overseas since there is a loan on it. It's not good after 30 days, so I have to call back. I enjoy calling and leaving things to the last second. :p While on the phone with them, I talked with my car insurance. Why is it so expensive to insure a car over there? It costs like 30 dollars more to insure just our van over there. Good thing we aren't taking another car.

My husband is going to try and get our airline tickets today at lunch time. I will be glad to get that done. I think maybe that will make it feel more official. We will see when he calls what happened and what all we have to do for that. I hope the seating is okay.

All in all the move is moving along. It's almost time for it to be over. Then I'm sure I'll be blogging about other things that are dragging on like getting our stuff. :p

Update on my Father-in-law

So here is a little update. Things have been crazy the last couple of days, and I haven't been able to get this out there. My Father-in-law is doing good. He went into surgery and came out just fine. He said other than being a little groggy from the meds, he felt good. I think my mother-in-law is having a harder time than he is.

Anyway, he was sent home last night. For 2 weeks he cannot really do anything. They did release him to drive, but he is not allowed to do anything that puts strain on him. He was told he could go on walks, but he would need someone there. He decided he shouldn't walk outside anyway due to the heat here right now.

The doctors seem to think that this less evasive surgery should hold. He might still have to have the bipass later, but they seem to think if he changes his diet and everything, this should do fine. He meets with his other surgeon in about 2 weeks to see about setting up his surgery to have his spleen removed. He is wanting to do it about a week after the 4 week mark. That way my mother-in-law will be retired, and my husband will be home from school so he could be there too.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for him. Continued prayers are needed because he is not out of the woods yet. This is a good start though.

We Are in Need

I have been so busy with everything going on, I just haven't had time to blog anything. My father-in-law has been having issues with his spleen and his blood count. They realized he has an overactive spleen. It eats up the good stuff too. Anyway, his doctors advised him on removing the spleen or chemotherapy to fix the problem. If he went with the chemo, there was a good chance that he could still have to have his spleen removed.

We knew he had some heart damage due to another surgery from when he broke his neck. They wanted to do a heart cath to make sure he was fine in his spleen removal. When they got in there, they realized he had some major blockage. Yesterday they were talking about a bipass next week. As of today, they want to do another procedure that is less evasive. I think it is because with this surgery, he will be ready for the spleen surgery in about 4 weeks. If he were to have the bipass, it would be at least 5 to 6 months.

He goes into surgery in the morning. If you are the praying type, would you please pray for him and my mother-in-law. I have been on the phone with her a lot the last couple of days. I tease her that she is going to block my number because I bug her so much. I just want to make sure she is okay. They need all the prayers they can get.

How'd She Do That?

Today was a somewhat busy day. I woke up via a cell phone call. When I looked at the Caller ID, it was my Mom's work cell. I picked it up, and it was my Mom and Genevieve telling me to wake up. They were calling because of the big fuss I made about wanting them to wake me up for pancakes. My Mom and Genvieve have started to get up on Saturdays and eat pancakes. It is a big help because it gives me a chance to sleep in one day of the week. I usually don't care a whole lot, but today I knew we were going to be out shopping, so I wanted to eat before we went.

The day went good. We got all our shopping done (it wasn't really fun shopping...more like groceries and such), and we headed home. When we got home, I told Genevieve we needed to change her pull up. I took it off, wiped her off, and I told her I needed to go get another pull up. I then told her when I got back, I wanted her to sit on the potty. When I got back to that part of the house, she wasn't in the room. I started looking for her, and I found her up on the big potty grinning from ear to ear. She then said, "All Done!" She got off the potty from there and we finished everything.

I asked her after that how did she get up on the potty. She would always just look at me and grin. It was like she knew I really wanted to know and by not telling me, it'd drive me crazy. Sometimes when I'd ask her, she'd laugh at me. I could not figure it out.

At bed time I got her ready, and I asked her to go get on the potty. Sure enough she did! I got to see how she did it this time. It was quite a production. She used the wall to help get her up and then she'd use her hands to keep her propped up on the potty. It is a lot funnier to see than to read about. Anyway, I am happy to say I now know how she did it. I wonder if her new "talent" will make her want to use the potty more. Time will tell.

Is It Just Catching Up?

I have been wondering for the last week about my sleep issues. I guess right now it isn't an issue. It is just bothersome because it is so out of the ordinary. A little more explaining...

About six or seven years ago I started to have major sleep issues. I have been a night owl for as long as I can remember. I remember some really late nights with my cousin in the summer time. I even recall waking up with a smilie face on my nose that was put there with a Sharpie. I remember another night with her many years before staying up all night and watching movies on TV. If she is reading, I'm sure she remembers some of these things.

Anyway, about six or seven years ago I really started to notice a difference in my normal night owl behavior to having issues sleeping. I think it mainly started when I started working nights. It was hard to sleep when I'd get home, and then I couldn't seem to wake up. When I moved shifts back to days, I was a mess. I had to take an occasional sleep aid to help with getting to sleep. When I quit my job, I stopped taking them. This made life heck. I was up until 4 am or so, and then I'd sleep really late. It didn't do well for life.

When my husband deployed I just kept up with the night owl routine. I started wanting to be around people, and my sleep issues didn't work for that. It was really frustrating. Anyway, it has been the same story different day for years. I think you get the point.

So, as of May I have actually been tired. I usually go to bed at a decent hour, sleep hard, and I haven't needed any sleep aids to help at all. It has now raised a red flag, and it makes me wonder if something is wrong with me. My Dad tells me to enjoy it while it lasts. :)

I Just Love

I have to say that I totally love it when the kids both knock out when we are in the car. This picture was taken a few weeks ago when we were on our way to Kansas City for a baby shower. You can see that Genevieve was fast asleep in her "Big Girl Chair." She had been watching Blue's Clues for about 20 mins, and she knocked out.

When I looked back and realized she was out, I turned off the movie, and I changed it to my CDs. Not the kid CDs, MY CDs. I spent some time listening to a Christian group called The Darians. I heard them several years ago at some women's Christian convention. Their songs really speak to me. It's not really a big secret that there are things in my past that are not my finest. I have done a lot of things, and I don't even know what I was thinking. At one point in time I decided that even with the bad, I was/still could be a good person. I feel that God can use them for good, and I live like that can and does happen. My prayer in life is that someone can see God in me.

One of their songs, "Somebody Like Me," has really spoken to me on many occasions. Forgive the long set of lyrics I'm about to post, but I couldn't just pick one section.

Somebody Like Me

I sure hope that you remember me
It's been such a long time since we've talked
So many things I need to tell you
There's a lot to catch up on

We used to be so much closer
But it seems that I have drifted away
Now this road has brought me home to You
I just need to hear You say

Chorus
That You can still love somebody like me
That Your grace reaches farther than I can see
From where I am to where You are seems like an eternity
Can You still forgive somebody like me
Can You forget the way that I used to be
Lord, I'm down on my knees praying
That You could still love, love somebody like me

For so long I did things my own way
I sure made my share of mistakes
So many wounds that need to start healing
It's so much more than I can take

I know that I used to seem to have all the answers
Then how'd I ever get so lost
Now this road that's paved with my regrets
Is leading back to the cross

Chorus 2:
'Cause You can still love somebody like me
And Your grace reaches father than I can see
From where I am to where You are seems like an eternity
Can You still forgive somebody like me
Can You forget the way that I used to be
Lord, I'm down on my knees praying
That You could still love, love somebody like me

Now this road that's paved with my regrets
Is leading back to the cross

Repeat Chorus 2

The reason this song means so much to me is that it reminds me that no matter what has happened, God loves me. It doesn't matter what I did in the past. The song talks about how God's grace is so abundant that we can't even know how big it is. Because of this, he still loves us, and will forgive us. I think the part that gets me the most every time is the part of the song that talks about the road they are on. In the first part it says, "Now this road has brought me home to you." In the next part it says, "Now this road that's paved with my regrets."

How true is this? I mean really this song hits so close to home. It brings me to tears just about every time I hear it. It's a song that speaks to my heart and soul. I think the part that makes me cry is that there is still hope for me. I feel like I'm more on the right track these days. I still feel bad for the things in my past. I have a road paved with regrets. What the end of that line says is, "Now this road that's paved with my regrets is leading me back to the cross." I guess it means that even with regrets, we are always welcome back. That's what I love about God so much.

Another song they sing is "He Carries Those Who Carry the Cross." Now I won't share all the lyrics of this song (we all know this is getting long). This is the part here that really goes with what I'm talking about.

I've been blessed enough to witness grace
From both sides of the pain
And if I had to do it all again
There's nothing I would change
And so if I don't seem too troubled
When the clouds are closing in
It's because no storm can reach me
That hasn't come through Him

When I heard this song and started to sing along with it in the car, this part stuck out to me. I really started to reflect on these words. Is there really nothing I'd change in my life? There are things I wish wouldn't have happened, but I don't think I'd be the person I am without them. For that reason, no, I wouldn't change a thing. Isn't it funny that the things in life that maybe aren't our best moments are the ones that make us who we are today. It's those moments that change our life, shake us up, and then change our life forever. There are many instances in my life I can think of that I wouldn't wish on anyone. However, those are the things that make me the person I am. I know I'm not the best person ever, but I feel that I'm a darned good person. If these things in my life never happened, I wouldn't be who I am today.

I have a hard time with that saying that God doesn't put anything on you that you can't handle. If he doesn't, then boy does he come close at times. I instead think of the things in my life as pieces to a quilt. I don't want one event in my life to define who I am. I am a person made up of many pieces and experiences. I picture my life experiences as quilt squares. They are there, but not one is bigger than the other. The quilt would be incomplete without any of the squares no matter what the square is.

Anyway, I have gone on too long. I hope you aren't too bored if you even made it this far. It must have just been one of those nights I'm long winded.

Two More Things Off the List

So today I can officially cross two more things off my list. I have a mental list of things to do before the move. I need to sit down (which I was telling my husband we need to do tonight) and write it all down. I don't want to come into the last couple of days in the US and realize something needed to be done a long time ago.

Anyway, today I got to cross two things off my list. I was told by my husband who was told by someone in another office that we needed to re-do our EFMP screenings. For those who know nothing of the military, these are medical screenings. If you are going to a remote location you have to be screened to make sure they can handle your needs while there. Samuel of course checked out okay, and I did as well. Genevieve has some issues because of her bladder reflux. There are not a lot of pediatric urologist out there. So because she was needing care for her issues, she was enrolled in the program. It caused a lot of headaches, but we were finally cleared for travel. To make a somewhat long story short, I called over today to see about getting in and what we needed to get the screening done again. I was so happy when the man in charge told me I would not need to deal with this. We had got the wrong information or misunderstood what they were saying. So EFMP screenings (CHECK).

The other thing I got done today was to apply for our regular passports. I got to the post office in time after waiting all morning for the guy to show up to fix my windshield. A big truck pulled out in front of me, and he knocked a rock up on my windshield. It cracked it, and I was about to replace it. I guess my car insurance has a deal with a company that they will fix the windshield for free. So I got set up, and today was the day. It looks great now. You can't even really tell that it was cracked.

Back to the point...We got our passports taken care of. I had everything filled out before we went, and I had all the paperwork done and in line for them. I think I learned real quick after having kids, the more you can do before you go any place, the better life is. It's much easier to do a little at a time while they are sleeping than it is to try and do it on the spot. Needless to say things went quick, and we will soon (fingers crossed) have our regular ones here. So, apply for regular passports (CHECK).

A Few Pics From Today

I just wanted to share a few pictures from today. Genevieve LOVED the fireworks, and everyone had a good time today.

July 4th

First off, Happy 4th of July! This is a fun holiday, and it is always great to have an excuse to grill, eat outside, and see fireworks. I have been with my husband (dating and married) for about 8 years now. I remember just about every 4th of July since that time. Why? I don't know, but it seems to be a holiday that sticks out in our relationship. It might very well be for the fact that we hardly ever spend them together.

I remember our first 4th together I watched the fireworks on my way to work. He had just left for Europe, and he was away. I didn't do any of the grilling or anything like that. It was just me on the way to work, and I was watching the fireworks ahead of me. The next two years went the same...only he wasn't in Europe. I was usually working.

The last year we were in Wichita, I worked day shift instead of my normal evening or night shift. I spent the day at work, and I made it home in time to do a few things. I went to a party hosted by our landlords who were family friends. We grilled out at their house and had lots of sides. Later that night we all walked down to the river and sat down on the blankets there. My husband of course wasn't with me because he was the one working in the evening. It was really nice though, and I had a good time.

The year after life was very different for both of us. I was alone again, but he was not with me because he was in Iraq. That year made things different for me on the 4th. Suddenly the 4th wasn't about grilling and fireworks. The 4th was more about what happened back when our country because its own nation. There were men in those days who were doing what my husband had been doing that very night. Somehow I felt more connected to the holiday.

We did spend the 4th together every year (a whole 3) that he was doing recruiting. The first year he had to hold the flag in a presentation. The whole night people would thank him for what he was doing and had done. It amazes me how humble he is. He always responds with a simple, "You are welcome, but I haven't done anything really."

To me someone who serves in any capacity has done more than I have. There are so many of us who haven't or can't join the service. Those who do it of their own free will and put their life on the line do something that should be appreciated and commended. When someone gives up their time, being with their family, and even their life, that is something to thank someone for. So, Thank You to all those families with someone serving or who has served our great country.

So today, I want to say...HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!

Well...It's Official!!

Today I got the call from Ft Riley that our Passports made it in. It has only been 2 weeks. I know someone who got their passports there, and they said they had got a call. However, I am usually very unlucky, so I wasn't expecting mine yet. I was hoping for the very best, and I hoped I'd get a call. When yesterday came and went without a phone call, I figured I was out of luck for the week. It's a holiday weekend, and I figured that everything was closed down. You can imagine the surprise when I got the call at 1 this afternoon that our passports had arrived, and I could pick them up any time I wanted to.

After they called, I hurried up and got a shower and headed over that way to get them. The trip over was nice because I only had Samuel. It was around nap time, and the short time from the house to the interstate knocked him out. He isn't into any music yet, so he sleeps just fine to anything I might have on. I don't have to listen to those fun kid CDs that Genevieve just thinks she has to have. I love it when I can listen to "big kid" music.

I now can rest easy knowing that I have all our passports (the one's with the visa in them anyway...that's the important one) in hand. I no longer have to worry about them not arriving in time to travel with my husband over. They are here and after our quick (knock on wood) EFMP screening hopefully next week, we will be cleared for all travel and ready to go. I just pray that everything goes quick and smooth so we are good to go. I told my husband tonight that if everything were done I could rest a lot easier.

I still have a bit to do to get ready for that to be the case. I thought moves were complicated and stressful...I was wrong. I am not going to complain a whole lot because the outcome of all this stress will be a wonderful experience and something that will be a wonderful memory for us. I know that once we get there, and we get our stuff, the stress will melt away and the fun of being overseas will hit. I have started to let myself get a bit excited. I haven't for awhile now because I always felt if I did, it would go away. If I started to think about everything we would be able to do, and what this move had in store for us, plans would change. It has happened before ... more than once.

Well, I'm going to stop thinking about that now. I am excited, and I don't want to psych myself out. Everyone please just keep your fingers crossed that our regular passports will make it in a timely manner as well. They aren't as important (we can get in and out of Germany with these), but it would be nice to have it all taken care of before we leave. Who would have ever thought my 2 year old and my 6 month old would have passports.