Red Van or Blue Van?

Have you ever wondered if you made the right choice? I'm sure most of us have at some time or another. It can be something as small as what you ordered for dinner or something bigger like did I pick the right car. I think at some point in all our lives we are faced with the question am I or did I do the right thing. I'm having one of those moments. I can't and won't go into much detail (I know, what's the point in blogging then). The matter at hand is not important. It is the lessons or insight you gain. You wonder if you should have picked the blue van instead of the red. You wonder if what you decided to do is worth being on that path. I was visiting with my sister today on the phone, and she was sharing about some things she is going through. As I gave her the most awesome big sister advice I could, I realized I needed to take my own advice. Funny how that works. I kept telling her that everything would happen in the right time, and even though we don't always like it, we just have to rest assured that what needs to happen will. I do believe that you have to make certain things happen. I know you can't just sit back and everything will happen. There is work involved. However, I believe that we are put in certain situations for reasons. I haven't always had a simple, easy life. I have had my fair share of shear crap that has entered my life. However, I honestly believe that through all good can be made. Anyway, as I'm taking a mental note of the year to come, I realize I'm in for one heck of a year and next year as well. It is going to be hard. I am dreading the year to come. I'm in a place I really wanted to be, but I'm not enjoying it like I thought. I'm still keeping an open mind, but it's hard. I fear the trials will be great, and I'm not sure I'm ready. I know all the things that are said like, "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I hate that phrase. Also one of my favorites my hubby uses is, "pain is weakness leaving the body." We have the army to thank for that one. I look back at my entire life, and while I know there were places and situations I didn't like or understand, there was some reason that I was there or something good actually came from it. Even horrible things that have happened have somehow been used for a greater good. It is with that in mind that I give up this whole year (and next) to just be open. I'm not sure what the purpose of everything is, but I pray one day I know that my time here and over the next couple of years was a blessing or worth something.