Do you ever have those days that you just don't feel like doing anything? I have them a lot. I don't know if it is because I have not got a full nights sleep in about 3 years, getting up early with the kids all the time, or just because I hate cleaning just about everything. If you read my blog at all, one thing you will know is that I can't stand laundry and dishes. They are NEVER done. It doesn't matter how much I work in a day, we are always using dishes to eat, drink, and cook with, and we all can't go naked for days at a time so there is no laundry to do. Wouldn't it be nice though?!
I have done a good share of housework today and over the past week. I have pretty much kept up with things since getting home from our trip to the states. However, as I type this I can't help but think how inadequate my work seems to be. I don't do all I could and can do. I just can't bring myself to clean all dang day. I can't.
I don't know if this friend reads my blog or not, but if you do, this is totally a compliment. I have a friend here who is super cleaner. She mops, sweeps, cleans, etc every day. She tells me that she has to run at least 3 loads of dishes a day, and she is always picking up everything all day long. She cooks from scratch most of the time, and she puts me to shame in both areas. I just can't be like that though.
Sometimes I find myself making things look better so it looks like I have done a lot. It usually doesn't fly all the time. However, on some days it does. I have learned that if I make the bed, it makes the bedroom look a lot better. I also have found that if I do the dishes and clean the sink and counters really good, the kitchen seems to look much better too. I tend to use my Roomba a lot. It is easy because I just push the button and it does the vacuuming for me. I would be in trouble without my Roomba. I also enlisted the help of my microfiber mop. You just put water on the pad and go. I don't have to get a big bucket and water ready. It also drys really quickly so I'm not having to worry about the kids going through the wet floors.
So there you have it. I am a lazy mom. I hate housework, I love nap time, and I can't wait for my one hour of peace when my husband comes home. I started to work out for an hour a day just to get some time alone. I don't like working out, but that hour is awesome. I will work out to get my hour. Sometimes I wonder if this makes me a bad mom. I wonder if I should love being with my kids all the time and taking care of everyone's needs. I couldn't imagine having a job outside the home. I love the flexibility of being here with the kids. I love having the mom and kid's groups I can attend. I love all these things. Some days I just long to go back to work just to get some time away.
I know most of this is because of recent events. My wonderful, calm son has turned into a yelling chimp. There are times he will just start to screem and cry for nothing. We are at that time too where he isn't talking so he gets frustrated with me (and I with him). He has started to pinch me and everyone else when he doen't know how to get what he wants/needs across. It has brought me to tears many times. I just don't understand his needs, and I can't fix it. Isn't that something that most moms have trouble dealing with? I sure hope so because it sure bothers me when I can't fix or give my child what they need. We have a screening tomorrow with a specialist tomorrow who is going to evaulate him for speech delay. He really isn't saying much, and I worry that he is delayed. It is a nice program that does everything in home. If he were to qualify for speech thearpy, they will come to our home and do it.
I don't know if this was confusing since I'm pretty much rambling. I have just been feeling bad about my mom skills recently. I feel like I'm not good enough, and I can't give my children what they need in the day. It's been a rollercoaster of feelings, and I hate that I feel this way. I guess I just needed to get it out, and I hope this makes me feel a bit better about things.
2 comments:
First of all, please keep us updated on the little guy. Praying for you here...
Secondly, I don't think you're a lazy mom. You're a regular mom with little ones underfoot. It's so much better if you can find those tools to make your day-to-day so much easier, and that's an advantage, not something to feel guilty about. Your friend who does housework all the time is not the norm -- it's awesome, but it's unusual.
Perhaps develop a schedule that could help you. Flylady.net could help you get started or Sidetracked Home Executives. Seriously, though, you could develop a schedule on your own. Another friend of mine always cleans on Thursdays. She picks up lightly through the week and runs her laundry every couple of days, but she only deep cleans on Thursdays. You could also pick a laundry day where it all gets done on Tuesdays or whatever.
Hang in there. You're perfectly normal.
An old neighbor gave me words of advice. People's lives are like roses. They are different shapes, colors, and some have a strong wonderful smells and others do not. But they all have thorns of some kind, some are quite obvious while others are not.
We each try to be the best mom, wife, and sibling we can… While handling our own personal struggles…..I know I’m not perfect…Far from it… I just keep these words of her advice near and dear.. And last but not least…. Handle every stressful situation like a dog. Piss on it and walk away.
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