Right Place, Right Time

If you have been reading my lack of blogging for very long, you know that I feel that I usually end up where I need to be when I need to be there. We have always felt blessed with our duty stations (even if the job wasn't the best) for one reason or another. Even when being there deals us a blow or two, we have always trusted that God knows what he is doing, and we can handle it with his help.

I didn't come across this attitude on my own. My parents always felt this way when I was younger. My Dad decided to go back to school in the early 90s. He felt like he was being called into the ministry. So we moved from our home in Kansas, and moved to Texas. After that, my parents always said they trusted that God would put them in the right place. It really did work out to be that way. We were always in the right place for the time we were there. So by first hand experience, I too believe the same thing.

Needless to say, today was one of those days. It wasn't a move, but it was simply being put into a place to hear a few things I needed to hear. That's right, I went to church :p Church has been a touchy subject for us here. We usually find a church home wherever we are. However, since we have moved here, we have not. We have tried a couple, and they were just not a good fit for us. It's not like we can just go to any church due to the language issues. The churches we have tried so far have not been for us. That's pretty much the long and short of it.

Today we finally made the leap to try out the last church on our list. I am not sure why today was the day. I mean we have been here for almost a year and a half. Why today? Well I will tell you. Because God had a message I needed to hear today. I thought it was funny that when I showed up and looked at the hymns we were singing that my Grams' favorite song was on the list. It makes my heart happy when I hear her song. So I was already in a good mood and ready to listen a little more than before I showed up.

The message was one I'm very familiar with. I'm sure you are too. It was on the story of the Prodigal Son. I have heard this story so many times. I can tell you what the story is, and I can break it down for you too. However, today it was broken down in a way I haven't thought about before. The pastor really wanted us to look at the story from the point of view of the 3 main characters. Then he asked us to think how we could identify with them. I think it is easy to identify with the youngest son. I have been in places in my life where I have done things I'm not real proud of. I have been a person that I don't like. I have sinned and lived a life how I wanted even though it wasn't pleasing to God. I felt what it was like to hit the bottom. I felt what it was like to have to come back to the Father and ask him to forgive me. I felt the joy when I realized that no matter what I had done, God loved me anyway.

The part that really took me by surprise is when he asked us to look at and identify with the oldest son. Now I hadn't really thought about the oldest son much before now. I really didn't give him much thought. The pastor told us to think about if there was a time in our life where we had everything together on the outside. We have done everything we were asked of and done everything that we should. We have stood by our father and helped him no matter what the cost. Then all of a sudden your younger brother comes home, and all you have is resentment and anger inside you. Here you have done everything, and your brother shamed your family. He comes home, and now he gets a party. How do you deal with that?

Well I will tell you that I haven't been dealing with that well. I have carried some resentment in my life for a long time. There has been an ongoing situation in my life that I just could not let go. I would get angry just by the slightest mention of the situation. Now I see the story from a whole new light. I can really relate with this older brother. I know exactly how he felt. I tell you what...It sucks!

Then the pastor went on to say that we can change those feelings with remembering the grace we get. The father in the story told the oldest All that I have is yours. His work and loyalty were not taken away from him. His father was just happy to have his son back the same way God was happy to have me back even after all I had done.

So I have learned today that I need to let go of the resentment in my life. I need to remember that I once was the youngest son (and sometimes I still can be). I need to remember that while being in the shoes of the older brother too, that I am really thankful to have a Father who loves me unconditionally.

Thank you God for such amazing moments in my life!

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Recently I have been thinking about the possibility of more kids. I won't ever tell you that I don't love little babies. I absolutely do. Little babies are my weakness. I love the cuddly little babies that just cuddle up to you. It's an amazing thing. My husband made the mistake of saying to me, "You know, if we had a little more money I'd love to have another baby. I miss having a little one around." *insert big eyes here* What?! I was always 100% sure he was done.

However, just like at the beginning, we are split on this. Before we decided to have Genevieve we'd switch off on who had baby fever. First he would and I couldn't even think about it. Then I'd wear down and really love the idea, he wouldn't want kids. It took us almost 4 years of marriage to be on the same page. We always knew Samuel would come quickly after, but never really planned on any more. I always liked the idea of more kids, but just like at the start, I have not worn down, and I feel like our family is complete.

A couple of days ago, we were able to eat lunch alone. I told him I was really surprised that he was feeling like he wanted to add to our little family of four. He said he had just thought about it from time to time. I explained to him that right now I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can almost reach out and feel the warmth. I'm right there. It seems like the last step is to get Samuel potty trained. It would seem like then that the baby days would be over. I then told my husband that I wasn't so happy to jump back to the end of the tunnel and start over with the up all night, solids, sippy cups, etc.

I guess I could be talked into it eventually if he were serious. I do love those little ones so much to over look all that junk that goes with them. However, I'm looking so much to the future. I am ready for the next stage of our lives. I'm ready to move on with having young children at home and not babies. I'm ready for the days when we can travel without pack n plays, diaper bags, strollers, etc. I am ready to go have fun with my kids and do things that are harder to do with babies. I find this very selfish, and I'm not sure if I even care. I'm ready to move on to a new phase of life, and I'm looking forward to it.

So I will resort to holding other people's babies, and see where that gets me. Maybe I need to have a few over for my husband to hold too.

Having a Baby on a Plane

If we were playing Jeopardy the question would be, "What are two things that stink by themselves and would really blow together?" I came to this conclusion my last trip back and forth.

So on our most recent trip to the US, I realized that the long process of flying international with children (for me alone usually) was closely related to labor. I know what you are thinking. You wonder how two things that are totally different can be related in my head. Well it's your lucky day because I'm going to tell you :)

When I was in labor with Genevieve it was long (16 hours), hard, hurt, etc. Any woman who's been in labor knows what I'm talking about. It takes everything you have to get through it. It is so uncomfortable. I was in so much pain with Genevieve, I couldn't really sleep. My epidural wore off in the middle of labor, and I was dealing with the monster contractions I was having. However, when all was said and done, I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms and couldn't be happier.

When I had Samuel things seemed much easier. I wonder if it was due to knowing what was coming. I was only in labor about 8 hours, and a couple of those were spent just waiting for the doctor to get done with surgery so she could be there. They knew from the time before that once I started to push, it really didn't take long. So she wanted to be ready to go before I started to push. After my water broke, I had horrible back labor. It was one of the worst pains I have felt. However, once the epidural was in, I was fine. I got a few hours of sleep even. Like the first time, by the time it was over, I had a wonderful baby boy in my arms, and it was all worth it.

So how does this relate to my international flights? Well just like this. I realized this trip home that the trips home (on the planes) is like labor. It is hard, no sleep, it down right hurts at times. The trip is long. The trip is hard. The kids don't always sit well for that long, and who would. However at the end of the long day in airplanes, it is worth it. We are either to the US and can't wait to see family and friends, or we are home and ready to get back to our lives.

I'm hoping that as the kids get older the trips don't remind me of labor so much. I am guessing that will be the case. As I tell everyone, my saving grace is that Genevieve loves to fly, listens well, and really doesn't need a lot of one on one time on the plane. The fact that she gets her own TV, cool food that they bring her, and a seat to herself keeps her pretty much happy. For that I am very thankful.

We did make it home from our trip back. It was a long day, and I'm pretty much set on being in Germany for a few more months. I am NOT ready to get back on a plane anytime soon. :) We had a great visit with family and friends. It was nice to see old friends while I was home. I never really realized how much it stinks when you only get to see them once a year and sometimes less than that. All I have to say is thank goodness for the internet :)

For those that sent prayers and thoughts and vibes my way while I was traveling, THANK YOU. I could feel them on my trip. For the most part Samuel did as well as any 2 year old really could. He had his moments, but nothing like it could have been. I keep hoping that things will continue to get better with him and soon it won't be something I dread so much. Maybe it saves money this way because I'm never in a hurry to make that trip :)

I really wonder if I'm the only parent that feels this way? I don't know a lot of people who travel internationally. Some that I do know have given me great advice. However, I wonder if everyone else dreads flights as much as I do. I wonder sometimes if I am being a baby about it. People ask me all the time how and why I do it. It really is simple. I refuse to be held back. I want my kids to feel comfortable, and I want to be able to travel with the kids. I want to be able to do this no matter where I am. I don't ever want to feel like I'm stuck some place. It really is just that simple.

I also need to take a moment (even though I have no clue who he is, and I know he will never read this) to thank a nice man who helped me more than he knows. When we got to Germany, a couple of people helped me off the plane with my kids and stuff. When I got to baggage claim the man saw me again, and came over to load my bags on the cart for me. Realizing (and relieved I think) that I wasn't taking a train or anything, he offered to push the bags to the van for me. He helped me all the way out to our van. I really am thankful for people like this. I could have made it, but it would have been hard. He really made my morning, and I'm thankful for him.

Overall, it was an amazing trip home. We all had a great time, and we got to see and do a lot. All that said, I'm so glad to be home. I missed this place, my home, my friends, my HUSBAND, etc. I am resting up and trying to forget the long process so I will be okay buying my tickets and heading home in June. We aren't headed all the way back to family, but we are going to Nashville to be with my sister while she has her own baby. The kids are ready for a cousin (Genevieve wants to name the baby Peanut Banana Pants), and I'm ready to see and spend time with Sarah again.

Like Old Times

My trip has been fun so far. I have done so much in such a short amount of time. It seems like that is the way it always is when I'm visiting home. Of course I don't come home that often, and I'm not able to see people on a regular basis. That makes for time home to be full of visiting with friends and family. I like it that way because it makes the time go quickly. Thirty days doesn't always seem like a lot, but boy is it at times. When you pack it full of visits, trips, and fun stuff, it makes it go much quicker.

This past week was a blast from the past. A friend of mine came to see me. I haven't seen her in about 3 1/2 to 4 years. It's amazing how fast that time can go. It really doesn't seem like it has been that long. Her husband and my husband were stationed at Ft Riley at the same time. She lived in the apartment above me. We spent a lot of time together at first by default. Both our husbands were deployed at the same time. We would go eat dinner together (much nicer doing dinner with friends than alone), shopping, movies, etc. We were really close by the end of the deployment. We have stayed in contact for all these years (7 years).

My friend and I really enjoyed the time without the kids. We went to many movies. We had a total movie experience. We saw a movie the regular way, on 3D IMAX, and then in a luxury theater. They had big leather recliners, and they gave you $15 in food credit. Nothing beats dinner and a movie when they are together and in one place.

I still have a lot to do while I'm home. It seems like the kids and I have been back for a month already with everything we've done. We still have a couple of weeks to go. I'm ready to get home and go back to "normal." I am ready to have my husband back. I don't even need the help with the kids, I just want to have him around. I'm sure most of us can relate or understand. However ready I am to go home, I am still very excited for the rest of my time here. I can't wait to spend time with my best friend, and I still have a hair appointment left. I know it will be a bittersweet day when it is time to get back on the plane and make my journey back across the ocean to home.

Just for You (you know who you are)

So I was told by a friend that reads my blog that I need to do more updates :) I didn't realize anyone really read my blog on a regular basis, and I'm so happy that some do. So this one is for you...you know who you are.

Things with our family have been good. After the crazy couple of months that include Thanksgiving, two birthdays, and Christmas we have calmed down a bit. We just got things at the house back to normal, and then it was time for the kids and I to make a trip back to the US. I know that those that know me know how much I hate flying. I really do. My husband was laughing at me this trip. He saw that I didn't eat much the night before, and he noticed I took a sleeping pill before bed. He said he honestly didn't realize that I hated it that much. Not only did I have the fear of the flight itself, but also the last trip with the kids back was still fresh in my mind even though it was over 8 months ago. I don't think anyone would forget a horrible trip like that. I was terrified of a repeat.

The morning went well at the airport, and we didn't have too many issues getting to our gate and on the plane. Both kids were really excited about the plane and getting on it. However when the jets roared to life, it scared Samuel really bad. He started to cry, but I got him calmed down pretty quick. A friend of mine let me use a DVD player she had. That thing saved my life. It had a 7 hour charge to it. The flight was 8 1/2 hours long. We didn't use it when he was napping, eating, or walking around. It saved just enough time on it for our second flight while we were waiting to pull back from the gate.

I still got off the plane tired, looking like I had been through a fight, and ready to be in a bed. The biggest change was that I did not have to deal with a child that was screaming the whole time. I keep hoping that it will be the same when we go back. I am hoping I didn't use up all my luck this trip.

We got back a week ago, and we have already packed a lot into a week. When we first got here, my cousin was here with her kids. Her older girl and Genevieve are the same age apart as my cousin and I. We watched the girls as they played and did stuff together. It was like looking at us when we were little. They really had a great time, and I wish we could get them together more often. We have also done a little shopping at those stores we can't go to in Germany (i.e. WalMart, Target, etc). We have had fun being with family, and we even made Pappy cupcakes for his birthday yesterday.

This week is going to be fun for me. I'm headed up to Kansas City to see a friend of mine. We are going to enjoy several days of kid free fun. I really can't wait. I will for sure keep you posted of what all fun we find to get ourselves into.

Sabbatical Over?

I can say I have been horrible recently about keeping up with my blog. I feel horrible. It's been a good couple of months now. That's pretty bad. However, like everyone else out there, this is a crazy time of year for us. We not only have the normal Thanksgiving and Christmas mess, but we also have two birthdays in the middle of it all. It makes for one busy time of year.

Genevieve turned 4 this year on November 30. I can't believe my first born is 4 years old now. When did she grow up to be such a young lady? She has been going to Preschool since May now. She loves it and now has two best friends. She was very excited to have her very first real Birthday Party. It was nothing amazing. We just rented out a room at the Bowling Alley here on post. Her friends got tokens for the machines, and they played on the play house. They loved the pizza and cake, and went back for my playing. They played so much she didn't even have time to open her gifts at the party. We took her to school right after it was over, and she opened gifts that night after dinner. She got a lot of really cool stuff, and still loves playing with it all. She's so grown up. I was thinking about the holiday next year (we are starting to maybe plan a big trip back home), and it was hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that she was going to be 5 in a year. Soon it will be time for real school. HOLY COW!

Samuel celebrated his 2nd birthday tonight. To say it's been an easy year is a total lie. He has been such a handful, and he's been very hard to deal with at times. He has had some issues with speech delay, and he was enrolled in an early intervention program to help him. I'm happy to report that with 6 months of work, he is now more than caught up, and he's actually advanced for his age now. He went from no words and only grunts 6 months ago to full blown sentences now. His new one is "Mommy, I want shoes." Then it will go on to shirt, pants, socks, shoes, etc. It just keeps going. Even with all the tantrums he throws, he is a joy. He makes me laugh all the time. Look at that face!! Just when I'm thinking I can't take something, he makes the goofiest face, and everything just goes away. I'm getting ready to *think* about potty training him. It takes me thinking about it for awhile for me to actually start. I want to have him ready to go so when he has his birthday next year, he can start Preschool too.

Other than that, life has been probably a lot like yours. It's busy, crowded, and full of anything and everything. I love this time of the year, but boy am I glad when it's over. It just seems like time goes so quickly and is so packed. I will be ready for "normal" again.

OOPS!

I made a really big oops tonight. I totally forgot that tonight is Daylight Savings Time here. It happens earlier than in the US, and it had slipped my mind. That being said, I didn't even try and keep the kids up any earlier to try to help them get on track. We have had a full day.

Today we had our MOPS Fall Council at the church. People from groups all over Europe came so we could have a training day. They provided child care, and we met in the next room. It was a lot of fun, and I learned a few new things. I think it is always nice to learn something in a new light than you saw it before.

Because of this, the kids and I were up early. I had to be there by 8, so we were up before 7. Mainly I was up before 7. I wanted to make sure I could get dressed and ready without the kids being up. Just as I was finishing up though, Samuel woke up. I got him ready, and about that time Genevieve was up. So it worked out nice. They both didn't want to leave though because they were enjoying Clifford on TV. They were glad when we got there though. They always enjoy playing at the church with their MOPS friends.

Everyone please cross your fingers that my kids don't get up too early now :)