Light at the End of the Tunnel

Recently I have been thinking about the possibility of more kids. I won't ever tell you that I don't love little babies. I absolutely do. Little babies are my weakness. I love the cuddly little babies that just cuddle up to you. It's an amazing thing. My husband made the mistake of saying to me, "You know, if we had a little more money I'd love to have another baby. I miss having a little one around." *insert big eyes here* What?! I was always 100% sure he was done.

However, just like at the beginning, we are split on this. Before we decided to have Genevieve we'd switch off on who had baby fever. First he would and I couldn't even think about it. Then I'd wear down and really love the idea, he wouldn't want kids. It took us almost 4 years of marriage to be on the same page. We always knew Samuel would come quickly after, but never really planned on any more. I always liked the idea of more kids, but just like at the start, I have not worn down, and I feel like our family is complete.

A couple of days ago, we were able to eat lunch alone. I told him I was really surprised that he was feeling like he wanted to add to our little family of four. He said he had just thought about it from time to time. I explained to him that right now I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can almost reach out and feel the warmth. I'm right there. It seems like the last step is to get Samuel potty trained. It would seem like then that the baby days would be over. I then told my husband that I wasn't so happy to jump back to the end of the tunnel and start over with the up all night, solids, sippy cups, etc.

I guess I could be talked into it eventually if he were serious. I do love those little ones so much to over look all that junk that goes with them. However, I'm looking so much to the future. I am ready for the next stage of our lives. I'm ready to move on with having young children at home and not babies. I'm ready for the days when we can travel without pack n plays, diaper bags, strollers, etc. I am ready to go have fun with my kids and do things that are harder to do with babies. I find this very selfish, and I'm not sure if I even care. I'm ready to move on to a new phase of life, and I'm looking forward to it.

So I will resort to holding other people's babies, and see where that gets me. Maybe I need to have a few over for my husband to hold too.