If you have been reading my lack of blogging for very long, you know that I feel that I usually end up where I need to be when I need to be there. We have always felt blessed with our duty stations (even if the job wasn't the best) for one reason or another. Even when being there deals us a blow or two, we have always trusted that God knows what he is doing, and we can handle it with his help.
I didn't come across this attitude on my own. My parents always felt this way when I was younger. My Dad decided to go back to school in the early 90s. He felt like he was being called into the ministry. So we moved from our home in Kansas, and moved to Texas. After that, my parents always said they trusted that God would put them in the right place. It really did work out to be that way. We were always in the right place for the time we were there. So by first hand experience, I too believe the same thing.
Needless to say, today was one of those days. It wasn't a move, but it was simply being put into a place to hear a few things I needed to hear. That's right, I went to church :p Church has been a touchy subject for us here. We usually find a church home wherever we are. However, since we have moved here, we have not. We have tried a couple, and they were just not a good fit for us. It's not like we can just go to any church due to the language issues. The churches we have tried so far have not been for us. That's pretty much the long and short of it.
Today we finally made the leap to try out the last church on our list. I am not sure why today was the day. I mean we have been here for almost a year and a half. Why today? Well I will tell you. Because God had a message I needed to hear today. I thought it was funny that when I showed up and looked at the hymns we were singing that my Grams' favorite song was on the list. It makes my heart happy when I hear her song. So I was already in a good mood and ready to listen a little more than before I showed up.
The message was one I'm very familiar with. I'm sure you are too. It was on the story of the Prodigal Son. I have heard this story so many times. I can tell you what the story is, and I can break it down for you too. However, today it was broken down in a way I haven't thought about before. The pastor really wanted us to look at the story from the point of view of the 3 main characters. Then he asked us to think how we could identify with them. I think it is easy to identify with the youngest son. I have been in places in my life where I have done things I'm not real proud of. I have been a person that I don't like. I have sinned and lived a life how I wanted even though it wasn't pleasing to God. I felt what it was like to hit the bottom. I felt what it was like to have to come back to the Father and ask him to forgive me. I felt the joy when I realized that no matter what I had done, God loved me anyway.
The part that really took me by surprise is when he asked us to look at and identify with the oldest son. Now I hadn't really thought about the oldest son much before now. I really didn't give him much thought. The pastor told us to think about if there was a time in our life where we had everything together on the outside. We have done everything we were asked of and done everything that we should. We have stood by our father and helped him no matter what the cost. Then all of a sudden your younger brother comes home, and all you have is resentment and anger inside you. Here you have done everything, and your brother shamed your family. He comes home, and now he gets a party. How do you deal with that?
Well I will tell you that I haven't been dealing with that well. I have carried some resentment in my life for a long time. There has been an ongoing situation in my life that I just could not let go. I would get angry just by the slightest mention of the situation. Now I see the story from a whole new light. I can really relate with this older brother. I know exactly how he felt. I tell you what...It sucks!
Then the pastor went on to say that we can change those feelings with remembering the grace we get. The father in the story told the oldest All that I have is yours. His work and loyalty were not taken away from him. His father was just happy to have his son back the same way God was happy to have me back even after all I had done.
So I have learned today that I need to let go of the resentment in my life. I need to remember that I once was the youngest son (and sometimes I still can be). I need to remember that while being in the shoes of the older brother too, that I am really thankful to have a Father who loves me unconditionally.
Thank you God for such amazing moments in my life!
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