The Sun and A Sister's Love

You can tell summer is on the way here. The simple fact that the sun is in deed out shinning for longer bits of time isn't the only clue either. I have to say I have never lived in a more miserable place in my life than Germany in the winter. It is cold, no sun (not only because of the cloud cover but also because the sun doesn't come up until after 8 and goes down before 4), and everything is just shades of gray. Everything around you is dead and shows no signs of life. I have often joked with my Twilight friends that where I'm at is a perfect for Edward to live. :p I struggle with seasonal depression, and this place does not do me any good when it comes to winter.

However, like I said, summer is around the corner. The sun is now coming up around 6 am, and it isn't going down until closer to 8:30 now. Soon we will be in daylight all but a handful of hours in the day. Last year my husband and I laughed that they couldn't even shoot off fireworks on the 4th of July until almost midnight due to the sun being up so late. I often find myself outside soaking up every bit of sunlight that I can.

Anyway, on to what I was going to say before I got off on the sun. Summer is on the way. The weather is warmer, and all that is missing is a good thunderstorm (which we don't really get, but I miss due to growing up in Tornado Alley). Summer is a great season. It brings about a more carefree time in life. It seems like things are more laid back, and schedules free up just to be replaced with other plans.

This summer the kids and I are making a trip back to Nashville. My sister is finally making an Auntie out of me, and I couldn't be more excited. No one expected that we'd make the trip to the US this summer for this occasion, but I just couldn't help myself. I find myself on the phone making plans with my sister and talking about things we haven't ever talked about. It seems like we have grown closer in the months since she found out she was having a baby.

My sister and I have always been close. We have had to be. We moved a few times when we were young and at home. So we had to be each others friend. It worked out great until we got to middle school. Then our relationship took a bump.

My sister and I really didn't get along too well in those years of middle school, high school, and then even into college. I always held some resentment of the things that she was given. These were the same things that I had to work for. I felt really upset by these things, and it really put a wedge in our relationship. I don't even know if she knows about these things. It wasn't until recently that I heard something that really changed how I felt. We had started to mend our relationship before that point, but I think at that point I was able to let go and just move on.

That wasn't the only thing that really kept us from connecting. She told me once recently that until she got pregnant she never really got me as a person. She didn't understand why I didn't want to work. She didn't get why I felt the way I did about certain things. She didn't get what my life was about and why it appealed to me. It does seem like now we are more on the same page of life again. For the first time since those early years, we can say that we are truly understand each other. It's been a long time coming.

I have to say that being in Germany has made me really look at how much I really want to have my sister in my life. It is not easy or cheap for anyone to call me here. In fact, no one calls me from the US. I don't blame them either. So my relationships with friends and family fall to me. Sure there is email, and I am usually good at keeping up, but there is something to say about phone calls. I realized several months ago, I want my sister in my life. I want us to stay close, and I want our kids to know each other. I have always felt that way, but more recently I have felt the need to show her this. I have felt the need to lead by action and not just words.

All this said, I am so excited to go to her home and visit with her for several weeks. I am happy to get to spend some time with her right before the baby comes so it can be her and I. We can go shop, have fun, watch movies, and play Wii. I'm also just as excited to spend time with her after the baby. I can't wait to see her be a mom. I can't wait to meet my new niece or nephew. I can't wait to help her out in the ways she wants me to. I also can't wait to see my kids around their new cousin. Genevieve is really excited and can't wait for her new cousin to get here. I'm sure she will want to hold him or her and love on them.

I guess this is where I'm going to end today. I just want to end with this to my sister.

Sarah,

I love you more than you will know. You are a big part of my life, and I'm so thankful. I know God knew what he was doing when he put you and me together. I am so happy that you have been there for me even when I didn't deserve it. I am glad we have fought to keep each other in our lives even when it seemed like the other couldn't care less. You are an amazing woman, and I look forward to our relationship as the years pass us by. Thank you for putting up with me when you shouldn't have. Thank you for understanding (if even years later) that being apart of my life means the world to me. Here's to many more years to come!

Love you more than you know,
Your Sister