Just Another Day in the Life

There is a Season

2012-02-11T05:25:00.001+01:00

Before I start today, I want everyone to know that while I may complain from time to time, I am actually very content with my life. I hate being in one place for too long. When my husband and I were first married, we moved yearly. We just liked the change of scenery and the ability to do something new.

Life in the Army suits me well this way. The longest we have ever been in one place has been three years. That was our stay in Germany. We not only stayed there for that length of time, we also stayed in the same apartment all three years. That was huge for me. I passed the time with rearranging furniture, buying new pieces, and more rearranging. It kept me happy.

What seems so sad to me right now is how I'm already looking to the future. I am already thinking about our next move. While I am so glad we got the station we wanted, I can't help thinking about where we might go next. It seems my brain is wired to think so differently than most. I guess that is nothing new though.

I guess where I am going with this is simply this. I am going to try and challenge myself to live now, and thankful for all that I have been given. I need to be still and just enjoy the things here that I love. I need to remember that no matter where I end up, it's not by my doing. There is a reason, and I need to remember that more.

So my challenge to all of us is to find your purpose for right now. You have one. There is a reason I'm a stay at home mom. There is a reason I am struggling with making real connections. There is a season for everything and everything has its time and place. Be still and see what you can hear what your purpose for this season of life is.

Umm Yeah

2012-01-25T04:38:00.001+01:00

So I have sat down and tried to blog three times recently. To write in my blog. Each one having something great in it, of course. However, they must don't get finished and posted. So, today I'm finishing a blog post. I know all of you out there miss me, so I'm back.

I guess I'll start off with a joke? What do you call a person who has been stuck with ten needles? A pin cushion? I my case, you call her one happy camper. This past week I went to the specialist for a nerve block shot. Little did I know it also included injections on my shoulders and down my back.

All that said, the result was amazing. I haven't been pain free for years. Finally I have manageable pain again. I think with a few more treatments it will even get better. I told a friend of mine that I was in so much pain and didn't even know it. When it builds over time, you don't notice just how bad it is. In that first absence of pain, I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my head and shoulders.

I think the shots, and maybe my new meds are doing the trick. We will see in time how things work out. For now I'm just happy with this little bit of time I have.

The Pharmacy Blows!

2012-01-11T02:11:00.001+01:00

You'd think the painful part of my day would be rehashing my entire medical history to yet another neurologist. If you have ever been to one, you probably have the same experience as I have had. You go in and spill the beans about everything you have tried, done, etc. My issues go back to 1998, so that is a lot of history. However, that part of my day wasn't the worst part. The hour drive there and hour back wasn't either. The thing that was just the turd in the punch bowl was my wait at the PX Pharmacy waiting to get my meds. Oi! I have now been here over an hour, and I'm still waiting for my number to be called the second time. The first time they called me I had to give them my prescriptions. Then came the bad news. I was to take a new number for pick up. I started out with my first at 101 and I was 118. Now I'm 196 and they are only on 186. This makes me miss my tiny little pharmacy up on the hill that makes you call in the prescriptions.

Greatness or Craziness?

2012-01-10T06:52:00.001+01:00

I have been watching a show on Hulu (the only source of TV we have) where famous people go about tracking down people from their past. They trace either just one person or try and go back as far as they can. There are alway interesting stories about these people and where their roots are. This got me thinking, where does our family come from. I did a quick google search, and wouldn't you know there's an app for that. :p I swear there is an app for everything. Anyway, I started with the basics. I knew my parents, my hubby's parents, and most grandparents. I know my aunts and uncles, and so I simply just started to fill in the blanks. I didn't get too far, but I did find a public record showing my mom's birth, and a few social security death notices. When my hubby came in from work I started telling him that I had found this app, and I had gotten a few people put in. He then said, "you have to be careful digging up the past. You will either dig up something cool or a bunch of crap." So here is to my family tree. I know we are all a little on the nutty side, but it would be amazing to see if we are related to anyone "cool."

PTA (Potty Training Anonymous)

2012-01-09T06:20:00.001+01:00

It's the little things in life right? Well today I celebrated one of those little things. To really grasp how this little thing isn't so little, we need to go back four years. Let me take you on the journey. Four years ago my son was born. He made his first cell phone call within an hour of his birth. You see my in-laws were at our home an hour away keeping a watch out over our oldest. He was screaming (as most newborns do as they are brought into the world), and my hubby had called his parents to let them know they had a grandson. From the second I laid eyes on him, I knew he was going to be stubborn. You see we didn't know if we were going to have a girl or boy. As my OB put it, we were one of the rare couples that wanted to have the full surprise. We had many ultrasounds due to not getting goods pictures of his heart (that should have been the first clue), and the fact that I was measuring so far ahead. I was always 6 weeks ahead measurement wise. While my doctor and I did not agree on the due date, she knew that I was just really big. My hubby was a recruiter at the time and never got to go with me to anything. I was that woman who brought her infant almost toddler with her to all the appointments. Genevieve was amazing though and kept busy. She was never in the way and was alway good. It just so happened that on the day of the scan (the one where they can tell you the sex) my hubby was able to come. As we were looking at the pictures of our baby, my hubby let me know he thought we were having a boy and pointed out the evidence. I then had to tell him the evidence was actually the baby's nose.My hubby was right though, and we had a baby boy come the end of December. We had picked out names for both a boy and girl. We weren't totally sure on the girl's name and had many conversations about it even up to a day or two before. I just knew that if we had a boy, we would call him Ayden. I loved the name. I was excited when they handed me my not so little baby, and told me he was in fact a boy. The doctor then looked at me and asked me what his name was. As I looked at his face, I just knew I didn't hold an Ayden in my arms. I had to tell her I wasn't sure on the name. She asked my choices and then said that both were really good names. It took me about 10 mins, but I knew that my little Samuel was going to give me heck as much as he could. As a baby, he was calm and mellow. I typed something up in his first year describing him as my mellow child. He was a great sleeper, and he was just so calm. He'd nap while his sister was at school allowing me to nap, and just was a loving little guy. Something shifted in that first year, and the guy I've come to know and love emerged. He has just always wanted to do things his own way and in his own time. He walked and talked much later than normal. His therapist said it was normal for little boys to lag because of the lack of wanting to develop skill sets at the same time. When he did decide to walk, talk, etc, it was really quick. He is smart as a whip, and he picked things up quickly. We didn't even use the therapist for the whole year because he was soon not only developing, he was advanced. This brings me around to the whole point. I have tried to potty train my son for over a year off and on. He would do fine sitting for a few days and then throw a fit the next. As you can imagine, it was very frustrating. I had Genevieve potty trained fully (no accidents on a regular basis) in 3 months. This was a lot harder the second time around. Well, I think my stubborn son might have decided it's time to be a big kid now. He is now at 4 days accident free. I feel like someone who is at an AA meeting or something. "Hello, my name is Emily. I'm Samuel's mom. He is 4 days clean." We have fought at times about doing yuckies, and we have even made up a song to help. He even wore undies to church today. It was a big step to trust he'd be okay, but you have to start sometime. After he gets off the potty and does said yuckies and the song is sung, he immediately asks for my phone. He wants to call his Gammy to let her know that he was a big kid. The conversation lasts for all of 10 seconds, but he likes to let her know. Sometimes he then asks for Pappy and Grandma and Grandpa via phone. They are all great and make a huge deal out of it for him. He gets excited telling them that he was a big boy. Needless to say, I think he might have made up his mind. I hope so anyway. It's the little things like phone calls to grandparents that can make all the difference in the world. Let's just hope this means it is for real this time. I mean the kid did tell me he was going to get married in diapers after all.

2012-01-06T21:18:00.001+01:00

So today is a product review. I do this from time to time when I find something I really like or enjoy. Today's topic, my Kindle. My best friend got a new Kindle Fire for Christmas. She was awesome enough to sell me her's at a great price considering it came with the purple cover you see and the skin. Since it was a good deal I was going to buy it even though I don't really read. I knew my hubby could use it (if we found a new cover) to read on overnight duty or while he was away. Needless to say, he won't be getting it at all. I have had it maybe a month now. I have read 8 books and almost through my 9th. It is so much easier to read a book on the Kindle than in book form. I love the special ink that makes it look like a real book page. I have tried to read on my iPad, but because of the backlight, it eventually gets hard to read. I also find that due to how portable it is, I will take it more with me. Depending on what book you want to read, you could be in for a hefty load. I know some of the last books I read were 400 to 700 pages. That can make for a heavy addition. The Kindle is a lot smaller and weighs next to nothing. I won't go on and on why this has been a great addition to my electronic collection, but it is! If you are on the fence about getting one, you should take the plunge. I even have a blog I check to get titles of books that are free on amazon. I have a good amount of books to read after I finish the book I'm on. So run to the nearest store and pick yours up! I don't think you'll be sorry you did. :)

Location:I <3 My Kindle!

Red Van or Blue Van?

2012-01-05T22:19:00.001+01:00

Have you ever wondered if you made the right choice? I'm sure most of us have at some time or another. It can be something as small as what you ordered for dinner or something bigger like did I pick the right car. I think at some point in all our lives we are faced with the question am I or did I do the right thing. I'm having one of those moments. I can't and won't go into much detail (I know, what's the point in blogging then). The matter at hand is not important. It is the lessons or insight you gain. You wonder if you should have picked the blue van instead of the red. You wonder if what you decided to do is worth being on that path. I was visiting with my sister today on the phone, and she was sharing about some things she is going through. As I gave her the most awesome big sister advice I could, I realized I needed to take my own advice. Funny how that works. I kept telling her that everything would happen in the right time, and even though we don't always like it, we just have to rest assured that what needs to happen will. I do believe that you have to make certain things happen. I know you can't just sit back and everything will happen. There is work involved. However, I believe that we are put in certain situations for reasons. I haven't always had a simple, easy life. I have had my fair share of shear crap that has entered my life. However, I honestly believe that through all good can be made. Anyway, as I'm taking a mental note of the year to come, I realize I'm in for one heck of a year and next year as well. It is going to be hard. I am dreading the year to come. I'm in a place I really wanted to be, but I'm not enjoying it like I thought. I'm still keeping an open mind, but it's hard. I fear the trials will be great, and I'm not sure I'm ready. I know all the things that are said like, "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I hate that phrase. Also one of my favorites my hubby uses is, "pain is weakness leaving the body." We have the army to thank for that one. I look back at my entire life, and while I know there were places and situations I didn't like or understand, there was some reason that I was there or something good actually came from it. Even horrible things that have happened have somehow been used for a greater good. It is with that in mind that I give up this whole year (and next) to just be open. I'm not sure what the purpose of everything is, but I pray one day I know that my time here and over the next couple of years was a blessing or worth something.

Back in Business!

2012-01-05T00:44:00.001+01:00

So the app I have been using to type up my blogs has been acting up since I updated my iOS. I tried another, but it was horrible. I'm so happy to be back in business since the surprise update today. So here it goes, my New Year post. I'm going to just go back to some of the ups and downs of the past year. Since I didn't blog much last year, this can kind of fill you in on my journey through 2011. The year started off like any other...hubby gone a lot. He was gone anywhere from 3 days to 6 weeks at a time. I couldn't complain because he loved his job. It was very busy, had long hours, but he was happy for the first time in awhile. Being in Germany, you develop a family you choose. You have people you know you can call no matter what. People that know you well enough to know that even when you say no over and over, they won't take no for an answer. I remember when I was detoxing my meds, a friend wanted to bring me dinner so I wouldn't have to cook. I told her no a lot. She knew I wasn't a morning person, so she called bright and early so I was thrown off. When I said yes finally, she hung up on me before I could change my mind. We had another couple that were great. Hubby sponsored them when they moved to Germany. We got to know them as I took him to the store to get stuff while they didn't have a car. We had dinner often after getting to know them. We would also play Wii, and were glad to have them over for holiday meals. We would even split up and the guys would play video games while the girls would go to girlie movies. The summer was great. I visited home in April with the kids. A few weeks after I returned home, my in-laws came for a summer visit. They had been to Germany, but it was in winter. We were excited to take them on vacation. We went down to Garmisch and then down to Pisa, Italy. While in Garmisch, we split up a few of the days. Our crew had already taken a few tours in the area, so we wanted to see what we could find. We ended up hiking to a couple of towns away, ate a nice lunch, and headed back because Genevieve was tired. We told her when we got home we would rest and then go swimming. Wouldn't you know she found her second wind, and she ran the whole way home (guessing about 5 miles). We also went up on the tallest mountain in Germany, and we went through and over a gorge. Italy was amazing. We spent only 3 days there, but they were great. We went to the beach everyday. We did go to the leaning tower of pizza (Pisa) before we went to the beach one day. We couldn't go all that way and miss that one. After that, we were in full move mode. We had orders, and we were having to get ready for the move. If we weren't going through stuff to get rid of it or sale, we were busy trying to figure out if we were even going to take it. Packing day came, and we were so thankful to end up with amazing packers. They got our stuff to the US in pretty much perfect condition.It wasn't long after we had the van turn in. If you follow me on Facebook, you might have seen the picture of our van when it did not pass. To the normal human eye, it was amazingly clean. To the eye of a customs inspector, it was still really dirty. Nine hours total, and the van passed inspection and was loaded on a boat. Remember at the start when I said hubby was gone a lot? Well that turned out to be something that paid off in the end. He had enough frequent flyer miles to upgrade the whole family (for free) to business class. It was so nice being up there. We got our fair share of dirty looks at the first of the flight. They saw our two kids and thought they were in for a noisy ride. They were all surprised when not only did they behave, but they were also quiet. In fact one person told me that they forgot there were even there. I always joked that my kids had more airline miles than most 3 and 5 year olds in the US, and it paid off that day. After getting settled into our new home, we have just been trying to find our places here. I haven't found amazing friends that are like family, and my hubby is kind of bored at work with it being a much slower pace. However, we are adjusting and thankful for all we have. For the first time in 3 years, all grandparents were accounted for at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the kids' birthdays. There was no Skype needed. For the first time in 6 years, the WHOLE family (my parents, my in-laws, and my sister and her family) was together for a holiday. It was a nice feeling. I'm not sure what 2012 will bring, but I'm ready to embrace it with everything I've got. I'm hoping that this year will bring a debt free (we have a van payment and student loan) way of life, and make funds available for things like bigger payments to an IRA and more to the church. I'm also hoping too learn more in the way of cooking. I've been told I'm a good cook, but I don't believe it. I want to expand that and work on cooking. I have several things I've found to try already, and I hope to pick up cake decorating maybe. I hope you all had an amazing holiday, and a great start to the New Year. Now that my app is fixed, I hope to be doing this more often. :)

Wow! This is annoying!

2011-11-22T20:06:00.001+01:00

So I'm coming to you via a new app. My app that I loved for blogging is having issues. They said they have an update submitted, but I guess it isn't coming to the customers. What really blows is that it was a paid app. I'm hoping to be back to my old blogging place soon. Until then, I will suffer through this one.

I bet you all want to know what I've been up to. Well it has to do with the movie that is on my TV right now. The movie is called Go Potty Go! That's right, I am once again attempting to potty train my son. He refuses to do it. When I say that I really mean it. We have been making some headway recently, but boy is it slow going.

If anyone is interested, I can act out the whole movie and sing all the songs. Maybe I can start doing potty parties for kids and do my version of the video. I'm about to loose my mind either way. :)

Please pray that for the sake of my sanity, this time he decides to actually care about not peeing or pooping in his pants.

Getting Back to "Normal"

2011-10-07T02:09:00.001+02:00

So it's been a bit since my last blog. It has been quite a busy few weeks since we found our place. It never ceases to amaze me how much work moving is. We are very lucky that the military has a great system in place. I am so thankful for all the men and women they hire to pack up all my stuff in boxes and to haul them to/from the truck.

You know the saying, "If it's too good to be true"? Well it does sound nice that they do all that for you, but there are also draw backs. You have to really prepare for them to show up. They will pack anything and everything. When you pack, you can go through it. I found a pretzel stick in paper in out boxes this time. Yeah, a pretzel stick wrapped up in paper and put in the box. :p

Well, our stuff arrived about a month earlier than we thought it would. (Big Yea!) We have been working hard this week to get everything settled. We have the kids' rooms done, the kitchen, and the rest is in a state of unpacking. I don't think there are many boxes left that haven't been opened. Now our house looks like it is messy and in need of the show hoarders.

Today though is about getting back to normal. I am excited because I'm headed to my first MOPS meeting this morning. I'm excited because I need that outlet where I can meet friends and start to grow again. I am glad to be getting out of the craziness of our house for even just a few hours.

Some day soon life will seem normal again.

Home Sweet Home!

2011-09-15T20:39:00.001+02:00

**Typed two nights ago**

Every time we move I always think the next one will be less hurried and rushed. That was not the case this time. In fact, I think our move to Germany was the most calm. We were not allowed to live off post, so we really just had to pick an apartment that we could live with. It took about 45 mins, and we had a home. It seems much more chaotic when you have choices. While I love being able to pick where and what I want to live in, sometimes I wish it were as easy as our last move.

I realized I haven't blogged since the plane, so I will start at that point. We landed late (for us having been up for almost 24 hours) on Tuesday night, and went right to bed. Usually jet lag isn't much of an issue, but this trip had more issues than normal. We had planned on moving Samuel to a twin bed once we got here (he was still in his crib because he sleeps like a crazy person, he didn't climb out, and I just hadn't got around to it). I really didn't want to buy one more piece of furniture that had the possibility to be destroyed. Needless to say, he has now figured out how to get in and out of the pack n play. We will be moving him very soon (as soon as our bed we ordered arrives).

The next day, thanks to the help of grandparents, hubby and I set off to find a place to live. We knew we needed to move quick since Genevieve needed to get into school as soon as possible. We had made an appointment before we left Europe to look at a couple of places. We headed to the first and really liked it. Of course we wanted to make sure it was the right choice, so we told them we wanted to look at a couple more places. He let us know that 5 other people were coming to look at it too. We had about an hour before the next person showed up. We went to see the others, and we knew we weren't going to find anything we liked better. So we rushed it back to the office and got the lease signed before the next showing.

We wondered if we rushed into the decision due to the pressure of someone else being able to take it. I wondered that really until last night. We all finally made it back to the house, and we were able to settle in a bit. The kids have been telling me all day that they like out new home better than the last one. When you ask them why, it's always the same answer, the backyard. The school Genevieve is going to attend seems great. She was very excited she was going to be in the purple pod. She got even more excited when she learned that her teacher had gone to Germany this summer on vacation. She asked me at home if she could talk to her in German then. I told her she could try and see if she knew any.

I'm really missing my stuff right about now though. Everyone that I visit with ask if I am settled or settling in. While we are, it just won't be home until I can get my stuff. As my best friend commented today, my style right now is cheap garage sale. I know that you can buy some pretty amazing things that way, but that's not the style I'm going for. That said, I'm very thankful for the stuff we do have. It does make living a whole lot easier until then.

So, about the place. We gained about 650 sq ft from our last place. I'm so bad with spacial recognition anyway, but it's been really bad here. I keep wondering if things are really going to fit or not. I really don't know why they wouldn't with the extra space. Our bedroom is much larger as well as both of the kid's rooms. Our living room is a decent size, but smaller than what we had. The dining room is attached to the kitchen. This is the area I have concerns about. I worry that it is too small for our table. My hubby who has named himself "master packer" due to his great skills of making it fit, says there is no question about it. It will fit. The kitchen is HUGE. I always hated our kitchen in Germany. It was narrow and small. This one is nice and open, and has room for a few people to work in it. There is a lot of cabinets, and I don't think I'll even use them all.

Anyway, we still don't have internet for a few days, so this won't be posted tonight. Gotta love those parts of moving. They will start charging gas, water, and electric right away. You want to get your cable up and running, wait a week. At least we get 2 months free. :)

It's All Business

2011-09-07T00:42:00.001+02:00

Today's the day!! We are officially no longer residents of Germany. As I type we are all seated in business class. We have been on a roller coaster for this whole reservation since we booked it. We were very excited to find that we could use my hubby's frequent flyer miles to "buy" upgrades for our flight. We thought we had enough, but we were 1200 miles (not even a quarter of a flight to the US) short for the whole family. Thank goodness a guy in his office offered to transfer miles so we would have enough.

After the company changing the plane, a few seat issues, and waiting until the very last second, we were all upgraded. I have never been able to fly first or business class. We aren't even an hour into our flight and we have had 3 drink services, a hot snack, ordered our meals (a lot of choices), and are now about to be served our starter for lunch. What a big difference!

Now that lunch is over, the kids are calm, and I have a chance to put my feet up. I think I will take advantage of these reclining seats and take a quick nap or watch a movie. All I have to say is a HUGE thank you to my hubby for cashing in his miles on us. It made my amazing time in Germany come to a not so bad end. There were still tears, but at least I was able to cry in the comfort of business class. :)

Done Son!

2011-09-02T15:49:00.001+02:00

Over the past few weeks, it's been one thing after another. Our lives have been in upheaval for awhile too. At first the kids thought it was really cool to have all their stuff packed up and sent to the boat. Not so much anymore. They are crying about their stuff being gone. While they know it's on the boat making its way to our new home, they don't actually understand.

After the stuff, our van went. That was just as hard for them. Again they know it's on the big boat, but why do we really have to send the van on a boat? Isn't that really silly? Well to a 5 and 3 year old it is.

Yesterday was the big day. We spent all last week packing, deep cleaning, clearing out stuff, and cleaning more. It was a really hard week with a lot of hard work. It was hard to know that the kids didn't understand why we couldn't just do things like normal. They didn't understand why we were so busy and stressed. Well if you aren't in the military, buckle up while I explain clearing housing.

When we lived in Oklahoma, we kept asking the landlord did we need to do this or that. They were a little surprised when we asked if we needed to wash out the garage and storage shed. They were even mor surprised when we asked about planting new grass in the bare areas. They were shocked when both they and the Army (we were in government leased housing so technically it was the Army renting the house) showed up and they took an hour to do the finally walk through. The man from the company said if it would have been up to him, we would have been finished in 10 mins. This was an easy clearing.

We had heard horror stories of clearing here. We have wood floors, and they are very quick to charge for just about anything on them. One of hubby's co-workers cleared the day before us, and it took him over 2 hours to get finished. My hubby and I prepared ourselves for the worst.

We were terrified when he showed up 30 mins early. We were finishing up mopping. We told him to please hold on and we'd be done soon. He went in the kitchen and I tried to answer questions for him. Much to our surprise, it took all of 10 mins and we were done. I told hubby to run out the door before he changed his mind. I'm happy to report we made it out of housing without charges. We were hoping to leave here with some sort of savings in our account. :p

Now we are at the hotel just waiting for our flight. I'm so glad that some friends of ours gave us a bottle of wine. I'm going to drink it tonight. Just a few more days and we are back to the US. it's hard to believe that the 3 years have gone so quickly. Now let's do it all again in reverse. :)

How Clean Can a Van Be?

2011-08-26T23:02:00.001+02:00

As I type, we are waiting to have our van inspected. We have poured blood (I can't tell you how many scrapes, cuts, etc we both have), sweat, and tears over this thing. When we dropped the van off to ship here, my cousin went with us to bring us back to her home and eventually the airport. She looked in it, and said something like,"This isn't clean?!" We had no issues shipping the van here and passed with flying colors.

The day before yesterday, my hubby went into major OCD mood and we both spent about 4 hours in detailing the van. Everything looked great, but we were in for a shock. We brought the van over and just had them look at it to see if it would pass. The answer was no. They pulled back the rubber to see if there was dirt and dust, any tiny speck of anything in the carpet was flagged, and there was a lot more. The 5 hours we had put into the van hadn't really done much.

We came home yesterday and spent another 3 or 4 hours cleaning. We pulled back anything that could be, and we scrubbed like mad. We have been cleaning so much our battery died just from the dome lights. That's a lot of work!!

Now we sit waiting for someone to come look at the van and make sure it is zombie virus free. I've got my fingers, toes, and everything else crossed that they pass it because if they say no I really think I'm going to cry.

****Time elapsed****

So it is now bedtime, and I'm happy to report that we did in fact pass our inspection. It did take a long time, but it's over. We are now without a van or car of any type.

Thank goodness all that is over. Now we have to hustle to get our apartment ready for our check out. That's the last hurdle.

Good Day Planned, Kids in Mood

2011-08-22T22:54:00.001+02:00

Ever had one of those days? Yeah, my kids did today. Both of them. Thank goodness it wasn't at the same time. I've worried with all the craziness in our lives, that a fun day was in order. Oddly enough it really hasn't been hot over here this summer. Usually it only takes mid 80s to get us to the pool, and we have only been a handful of times. With the weather being crazy hot, we opted for the pool today.

Everything at the pool was fine. Both kids were having fun going down the curly slide (their name, not mine). They were even wanting to spend their day swimming in the "big" pool. Unless you have seen this place, it is hard to understand. There is a lot of grass and a few trees to relax. Over at the back of the complex, are two baby pools. One only comes up to just over my ankle and it slopes to that depth. The other is a bit deeper with a little slide. There is also a water trench for the kids to play in. Usually, this is where we spend 90% of our time.

There is another area to the complex. You have a lap pool, a deeper pool (probably around 4 feet to 5 feet), an area with diving platforms, the slide, and then another pool that maybe goes to 3 or 4 feet deep. This was where the kids wanted to play. It's nice for us because we can actually get in the water for real.

About lunch time, Samuel freaked out and didn't want to eat. About 20 mins of him having a cow, he ate his lunch and all was okay with the world again. We even got both kids to go down the fast slide, and Genevieve was going down it alone.

We decided to head out a little early so we could go eat at Pizza Hut (expensive in Euro, but worth it to us). After we ate, we stopped by the store, and it was Genevieve's turn for the meltdown. What triggered this? A Dora hairbrush. I finally calm her down to get her out to the van. One stop later, and it's all undone again. Who was at the store? The ice cream truck. When I told her no a few times, she started to cry again. By this time, I had just had my fill. So I did what any loving mom would do...I laughed.

This brought on a whole new wave of tears and the phrase, "You broke my heart so bad. It won't ever be happy ever, ever again." When this was said, I couldn't help but laugh again. She did finally calm down, but it took a lot of work.

Tomorrow is back to the pains of moving. We have to turn the van in to ship this week. They are really picky, so it has been crazy. We've already washed it twice, and it's nowhere near finished. It will all be over soon though. I just keep telling myself that.

Nothing Like a Dead Animal in the Morning

2011-08-20T23:36:00.001+02:00

I've decided that living out of a suitcase really blows. What's worse is all four of us living in suitcases and with the bare minimum. The good news with only having four plates, cups, etc is there is no reason to run the dishwasher. It's really easy just to hand wash and be done. I haven't done a luggage count, but I know it's got to be at least 8 bags, if not more.

So this morning started out really interesting. My hubby went out to take care of some business. Just a few seconds after he left, he called. All that was said was, "Come out here now." I was expecting to find the car in nonworking order. I was surprised to see a hedgehog dead right by his car. I haven't ever seen one of those over here.

The second weird thing was this afternoon. We are working on the van trying to get it ready to ship. When hubby popped the hood to put on the engine cleaner, I found what at first seemed to be a French fry. Now I wouldn't think twice if one of these turned up IN my van. Upon further inspection, it was not a fry, but it was a rib bone. How'd that get there?!

All in all it was just an odd day. I just can't wait to find my new normal.

Trucks and Boxes (and an Award too)

2011-08-17T17:31:00.001+02:00

So this is our life for at least the next day or two. The packers came this morning and have been at it full force. I really couldn't have asked for

better movers. They really have worked hard and have got most of our stuff put into boxes. It's amazing how when you move there is a period of time where it takes to really feel like you are moved in and home. For us it is alway at least a month or two after we get our stuff. We have to have a home for everything, and I have to know where it is without thinking.

Today I realized how quickly all that "at home" feeling can be packed up. By lunch time the movers had both kids rooms packed, most of our bedroom, and about 80% of the living room. If it were up to me, that would have taken a week (or more if I'm really being honest).

Yesterday was busy not only getting ready for our move, but also because my hubby got his award. It was a great day, and it is always great to hear that all his hard work didn't go unnoticed. To see his co-workers there wishing him luck with his next step was just great for me to see. It made the past two years with all the late nights and time away somehow okay. To know that the people who need him really did appreciate him was great to see.

So here goes a different busy for moving. Somehow today it officially feels real with all the boxes and stuff gone. I'm sure we will stay busy and have a lot to do. I'm hoping for a time out this weekend for a trip to the pool. I think it's well deserved. :)

220V Craziness Around Here

2011-08-14T23:13:00.001+02:00

So I thought I was doing pretty good at keeping the amount of 220V stuff to a low number. I knew we would only be here 3 years, and at the end most of the 200V stuff cannot return to the US with you. Well, it can, but it just won't work right, nor would I want to try.

As I have been trying to get ready for this next week, I have run into a lot of these items. One might think having the military move you is easy because you "don't do the work." However, I have argued with my Mom many times that I feel it is not easier. When you move yourself, you can do it over several weeks and go through everything while packing. You can decide that maybe you just don't want that any more. You also might find treasures you had been missing. This just doesn't happen with our moves. It is all done in two days. The packers show up bright and early. They enter a room, and they pack EVERYTHING no matter what. I know of people who have had trash cans with trash still in them, ash trays with ash and buttsnin them, etc. If it is there, it will be packed.

This type of situation makes for a lot of pre packing work. Everything has to be ready to go and separate so they won't pack whatever it is up. While unpacking my kitchen here in Germany, I found our garage door opener from our home in Oklahoma. Oops! I sent it back to them.

Anyway, tomorrow is our busy day. We have to get through both kid's rooms and get rid of toys, clothes, etc they don't need. Then I need to pack their bags so we are ready to go. I think my stuff will be a little easier, but I know my jewelry is going to be a nightmare.

I'll report back tomorrow and let you know how much actually happened. :p

No Good Very Bad Day

2011-08-13T17:50:00.002+02:00

Ever have one of those days were you wish you could just go back to bed and not get up? That's me today. It's was a hard night last night and a hard day today. I think it was a great candidate for a go back to bed and wake me when it's over.

Some of the stuff I'm not going to talk about on here. I'm just really discouraged right now. I felt like we were moving forward with this move, and now, I feel like we are right back at the start.

Not only do we have that, but Genevieve is also a mess. She is very emotional right now about just about everything. Today she was in tears about things as big as leaving friends behind and as small as her seat belt making her "hot."

I remember what it was like to have to move when I was a kid. I am very aware of how upside down and sideways her life is right now. It's a hard balancing act trying to keep her calm and just giving in because it is easy. I do know first hand what it is like to move as a child, and so I try to remember what I felt all those years ago.

I also have to deal with my own grief with the move. I have to deal with leaving all my friends behind. As I'm gearing up to fly out, they are all getting ready to start up my (and their) usual activities for the year. I got the evite for MOPS, and I was sad to have to respond no. I know that other activities are going to be starting up as well.

I know when we finally get there, get settled, and feel comfortable, it will all be okay. It's just getting there that's hard. So if you have any thoughts or prayers to spare, we could sure use a few.

Location:No Good Very Bad Day

Zombie Virus Free!!

2011-08-11T23:03:00.001+02:00

It's been a couple days since my last blog. It's been a busy few days in our home. We are in full blown Operation Move the Family Across the Ocean. It's been appointment after appointment. The other day we had the movers here walking through our place to see what all we had that needed to be packed. Today we were visited by customs.

I usually don't worry to much about all these inspections, but I have heard that the inspections over here are a bit more on the difficult side to pass. If you are in the military or have talked with me about moving, you understand how picky they are about things. Silly things like when you move out, you need to make sure and clean out the light fixtures and my all time favorite is that you must clean the trash can...the outdoor trash can.

As I was saying, the customs guy came today to make sure everything was clean. They were mainly looking at outdoor things and tools. He came to the door, and the conversation was kind of funny.

Hello, I'm here to do your customs inspection.

Good morning. I'll get the keys.

Well, I need to look to see if you have any planters or potted plants, then look at your patio furniture.

We don't have any of that.

I still need to look on your patio.

We don't have one.

Well, I'm going to have to look to see if there is anything on it.

We don't have a patio at all. Nothing is back there.

Oh, okay. Let's go downstairs then.

I thought this was really funny. Like a balcony all of a sudden appeared. The inspection lasted all of 5 or 10 mins though. He said everything was great, and we were zombie virus free. :)

Things are coming together. We are one step closer to having a place to live when we get there. I have also gotten a lot of the information for Genevieve to start school. We just need to have our stuff picked up and get things headed that way. While it has been busy and will continue to be busy, things are happening, and we will be home before I know it.

Potter, Vampires, and Games...Oh My!

2011-08-09T11:05:00.001+02:00

Every now and then I find books worth reading and that I enjoy. I have had many over the years, but I just don't read as much as I'd like. I have a horrible time with reading comprehension. I can see the words. I can say the words. Somewhere between the eyes and the brain it scrambles though, and it makes it hard to retain the information in the book. Because of this, the books that people blaze through usually take me forever. If they are books that are what I call wordy, they can really do a number on me.

When I finally got an iPod, I discovered the world of audiobooks. I love them. When I take having to look at the words out of the equation, I retain the information a lot better. So, I have really been enjoying our library's huge audiobook selection here.

I usually come about popular book series late. I didn't want to read Harry Potter when it first came out. I wasn't ready for a book (again the whole I don't always like to read). It was about the time the first movie was due to come out. My sister had mailed me her paperback copy of the first book. I was living in Chicago at the time, and I had a long commute day. I was due to spend about 3 hours on busses and trains. I told myself if in those 3 hours I wasn't into the book, I'd just put it back in my boxes and be done with it. By the end of the day I was hooked. I read all 4 of the books that were out while I was living there. As each of the others came out, I would get them and read them. Most of my friends would get frustrated with me though because as the books got longer, so did the amount of time it took me to finish it.

I don't exactly know when the Twilight series came out, but I know that I missed that boat totally because all of the books (except Bree Tanner) were out when I started reading them. Again, I came to that series out of desperation. I had just moved to Germany, and I was suffering from the lack of TV channels. I read all those books in no time, and I have got several other friends to read them as well.

I guess that was a long way to go about telling you. All that I've finished another series. Well I did about a month ago. I had only heard of The Hunger Games in passing. People around me had been talking about them, and like normal, I resist. My best friend Lacy asked if I wanted to read them with her. I told her okay, and I set out to find them on audiobook.

I failed her because she finished them in about two seconds in April. I was finishing up a series still, and I didn't get started at the same time as she did. However, I did want to listen to them so I set off on the task to do so.

I will try and keep this as spoiler free as possible, but I am going to talk about the books now. I was taken in by these books right from the start. If you haven't read the books, the short version is that every year 2 children (ages 12 to 18) are chosen from each of the 12 districts to participate in the Hunger Games. These children are taken to the Capitol and they are then put into an arena. There is only one rule, you have to be the last one living to win. You must kill or be killed. The whole thing is televised for all of Panem to watch on TV.

What really has struck me about these books is the common lines in our world today. "Reality" TV is huge! I can't say anything because I'm an avid Big Brother fan. I wait for summer to watch 12 strangers get locked in a house. I tune in 3 times a week to see who wins power, and who is voted out of the house. I watch to see who has to eat slop all week long. While reading the books I wondered how could the world get to a place where they would watch children kill each other, but seeing how into this type of TV we are into, I don't think that it is hard to see how maybe if something were set into motion how it could happen.

The three book series takes you through horror after horror. There are twists, turns, and surprises around every page. The stories between the leading lady and her friends, those who are inspired by her, and those who want her dead are amazing. It's a wild ride that had me in tears more than once. And while I feel it has a "happy" ending, it isn't the same as most books I've read recently.

So, if you haven't read these books yet, I suggest you pick them up. They will take you on a wild and emotional ride. I don't think you will be sorry you picked them up!

Oh the Money You Save

2011-08-08T20:50:00.001+02:00

Today was a busy day spent on the phone. I spent time calling the many departments of USAA (our bank) to see what all needs to happen before we move. I needed to also get some other information.

I remember when we moved here. I called to change our car insurance, and it was a good thing I was sitting down. Until today I didn't remember the price difference, but I knew it was shocking.

Like I said, today I called to check about a few things. We are going to be selling our hoopty, and I remembered that there was actually a storage rate. The man on the phone was very helpful letting me know what info I needed when calling after the sale, and when to call. He also made my day telling me that when we ship our van our bill will go down to 25.50 a month! While on the phone he said he would give me a quote for our new location. It looks like we will be saving about 80 dollars a month just in car insurance. We will save 136 dollars a year on our renters insurance. That is almost 1100 dollars a year!! It's not a ton of cash, but it's a nice bit back in our pocket.

There are many other things we pay for that we have gotten use to. I know that in Kansas, gas is much cheaper than the just about 4 dollars a gallon we pay here. I also know that the exchange rate isn't great, and I pay for Genevieve's school in Euro. She will start public school when we get back so that's a bit right there too.

I do know that we will have to adjust to life back in the US. I won't have to get use to turning right on red again, it being cheaper to eat out, and the parking spots being big enough for my van. Things that I will have to worry about...speed limits!

Anyway, just rambling about nothing really tonight :) Hope you are all having a great one!

iTunes is for the Devil!!

2011-08-07T13:03:00.001+02:00

So I said last night in my blog there are many reasons for me to get back into it. Mainly I think that blogging is a type of therapy for me, and right now I can use it. There are a lot of stressors in my life, and maybe with this new outlet, it will help me to just let go, relax, or whatever the situation calls for.

Today I'm bombarded with the millions of things on my calendar. It only came to be that way by chance. Last night my hubby was trying to sync his iPod. We have been trying to downsize our computer/tech stuff and this goes for laptops. He recently moved his iTunes to the computer we are consolidating to. I did this awhile ago when we bought the computer. I had zero problems with the change over.

Anyway, he has synced twice now and each time it has erased most of his apps and taken off music and added some. It just messes everything up. Again, I have no issues with my account for either my iPod or iPad. Watch though now that I say that, I'll do something wrong next sync. This removing/adding/whatever really gets to him. He says he hates his iPod (my old one) yet I think it's a front. I guess the software is just made for those of us who just don't question and just plug in and let it go. With him having a lot more knowledge of how things work, I think he over thinks it.

All this to get back to my original comment about being overwhelmed. In his frustration he said something about erasing my iPad and clearing all the data. I realized then that all those dates in my planner would be lost. Not only are there so many that I can't recall even half of them, I just don't even want to deal with that. I wonder if I have made a mistake not keeping a paper copy of a planner as well. However, I don't think I could go back to paper. This is just so much easier for me.

As I might, or might not have said last night, my saving grace is that come a month from now we will be back in the US, and the hard part will just about be over. I am really praying hard that the business class doesn't fill up because we are on the upgrade waiting list. With all of hubby's travels, he had enough miles for us all to fly home in business. If we do, it will make all those trips home alone with the kids well worth it.

If you came back to my blog, thank you! If no one did, I often talk to myself anyway, so it's nothing new.

My Coming Back Party

2011-07-15T20:22:00.001+02:00

So, I hope some of you are still around. I haven't been blogging for a LONG time. Our time in Europe has been fun, but it has almost come to an end. It just seems like we have been so busy, and life has gotten in the way of blogging. However, with a HUGE move coming up in a month, a headache issue, and many other things going on, I thought getting back to blogging would be good for me.

What have I been up to? A little of this and a little of that. I made a quick, unexpected trip back to the US in April to visit my Aunt. It was a nice trip home, but as always, it's great to get home again. Right after that we had hubby's parents here for their vacation. The highlight was our trip away.

We spent two weeks away with them. The nice thing about the resort down in Garmisch is that they have tours to take. We didn't want to take any, but they were perfect for his parents. We spent our days hiking around the hotel, and swimming. One day we all (parents included) went to the gorge right there in town. It was an easy hike through the gorge, and we all sat by the river for a quick snack. After the men decided it would be fun to take the long hike back. It was really the LONG way. It took us forever to get back. When we were 90% done with the trail there was a sign that said, "For experienced hikers. Not recommended for children" Oops! They really should have put that on the other side too. We did many other things, but we still all joke about going on another hike. :p

After we spent the week there, we took off and headed to Italy. While we were there we were able to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa (pizzas as the kids like to call it). While it was fun to go see that, we had the most fun just sitting on the beach. We went every day we were there. One day we couldn't get in the water due to the waves being so high and strong. We still had fun playing in the sand and collecting shells.

More recently I have been trying to spend as much time with my friends as I can. I really am going to miss living here when we leave. This place has really grown on me. I usually am okay with leaving, but this one is going to be hard.

Anyway, now that I have my iPad, it is much easier to do blogging and such. I hope to be updating on a somewhat regular basis. I hope you all don't mind ... I'm back!!

One Month Down

2010-07-22T13:47:00.002+02:00

As of this past Tuesday, I have been dieting for a month. I say dieting, but it really has become more of a lifestyle change. To me a diet is something you do for a short amount of time. It is a short term fix for something that may or may not have been a long term problem. For me diets have always come and gone. I have always lost weight, but I have always seemed to gain weight back. So I have really worked hard to make more of a lifestyle change.

So after 30 days of my lifestyle change the results are in...dun dun dun....18 lbs! I never thought it was possible to loose that much in a month but here I sit as proof that it can be done. My first weight loss goal is 20 lbs, and I have been waiting for about 1 1/2 weeks for that pesky 2 lbs to come off. It just won't come off. However, I figure in due time it will come off with I hope about 3 or more other lbs. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to do a Green Smoothie Only day again to kind of jump start my body again into loosing weight mode. I hope that by getting back to basics again, maybe I will start to loose some more weight. Maybe next month I can report that I have officially made it back to my wedding weight :)

Oh My Word!

2010-06-23T13:33:00.002+02:00

So yesterday was day 1 of Green Smoothie Detox. That was one of the hardest days in awhile that I have had food wise. I never realized how much I ate just because I just wanted to and not because I was hungry. It was funny how my stomach seemed to want to run me and not the other way around. I got to the end of the night, and I thought I was going to kill over from not eating all day. Most people would say something along the lines of anything is fine in moderation, and that I should have just eaten a little of something. However, it was important to me to make it through one day. I needed to make it one day. If I could make it one, I could make it two...or so I thought.

I spent the morning thinking if I really wanted to continue with this. I went to my Wednesday morning Bible Study. Some of my Smoothie buddies are in the Bible Study with me. I watched all of them sipping on their smoothies and wondered if it was so hard for them to resist the bagels, cheese, and meat over on the table. It couldn't be....could it?

When I finally made my way home, I just wanted to cheat. I wanted to be bad, and I wanted to eat something solid. Today in the plan we add in rice. I don't like rice, and I wondered if it would be something that'd fill me up. Most wait and eat it for dinner. I have to do a sleep study tonight, so lunch time rice it is. It isn't something that rocks my socks, but boy does it feel nice. :)

Before I ate the rice, I had a wake up call. One of my smoothie friends told me this morning that she lost 4 lbs in the process of yesterday and this morning. So before I cheat I get on the scale. I have lost 5 lbs in just the first day. With that knowledge, I decided to stick with it today. I do know that I'm going to slip off the Smoothie Detox a couple of times in the process. My husband and I have a couple of planned nights out, so I'm going to still do that. However, I hope that by the time we do something like that, I will have better control with telling my stomach to lighten up.

The Smoothie Detox lives another day!

You Want Me to Drink What?!

2010-06-22T13:31:00.003+02:00

About a year ago I saw a woman bringing her son into the childcare room with a cup. Upon further inspection of the cup, it looked like the most horrid stuff I had ever seen. I didn't know if she expected her son to drink that stuff or not, but I watched as he did. It looked like a dark green slime drink in a cup. I couldn't believe that this kid was drinking it.

As the weeks pasted, this woman finally mentioned something about these green smoothies. I was glad to know what they were, but it still didn't make them any more appealing to me. The idea of spinach, lettuce, or any other green veggie in a smoothie just didn't sound good to me at all. In fact I wondered how anyone could even stomach it.

Later on in MOPS, she did a smoothie demo for everyone. I tried one (with my eyes closed so I couldn't see the green goo I was about to ingest), and I wasn't too impressed. I just couldn't get past the fact that there were veggies in my smoothie. That just isn't natural. you aren't suppose to drink green slime stuff. You just aren't.

Well it has been a year since my first encounter with a green smoothie, and today I am starting a Green Smoothie Detox. This friend of mine decided a few weeks ago to send out an email and ask if anyone was interested. I don't know why I said yes, but I did. Maybe I was still jet lagged when I read it. She said in the email that if people do things as a group you are more likely to have good results, and I know she's right on that. So I gave into peer pressure and joined the Green Smoothie Clan.

I will keep people up to date about how the smoothies are coming along, and I will even posts some pictures as the days go on with my own concoctions of mixed greens and fruits. This mornings smoothie consists of spinach leaves, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, and water. I think I'm going to do some more of the same this afternoon. It's going to be a wild month while I'm doing this, but I hope that after all is said and done, my tastes have changed (for the better), and I am in more control over my eating and appetite.

So bring on the green goo! I'm taking you on! I can do this...I can do this...

Seasons of Live

2010-05-28T09:50:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was one of those changing of the seasons days for me. A lot has been going around here, and it has been hard not reflect on the changes that are happening in my life. It's amazing how little things will trigger moments where you reflect on life and how you really got to where you are. I haven't been going that in depth with my refections, but I have had a few bittersweet days.

It all started several months ago when one of Genevieve's best friends moved away. This girl's mom and I were friends too. It made me sad to see a friend go. When you live the lifestyle we do, leaving friends and having them leave is just another part of life. It isn't something we enjoy, but we expect it. I have also learned that in the military it doesn't have to be goodbye. People often run into others down the road. With the new advances in the web, Facebook, e-mail, and other things make it so easy to stay in contact.

Anyway that one move started our season of change. By the end of the summer I will have 5 or 6 friends move away. I'm usually pretty good with people moving away and moving away myself, but this time it seems different. It seems harder to loose so many of the friends I have made in just a few months. I will still have some friends here, but loosing some always is hard. I told my Mom a few weeks ago that I felt like I wouldn't really have any friends when the summer ends. She then reminded me that she has NEVER know me not to have friends. She reminded me about a wonderful trait I have to be able to walk into a room and make friends with just about anyone there. She is right, and life moves on. To my friends that are leaving, I will miss you. However, like I said before, it's not goodbye, it's see you later.

Yesterday also brought about a new season in motherhood. I have embraced the season of having a toddler and a preschooler in my midst really well. I know that my kids will grow up, and that doesn't really bother me. I am looking forward to the upcoming seasons in life with them. However, I realized yesterday just how fast they come.

Genevieve cannot start Kindergarten this year. She won't be 5 until the end of November. They recently changed the cut off date to earlier in the year. Even without the change she is no where near the dates to enter this year. I was telling a friend of mine that I think most parents think their kids are smart enough to go ahead and go, and I'm no exception. I believe that Genevieve is at a place now, where she'd have no problems in school next year. However, I have decided that I'd rather just leave things be, and have her one of the oldest in her class. With our life right now, she will have a lot to deal with as a kid. If we keep on our current path, she will encounter moves, times where Dad is away a lot or for long periods of time, and many other things. I would rather her be more mature than one of the younger in her class dealing with these things.

She has been in a Part Day Preschool class for over a year now. She loves Ms. Susan's class. She has had so much fun at school. However, with her growing and learning so much, she is now too advanced for the class. Because of this, we decided it might be best to look for something new for her. We found something we think will be right up her alley. We have enrolled her in German Kindergarten. I went to see the school last week, and it is amazing. She is going to have a blast! I'm so excited because I know she will now be challenged in a new setting. She will be able to pick up another language, and she will learn to interact with a whole new group of people. She will also switch to an all day program instead of just a few hours a day.

I just think how if we were not in Germany, she wouldn't get this shot at something so neat. She will be able to tell people now that she went to a German school. How many people can say that? I'm excited for her, and I hope that she will love it as much as I think she is going to. Watch out German school, here comes Genevieve!

Deals, Deals, and More Deals

2010-05-18T14:32:00.002+02:00

So I know I posted a few weeks ago about all the soap I got paid to take out of the store (and I actually got some more this past week). I don't want to make a habit of only blogging about deals that I get, but I have got a few these past couple of weeks, and I just have to share.

I am big on saving money when we can. My husband and I have worked real hard to get out of debt, and now that we are there, I'm pretty intent on staying that way. When I can find a deal or something that is a great buy, then I will take advantage of that. I scan the clearance racks, look at fliers before shopping, and several other things. I'm not as hard core as some other people I know, but I tend to think of myself as a pretty smart shopper.

First deal happened last week. It was totally by accident though. I really can't take much credit. I have a friend who let me use a portable DVD player for my trip home last time. She told me I could use it anytime I wanted. When getting ready for my trip coming up, I mentioned to her about her DVD player. It was bound to happen, and it did, that we would be gone at the same time. I loved her DVD player. Most portable players I have used only last about an hour or two before you have to charge them again. This does me no good on our long flights. This DVD player has a 6 hour battery. When you add in take off, landing, meals, snacks, and naps, that is about how much time I need a DVD player for.

Anyway, I took off last week to look at the store to see how many were left. It is a 190 dollar DVD player (worth every penny if you are flying with my son), and I wanted to wait until the last second possible to spend that money for it. When I went in last week, there were only two left. I knew my luck, and if I didn't go ahead and get it, it would be gone when I needed it. So I went ahead and picked it up. When I got up to pay, it rang up for 67 bucks! When I asked about it, they let me know that it was the right price, and that I got a good deal. It's not a good deal, it's an AMAZING deal!

Yesterday the deals came too. I went to the store to look for another set of PJs for Samuel. Carter's makes these wonderful sets that come with a t-shirt, shorts, and pants. I love them because they can be used in the Spring, Summer, and Fall. I get a lot of use out of them. I had already got one set, and I wanted to pick up another. A friend of mine had told me they were having a sale on shoes, so I went over to that area too. That's when I hit the jackpot. I got both the kids new shoes yesterday. Original price was 40 bucks each pair. I got Genevieve's shoes for 9.50 and Samuel's shoes for 8.45. I think I might actually go back and get another pair for each of the kids in the next size up. It is so hard to find velcro shoes for Genevieve's shoe size. These are, and I am so glad.

With all the deals that I have been blessed with, I'm ready to share some blessings of my own. I have a lot of toys (about 4 bags worth) that I'm needing to get rid of. I think I'm just going to drop them off at the recycle center instead of trying to sale them. I love the idea that maybe by me giving toys away, they can bless someone else. I hope that whoever takes the toys enjoy them the way my kids have.

Wine or Not to Wine?

2010-05-08T20:21:00.002+02:00

Tonight, I think it's wine. I have had a LONG day. We all woke up early this morning. It wasn't a bad wake up early. Usually when my husband is gone, I sleep really bad. I stay up really late, and I have to get up early with the kids. I seem to get in a cycle, and I can't get out of it. However, with our schedule during the week, I have been trying to go to bed earlier. I don't mind going to bed before others, but I would much rather go to bed at the same time than later than my husband. Since he has to be up so early (thus going to bed early), I have started doing the same. I worried that with last night being the first night of him gone, I'd be up late. Not so much. I actually went to bed at a decent time.

Anyway, the kids and I got up early, and we did "morning baths." The kids usually take baths before bed, but sometimes when alone, I like doing them in the morning. I don't usually have to fight them as much, and only having one set of hands, sometimes it is easier when we aren't fighting with bed time. While the kids were in the tub, I got a phone call. I totally forgot that there was a MOPS event today.

Today we were doing an easy cooking night. We were going to have our Rachel Ray moments and demoing an easy meal. We all brought meals we could show or something already made. We then got to have our moments and show our dish. We then got to sample the dishes and eat. There was childcare, and we just got to hang out with our MOPS friends. I love these events because it is always nice to just hang out with other moms. I had an easy recipe that is a pasta bake. I can put it in my crock pot, and it doesn't heat up my whole house. In the summer that is a HUGE plus.

We got home late from the event, and it was already past the kids bed time. Of course they were acting like it, so it was a long hour or so until they went to bed. We did PJs, medicine, brush teeth, and Blue's Clues. Both are now out, and fast asleep. So it was with the day I had, I have decided that a glass of wine is in order. So here I sit blogging and drinking my wine. I think I will also go to bed early again so maybe I won't have issues with sleep while my husband is gone.

Couch Potato

2010-05-01T17:41:00.003+02:00

I hate to run. I mean I HATE to run. I more than hate to run. I can't run to save my life. I have never been good at it, and I don't think I ever will be. I struggled in high school, when I actually WAS in shape, to run a 10 min mile. I was never fast, and I never enjoyed it. However, some changes need to be made in my life. I am taking charge of my health, and exercise is part of that new life. I don't always like to go to the gym, and I don't really want to build muscle right now. I just want to loose some weight. So drastic times call for drastic measures. I started running.

HOLD THE PHONE! That's right! I started running. Well I call it running anyway. If you saw me out there today, you'd have laughed. For some reason today was the day I wanted to start. I wanted to go alone, and I wanted to actually start something and finish it.

I found a program called Couch to 5K. It pretty much is interval running. It requires you to run 3 days a week, and by the end of 9 weeks, you are suppose to be able to run 5K. Lucky for me, there was an App for my iPod. I downloaded that bad boy today, and there was no day like today to start running. I am turning over a new leaf, and I want to make this a goal. I want to complete this, and I want to be healthy again. It's more than time to get going on this.

There was no day like today to start. I had the App, and I made a play list on my iPod of all my upbeat music and fun stuff to run to. I synced it and got some running clothes on. Little did I know that it was raining outside. I probably would not have gone a couple of days ago due to the rain. However, today I went. I just put on a hoodie, and away I went. I felt really silly only running for a min and then walking. I am sure people were looking at me funny. However, like I recently heard, "You don't get out of shape in one day, and it will take you more than one day to get back into shape." So today was the first baby step into getting back in shape. It is long overdue.

For Papa

2010-04-29T22:13:00.003+02:00

I want to tell you more about my Papa, but today I leave you with a story and a poem that my Papa taught to me when I was maybe 12 or 13 years old. Grams was so mad at Papa for teaching me this poem because it has a cuss word in it. However, Papa knew even then how much love I have for the arts, and he taught me this. My mom and I were joking that only I have the ability to remember silly stories and details that others would forget within a few weeks. I remember silly things in vivid detail. Often when I want to talk about something in the past I try and bring back all my memories. I have been able to tell my husband what we were eating and where when we had a certain talk 10 years ago. Who remembers this kind of stuff?! I'll tell you who. ME! So here's the back story before the poem. And yes folks, this is a true story, and the poem is one that was written for the feelings had by Uncle Joe.

There were a group of guys who would always meet up at the local store for coffee. They'd all drive in from their farms and from town to meet up and shoot the breeze. Well a man by the name of Old Dad Frad did not have a car. He lived out in the country, so he would walk to the highway, and one of the other guys would pick him up. He made a habit of cutting through a couple of fields on his way to save time. One of these fields belonged to Bradley Pigg.

Bradley Pigg got tired of Old Dad Frad using his field to cut through, so he told Old Dad Frad that if he saw him walking through his field again, he would call the cops and have him arrested. Dad Frad didn't think much of it, and the next day he went on to the highway through the field again. Bradley saw him and called the cops. Dad Frad ended up calling the coffee shop to have his buddies come bail him out. All the guys at the shop pulled their money together to get him out, and they brought him back to have coffee.

From that day on, someone always drove to get Old Dad Frad from his home so he wouldn't be arrested any more. However, the story goes, that anytime there was a lightening storm or thunderstorm with a lot of lightening withing a certain radius of Bradley Pigg's farm, somehow it always caught fire. ;)

So here is the poem by Uncle Joe about Bradley Pigg

I was walking through the cemetery one night,
Reading the inscriptions by the fading light.
There was Gene Brown, and Old Dad Frad,
A host of friends I once had.
Shit Pewee! Shit real big!
For there's the grave of Bradley Pigg.

The Sun and A Sister's Love

2010-04-27T14:20:00.002+02:00

You can tell summer is on the way here. The simple fact that the sun is in deed out shinning for longer bits of time isn't the only clue either. I have to say I have never lived in a more miserable place in my life than Germany in the winter. It is cold, no sun (not only because of the cloud cover but also because the sun doesn't come up until after 8 and goes down before 4), and everything is just shades of gray. Everything around you is dead and shows no signs of life. I have often joked with my Twilight friends that where I'm at is a perfect for Edward to live. :p I struggle with seasonal depression, and this place does not do me any good when it comes to winter.

However, like I said, summer is around the corner. The sun is now coming up around 6 am, and it isn't going down until closer to 8:30 now. Soon we will be in daylight all but a handful of hours in the day. Last year my husband and I laughed that they couldn't even shoot off fireworks on the 4th of July until almost midnight due to the sun being up so late. I often find myself outside soaking up every bit of sunlight that I can.

Anyway, on to what I was going to say before I got off on the sun. Summer is on the way. The weather is warmer, and all that is missing is a good thunderstorm (which we don't really get, but I miss due to growing up in Tornado Alley). Summer is a great season. It brings about a more carefree time in life. It seems like things are more laid back, and schedules free up just to be replaced with other plans.

This summer the kids and I are making a trip back to Nashville. My sister is finally making an Auntie out of me, and I couldn't be more excited. No one expected that we'd make the trip to the US this summer for this occasion, but I just couldn't help myself. I find myself on the phone making plans with my sister and talking about things we haven't ever talked about. It seems like we have grown closer in the months since she found out she was having a baby.

My sister and I have always been close. We have had to be. We moved a few times when we were young and at home. So we had to be each others friend. It worked out great until we got to middle school. Then our relationship took a bump.

My sister and I really didn't get along too well in those years of middle school, high school, and then even into college. I always held some resentment of the things that she was given. These were the same things that I had to work for. I felt really upset by these things, and it really put a wedge in our relationship. I don't even know if she knows about these things. It wasn't until recently that I heard something that really changed how I felt. We had started to mend our relationship before that point, but I think at that point I was able to let go and just move on.

That wasn't the only thing that really kept us from connecting. She told me once recently that until she got pregnant she never really got me as a person. She didn't understand why I didn't want to work. She didn't get why I felt the way I did about certain things. She didn't get what my life was about and why it appealed to me. It does seem like now we are more on the same page of life again. For the first time since those early years, we can say that we are truly understand each other. It's been a long time coming.

I have to say that being in Germany has made me really look at how much I really want to have my sister in my life. It is not easy or cheap for anyone to call me here. In fact, no one calls me from the US. I don't blame them either. So my relationships with friends and family fall to me. Sure there is email, and I am usually good at keeping up, but there is something to say about phone calls. I realized several months ago, I want my sister in my life. I want us to stay close, and I want our kids to know each other. I have always felt that way, but more recently I have felt the need to show her this. I have felt the need to lead by action and not just words.

All this said, I am so excited to go to her home and visit with her for several weeks. I am happy to get to spend some time with her right before the baby comes so it can be her and I. We can go shop, have fun, watch movies, and play Wii. I'm also just as excited to spend time with her after the baby. I can't wait to see her be a mom. I can't wait to meet my new niece or nephew. I can't wait to help her out in the ways she wants me to. I also can't wait to see my kids around their new cousin. Genevieve is really excited and can't wait for her new cousin to get here. I'm sure she will want to hold him or her and love on them.

I guess this is where I'm going to end today. I just want to end with this to my sister.

Sarah,

I love you more than you will know. You are a big part of my life, and I'm so thankful. I know God knew what he was doing when he put you and me together. I am so happy that you have been there for me even when I didn't deserve it. I am glad we have fought to keep each other in our lives even when it seemed like the other couldn't care less. You are an amazing woman, and I look forward to our relationship as the years pass us by. Thank you for putting up with me when you shouldn't have. Thank you for understanding (if even years later) that being apart of my life means the world to me. Here's to many more years to come!

Love you more than you know,
Your Sister

Clean for a Year

2010-04-25T15:03:00.002+02:00

That's right folks! You can all rest easy that I have enough soap (I think) to keep me clean for a year. I had given my talk at MOPS this past week about how to save money. I told them that I made a stupid mistake a couple of weeks ago. Usually here when they give out coupons you should hold on to them. It usually means (especially when they have the item up front) that they are going to put them on sale soon. I was so excited about the coupons, I went ahead and bought a box of the Swiss Ives bath soap with the coupons I gathered up. I paid $3.00 for the box of six. Really that isn't too bad of a deal in my opinion. However, in true fashion, the soap then went on sale for 49 cents a piece. The coupons I had were for 50 cents off. DOH!

I had been to the store several times after they lowered the price, and I kept kicking myself over and over for not holding on to the coupons. Well yesterday my luck changed. The coupons were BACK! They were giving the soap away by the case. I loaded up my cart and grabbed the coupons to go with it. Even with the amazing price tag, I couldn't take home every last box like I wanted to. I did show some restraint and only brought home 6 boxes of soap. Counting the one box I already have, I now have 42 bottles of soap. That's a lot of soap. Even if I go through a bottle a week, I have enough soap to get me through all by 10 weeks of the next year. What I like the most about it, I made 36 cents doing it :)

Pop Tarts and MOPS

2010-04-21T15:10:00.002+02:00

Just like every Wednesday in our home, this morning was no different. I woke up far too early (for me anyway) to get ready for MOPS. I woke the kids up, got them dressed, and gave them a Wednesday morning Pop Tart for breakfast as we were running out the door. I am NOT a morning person. I never have been, and I don't think I ever will be. However, for MOPS, I will get up. This group has blessed me so many times that it is important for me to be there.

Today was a special day in our MOPS group. We were doing our semi-annual MOPS Clothing Swap. I love Swap day. Everyone brings in all their baby/kids clothes that they don't want, and after the meeting, you can go shopping for new clothes. I always take more clothing to the swap than I bring home, but it gets it out of my home. That's the important part. It's always a lot of fun though to get "new" stuff for the kids.

Today we also had a wonderful woman give a talk on home organization and cleaning. I asked her last night as she was setting up if she had read my blog. I told her that I had just talked about this here, and how I was really down about the fact that I felt so inadequate when it comes to that area of my home life. She had some really great points. She mentioned that cleaning is like exercise. You either love it or hate it (I of course HATE it). Just like exercise, you don't get back into shape overnight, so you can't expect to get into good cleaning habits overnight. Here all this time I thought I was a hopeless case :) She had some good ideas for making things easier, and now I'm thinking I need to convince my husband to let me buy a new laundry hamper for Samuel's room. Needless to say, I really think the things she talked about where things I needed to hear. I needed to hear that it's okay that I don't like to clean. I needed to hear that I'm on the right track just doing something new and mastering one thing at a time. I have found it easier to keep things clean now that we did the great purge and cleaning, but I fear that it won't always be easy. My husband is set to be gone for a couple of weeks. If there is any time that I slack, it's when he's gone. So I have been telling myself that I won't do that. I'm trying to really make myself not get into the mind set where it's okay to slack off. I need to get into a habit and make this work for me.

I also wrote the article for the newsletter this week. I got several comments about what I wrote, and it really made me feel good. I was going to write about something to go with the whole saving money thing, but I just couldn't get into it. So instead I wrote something about how I felt about being just a mom. I use to think that I had nothing to offer, and my job was no where near as cool as those of my working friends. In a conversation I had with a friend I learned (from my own words) that being just a mom is just fine. I don't have to do anything "cool" to be happy with who I am and what I do.

So I think this is where I will end. It's getting close to time for me to leave. I need to go wake up my sleeping child and go get the other one from school. It will then be a rush to get everything in between now and dinner time. After dinner is bath and bed quickly. It seems so far from now, but it really isn't too far off until bed time (for the kids). I am so glad that God will put people in my life to speak to me as I need it. As the woman said today, if we do these things with a joyful heart, our family and God will notice. So that's my goal for this week. To try and do everything with a joyful heart.

As Promised...Pictures!

2010-04-16T11:07:00.003+02:00

As promised, here are the pictures of our living room re-do. It took a few hours to actually get the stuff in the place we wanted to get it. As you can see (I think) we have wood floors. I use to want wood floors like crazy. I would say, "If I only had wood floors." Now that I have them, I wish I didn't. Wood floors are suppose to look nice. I, for the most part, think they do. However, they seem to need more upkeep than any carpets (including the navy blue carpets in our last rental) we've ever had. Sweeping and moping didn't use to take much effort and work until we got the wood floors.

If you took a tour of our tiny apartment, you'd notice there are area rugs (nicer ones) everywhere. We have the two in the living area (as seen in the picture...the red rug is actually two rugs). In our kitchen, we put a very large rug under our table. If you ask my hubby, it was the best idea he ever had. Most of us know that men don't usually think of those things. My hubby loves to decorate, and does an amazing job at it too. He decorated, picked colors, etc for our place here. However, the rug under the table was my idea. I had been so annoyed with the chairs making awful noises when scooted up to the tables, cleaning, etc with the hardwoods. I begged him to get a rug. He finally decided he'd give in, and now all of a sudden it's his idea. Go figure :) On top of all those rugs that I already stated, we have one in each of the kid's rooms. Genevieve's is purple and HUGE. It covers almost the whole floor in her room. Her room is pretty small, so that helps. The one is Samuel's room is a lot smaller in comparison. It gets the job done, and it looks nice. We don't have a rug in our room because there isn't much floor space after you put our king sized bed, dresser, and night stands in there.

What I started off wanting to say was that wood floors are not fun because of the dust and dirt that collects under furniture. It's not like carpets where you can't see it, or it builds up the way it does on carpet. So as we moved furniture, we had to sweep and mop everything. The dirt and dust was horrible. We use to move our sofa and clean under it once a week. That was before we got our sectional. It's not as easy to move a sectional. So we had let that chore go. It looks like maybe we should put that back on the list for a once a month type job.

I think the pictures from here will speak for themselves. They show what we did, put up, moved, etc. I really like the new lay out, and I'm thinking we won't move it back when the winter hits again. Facing the window from this side of the sofa isn't fun right now, but in the winter, there isn't much sun anyway. So here you go...as promised, the pictures of our room re-do :)

Dishes, Vacuum, and Laundry...YUCK!

2010-04-14T12:30:00.003+02:00

If you ask me if I can keep this up, the answer is no. However, I want to try really, really hard to improve. What is "this" exactly? I want to work on keeping my place clean. It sounds like something stupid and trivial. I mean a 31 year old woman should be able to keep an apartment of this size (only around 900 sq ft). It is my weakness though. If you ask me to list something that I do well and something I need to work on, that would be what I need to work on. They say when you are asked that question in an interview you are suppose to make it something positive or spin it so it is that way. I usually respond with I'm always very punctual with time. I believe that being on time is late. You should always arrive somewhere 5 to 10 mins ahead of time to be ready to work on time. My negative I usually state is something like I care too much. That by making emotional connections with people I work for, with, and help, it makes it hard for me to be objective at times. This shows that I take a personal interest in my work. I take time to make relationships between co-workers, bosses, and those I work to help (usually children or elderly).

If I were answering the same question about being a stay at home mother, it would be a lot different than the last question I just answered. Something I do well in this roll is have fun with my kids. We do so many different things, and I'm always eager to get them into new locations and doing new things. My weakness, cleaning. I don't like to do it, I can't always see what needs to happen, and I am not good at it when I actually do it. I feel like I'm a failure. I can't figure out why my brain is not wired right for cleaning. My husband complains about this a lot actually.

So my goal as of right now is to try and keep the house as clean as I can. I don't know if I need to make a chore list, find some way to organize what I'm doing, or what will even work for me. I am at a loss. If anyone out there has any good ideas, please let me know. I'm willing to try anything just about right now.

Why now? Well for one I'm not getting any younger. I also want to be an example to my kids. I have been on Genevieve for a long time now about her room. I make her pick up her room every night. She is lost. It takes her forever, and she fights every step of the way. I realize that if I set an example for her, she might be more willing to follow. I don't want her to struggle with this the way that I do. So we are moving to being a good example and seeing if that helps. Lets hope it does.

Spring is Here!

2010-04-13T11:58:00.002+02:00

You can't tell by the weather here just yet, but Spring is here. My husband has had to go to the store to get allergy medicine, and the cleaning bug has hit. We knew when we got our new sectional that the way we set up the living room was only temporary. We had the long end of it in front of the window. We don't have central heating and air here, so we have to use portable AC units in the summer. Some people don't think it gets that hot here, but we like to have our place cooler than it is here. Our walls are made of concrete, and it really gets warm in her quick.

So this was the weekend to do it. We like to undertake big projects when we know we have several days to take care of everything. We happen to have a four day weekend this past weekend, so we went for it. We just didn't do something easy. NO, we had to change everything! It wouldn't be us if we just went for the easy way out. Now that we have everything done though, I really like the new layout. We have one wall that is really bare, but we will find something to add to it.

On top of revamping the living room, we also did the kitchen. We moved some stuff around, organized the cabinets, and cleaned everything from top to bottom. I was so happy that my husband said to move the silverware drawer. I hadn't told him (I knew I'd get laughed at) that I always went to our junk drawer to get my silverware. I am sure it is because in a friend of mine's house, that is where her's is. So now I can go to the drawer and not feel silly anymore.

As for other things, I think detoxing is going better. I have been feeling much better recently. I still think I have a ways to go, but I am getting there. I learned real quick during the last couple of weeks that I don't ever want to have to do that again. I really hope that some of this other medicine I'm on won't cause the same issues when we start to work on getting some of my other medicine on track. Good news for now is that I seems to be doing better.

Pictures to come of the place. I promise.

Detox BLOWS!

2010-04-05T13:59:00.003+02:00

I think I mentioned that my meds were being changed around. Well, cold turkey was the way to do it, and that is what I did. I'm less than a week into my detox (will probably take up to two weeks), and this really blows. I have had really bad headaches every day, and I feel like I've been beat up, run over, hit with a bat, and a bunch of other things all at the same time. I am nauseous a lot, and I don't really have a clue when it will start to get better. If I just knew when I'd be over the top of the hill, I think it'd make it easier to deal with. Until then I will just pray that this is that day and hope for the best.

On a side note, today is the 2nd Anniversary of my 30th birthday. :) I told my husband this the other day, and it took him several times of me telling him to get what I was saying. He then proceeded to tell me that it was stupid, and I should just suck it up. I embraced my 30th birthday with ease and open arms. I don't really even mind being 31 either. I guess the big thing that I have trouble getting is that I AM 31. I don't feel even close to 30. I guess that's the issue. I don't feel like I'm old enough to be where I am in life. I don't even remember what I would have said when I were younger. All I know is that life is good, and I'm not complaining. So I again open my arms wide to my birthday, and I am hoping for an amazing year to come. I have learned that life is short, and it seems to speed up the older we get. For that, I am going to try and not waist a single day on the small things.

April Fools!

2010-04-01T20:50:00.002+02:00

So I thought about being really silly and posting that I was pregnant with the twins everyone says I will have. However, I thought twice. Mainly because I know if I do that my luck it will really happen. So no April Fools for me. I just went on about my day like every other.

I find it silly that I'm about to blog about this, but oh well. My life hasn't really been much for blogging recently. I can't tell you how much I am loving my iTouch. I have wanted an iPod for YEARS. I think when they came out with the Nano that was like a small square. I think it was like the 3rd generation. I kept telling my husband I wanted one and would hint at it. He never got me one. I'd go and look and look and look. I always came up empty. He would always say something like, "You know, you probably wouldn't use it after a few days." or "We have a big CD with all this music on it or the DVD is on for the kids." I would always see his side and never push the issue.

We were lucky this year to get into the Sears Heroes At Home program. Every holiday season Sears asks its shoppers if they'd like to round up their total to the nearest dollar and contribute it to this program. I'm sure they get other donations too. They take this money, and they divide it up among all the people who they select for the program. We were amazed at how much money in Sears gift cards we got. Since we didn't really have anything we needed or wanted from there, I told my husband I was getting an iTouch. He didn't like the idea at first, but he finally said okay.

I am happy to report that since getting mine, I have used it at least once every day. I usually use it off and on all day. I got some small speakers that I keep in the kitchen. It makes doing dishes and cleaning up a little easier to deal with when you can listen to some good music. I also use it at bed time. I haven't ever been someone who can fall asleep without something going on in the background. My husband usually goes to bed pretty early due to having to get up so early. I can now watch movies and listen to my books before bed without bothering my husband. The best part is that I don't ever hear him say, "Can you turn it down?"

Like I said, not a lot going on in my life. I'm working with a new doctor to get my headaches under control again. She seems to think I need some different medicines. I guess one that I was on is not good for long term. In fact it can be known to cause headaches after you take them for so long. It was nice to know that maybe my spike in migraines was connected to something that can be fixed. I'm praying that the withdraw from this medicine goes smooth and everything else works out easy. Keep your fingers crossed.

Late Night Sickness

2010-03-23T23:18:00.003+01:00

So why is it that just about every time a child gets sick it is at night? It's usually right before bed, and right when you need sleep the most. That is the time it hits. It has not been a good week in our home for sleeping or being well.

On Thursday last week, Samuel decided to break in his car seat in a way that hasn't been done yet. He threw up all in it. It was horrible. Not only did I feel bad for him, but it took a lot to get his seat cleaned. I got him up to the apartment, cleaned up, and put to bed. While he was okay and sleeping, I went down to clean the seat. As soon as I got it cleaned and upstairs, he was sick again all over his crib. That afternoon into the night he went through 7 outfits or PJs, and I went through 3 shirts and 2 bras. Thank goodness I had just bought a few new sports bras. Lucky for me, he finally calmed down and fell asleep for the last time at 9:30. After that he was back to good 'ol Samuel. Nothing else seemed to be wrong.

Tonight I was gone for about an hour setting up for my MOPS meeting tomorrow. I noticed when I pulled up to our place that the bathroom light was on. That is usually odd because the bathroom that faces the parking lot the kids use. We don't usually use it much. I get upstairs and my husband says, "Ohh just in time." I didn't realize what he was talking about until I walked in. Genevieve had just got sick and it was all over the bathroom floor. Yea me! That has been about 2 1/2 hours now, and although she is resting right now beside me on the sofa, she has been up several times to get sick. Change that, she just got back again from the bathroom.

While I don't mind being up with the kids when they are sick, it does make for a really long night, and an even longer next day. See the other one isn't up all night and will not want to sleep late like us. He will be up bright and early at 7 calling for Momma and his Pop Pop. I just can hope that he won't mind lounging on the sofa with his sister and I to watch cartoons or a movie.

Needless to say this is one part of the Momma job I hate. Until recently I hadn't been getting a lot of sleep. Samuel was up a lot, and I still woken up at least once a night. I hadn't had a full nights sleep since he was born. However, it seems like recently (maybe like for a couple of months) he has been sleeping all night. Nine out of ten nights I am not needed once the kids go to bed at their bedtimes. They go to sleep, I hang out with my husband for a couple of hours, we go to bed, and then we all wake up. It has been a great change. It is one I got use to very quickly. Now when I have to be up with the kids, it makes it ten times harder.

It's late now, and I just am going to go on and on about crazy things now. I will just end while I'm ahead (Genevieve laying next to me on the sofa asleep), and try and get some rest too. Sleep tight blogger world :)

Right Place, Right Time

2010-03-14T18:39:00.003+01:00

If you have been reading my lack of blogging for very long, you know that I feel that I usually end up where I need to be when I need to be there. We have always felt blessed with our duty stations (even if the job wasn't the best) for one reason or another. Even when being there deals us a blow or two, we have always trusted that God knows what he is doing, and we can handle it with his help.

I didn't come across this attitude on my own. My parents always felt this way when I was younger. My Dad decided to go back to school in the early 90s. He felt like he was being called into the ministry. So we moved from our home in Kansas, and moved to Texas. After that, my parents always said they trusted that God would put them in the right place. It really did work out to be that way. We were always in the right place for the time we were there. So by first hand experience, I too believe the same thing.

Needless to say, today was one of those days. It wasn't a move, but it was simply being put into a place to hear a few things I needed to hear. That's right, I went to church :p Church has been a touchy subject for us here. We usually find a church home wherever we are. However, since we have moved here, we have not. We have tried a couple, and they were just not a good fit for us. It's not like we can just go to any church due to the language issues. The churches we have tried so far have not been for us. That's pretty much the long and short of it.

Today we finally made the leap to try out the last church on our list. I am not sure why today was the day. I mean we have been here for almost a year and a half. Why today? Well I will tell you. Because God had a message I needed to hear today. I thought it was funny that when I showed up and looked at the hymns we were singing that my Grams' favorite song was on the list. It makes my heart happy when I hear her song. So I was already in a good mood and ready to listen a little more than before I showed up.

The message was one I'm very familiar with. I'm sure you are too. It was on the story of the Prodigal Son. I have heard this story so many times. I can tell you what the story is, and I can break it down for you too. However, today it was broken down in a way I haven't thought about before. The pastor really wanted us to look at the story from the point of view of the 3 main characters. Then he asked us to think how we could identify with them. I think it is easy to identify with the youngest son. I have been in places in my life where I have done things I'm not real proud of. I have been a person that I don't like. I have sinned and lived a life how I wanted even though it wasn't pleasing to God. I felt what it was like to hit the bottom. I felt what it was like to have to come back to the Father and ask him to forgive me. I felt the joy when I realized that no matter what I had done, God loved me anyway.

The part that really took me by surprise is when he asked us to look at and identify with the oldest son. Now I hadn't really thought about the oldest son much before now. I really didn't give him much thought. The pastor told us to think about if there was a time in our life where we had everything together on the outside. We have done everything we were asked of and done everything that we should. We have stood by our father and helped him no matter what the cost. Then all of a sudden your younger brother comes home, and all you have is resentment and anger inside you. Here you have done everything, and your brother shamed your family. He comes home, and now he gets a party. How do you deal with that?

Well I will tell you that I haven't been dealing with that well. I have carried some resentment in my life for a long time. There has been an ongoing situation in my life that I just could not let go. I would get angry just by the slightest mention of the situation. Now I see the story from a whole new light. I can really relate with this older brother. I know exactly how he felt. I tell you what...It sucks!

Then the pastor went on to say that we can change those feelings with remembering the grace we get. The father in the story told the oldest All that I have is yours. His work and loyalty were not taken away from him. His father was just happy to have his son back the same way God was happy to have me back even after all I had done.

So I have learned today that I need to let go of the resentment in my life. I need to remember that I once was the youngest son (and sometimes I still can be). I need to remember that while being in the shoes of the older brother too, that I am really thankful to have a Father who loves me unconditionally.

Thank you God for such amazing moments in my life!

Light at the End of the Tunnel

2010-03-11T11:13:00.002+01:00

Recently I have been thinking about the possibility of more kids. I won't ever tell you that I don't love little babies. I absolutely do. Little babies are my weakness. I love the cuddly little babies that just cuddle up to you. It's an amazing thing. My husband made the mistake of saying to me, "You know, if we had a little more money I'd love to have another baby. I miss having a little one around." *insert big eyes here* What?! I was always 100% sure he was done.

However, just like at the beginning, we are split on this. Before we decided to have Genevieve we'd switch off on who had baby fever. First he would and I couldn't even think about it. Then I'd wear down and really love the idea, he wouldn't want kids. It took us almost 4 years of marriage to be on the same page. We always knew Samuel would come quickly after, but never really planned on any more. I always liked the idea of more kids, but just like at the start, I have not worn down, and I feel like our family is complete.

A couple of days ago, we were able to eat lunch alone. I told him I was really surprised that he was feeling like he wanted to add to our little family of four. He said he had just thought about it from time to time. I explained to him that right now I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can almost reach out and feel the warmth. I'm right there. It seems like the last step is to get Samuel potty trained. It would seem like then that the baby days would be over. I then told my husband that I wasn't so happy to jump back to the end of the tunnel and start over with the up all night, solids, sippy cups, etc.

I guess I could be talked into it eventually if he were serious. I do love those little ones so much to over look all that junk that goes with them. However, I'm looking so much to the future. I am ready for the next stage of our lives. I'm ready to move on with having young children at home and not babies. I'm ready for the days when we can travel without pack n plays, diaper bags, strollers, etc. I am ready to go have fun with my kids and do things that are harder to do with babies. I find this very selfish, and I'm not sure if I even care. I'm ready to move on to a new phase of life, and I'm looking forward to it.

So I will resort to holding other people's babies, and see where that gets me. Maybe I need to have a few over for my husband to hold too.

Having a Baby on a Plane

2010-02-23T10:45:00.003+01:00

If we were playing Jeopardy the question would be, "What are two things that stink by themselves and would really blow together?" I came to this conclusion my last trip back and forth.

So on our most recent trip to the US, I realized that the long process of flying international with children (for me alone usually) was closely related to labor. I know what you are thinking. You wonder how two things that are totally different can be related in my head. Well it's your lucky day because I'm going to tell you :)

When I was in labor with Genevieve it was long (16 hours), hard, hurt, etc. Any woman who's been in labor knows what I'm talking about. It takes everything you have to get through it. It is so uncomfortable. I was in so much pain with Genevieve, I couldn't really sleep. My epidural wore off in the middle of labor, and I was dealing with the monster contractions I was having. However, when all was said and done, I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms and couldn't be happier.

When I had Samuel things seemed much easier. I wonder if it was due to knowing what was coming. I was only in labor about 8 hours, and a couple of those were spent just waiting for the doctor to get done with surgery so she could be there. They knew from the time before that once I started to push, it really didn't take long. So she wanted to be ready to go before I started to push. After my water broke, I had horrible back labor. It was one of the worst pains I have felt. However, once the epidural was in, I was fine. I got a few hours of sleep even. Like the first time, by the time it was over, I had a wonderful baby boy in my arms, and it was all worth it.

So how does this relate to my international flights? Well just like this. I realized this trip home that the trips home (on the planes) is like labor. It is hard, no sleep, it down right hurts at times. The trip is long. The trip is hard. The kids don't always sit well for that long, and who would. However at the end of the long day in airplanes, it is worth it. We are either to the US and can't wait to see family and friends, or we are home and ready to get back to our lives.

I'm hoping that as the kids get older the trips don't remind me of labor so much. I am guessing that will be the case. As I tell everyone, my saving grace is that Genevieve loves to fly, listens well, and really doesn't need a lot of one on one time on the plane. The fact that she gets her own TV, cool food that they bring her, and a seat to herself keeps her pretty much happy. For that I am very thankful.

We did make it home from our trip back. It was a long day, and I'm pretty much set on being in Germany for a few more months. I am NOT ready to get back on a plane anytime soon. :) We had a great visit with family and friends. It was nice to see old friends while I was home. I never really realized how much it stinks when you only get to see them once a year and sometimes less than that. All I have to say is thank goodness for the internet :)

For those that sent prayers and thoughts and vibes my way while I was traveling, THANK YOU. I could feel them on my trip. For the most part Samuel did as well as any 2 year old really could. He had his moments, but nothing like it could have been. I keep hoping that things will continue to get better with him and soon it won't be something I dread so much. Maybe it saves money this way because I'm never in a hurry to make that trip :)

I really wonder if I'm the only parent that feels this way? I don't know a lot of people who travel internationally. Some that I do know have given me great advice. However, I wonder if everyone else dreads flights as much as I do. I wonder sometimes if I am being a baby about it. People ask me all the time how and why I do it. It really is simple. I refuse to be held back. I want my kids to feel comfortable, and I want to be able to travel with the kids. I want to be able to do this no matter where I am. I don't ever want to feel like I'm stuck some place. It really is just that simple.

I also need to take a moment (even though I have no clue who he is, and I know he will never read this) to thank a nice man who helped me more than he knows. When we got to Germany, a couple of people helped me off the plane with my kids and stuff. When I got to baggage claim the man saw me again, and came over to load my bags on the cart for me. Realizing (and relieved I think) that I wasn't taking a train or anything, he offered to push the bags to the van for me. He helped me all the way out to our van. I really am thankful for people like this. I could have made it, but it would have been hard. He really made my morning, and I'm thankful for him.

Overall, it was an amazing trip home. We all had a great time, and we got to see and do a lot. All that said, I'm so glad to be home. I missed this place, my home, my friends, my HUSBAND, etc. I am resting up and trying to forget the long process so I will be okay buying my tickets and heading home in June. We aren't headed all the way back to family, but we are going to Nashville to be with my sister while she has her own baby. The kids are ready for a cousin (Genevieve wants to name the baby Peanut Banana Pants), and I'm ready to see and spend time with Sarah again.

Like Old Times

2010-01-31T02:22:00.002+01:00

My trip has been fun so far. I have done so much in such a short amount of time. It seems like that is the way it always is when I'm visiting home. Of course I don't come home that often, and I'm not able to see people on a regular basis. That makes for time home to be full of visiting with friends and family. I like it that way because it makes the time go quickly. Thirty days doesn't always seem like a lot, but boy is it at times. When you pack it full of visits, trips, and fun stuff, it makes it go much quicker.

This past week was a blast from the past. A friend of mine came to see me. I haven't seen her in about 3 1/2 to 4 years. It's amazing how fast that time can go. It really doesn't seem like it has been that long. Her husband and my husband were stationed at Ft Riley at the same time. She lived in the apartment above me. We spent a lot of time together at first by default. Both our husbands were deployed at the same time. We would go eat dinner together (much nicer doing dinner with friends than alone), shopping, movies, etc. We were really close by the end of the deployment. We have stayed in contact for all these years (7 years).

My friend and I really enjoyed the time without the kids. We went to many movies. We had a total movie experience. We saw a movie the regular way, on 3D IMAX, and then in a luxury theater. They had big leather recliners, and they gave you $15 in food credit. Nothing beats dinner and a movie when they are together and in one place.

I still have a lot to do while I'm home. It seems like the kids and I have been back for a month already with everything we've done. We still have a couple of weeks to go. I'm ready to get home and go back to "normal." I am ready to have my husband back. I don't even need the help with the kids, I just want to have him around. I'm sure most of us can relate or understand. However ready I am to go home, I am still very excited for the rest of my time here. I can't wait to spend time with my best friend, and I still have a hair appointment left. I know it will be a bittersweet day when it is time to get back on the plane and make my journey back across the ocean to home.

Just for You (you know who you are)

2010-01-25T18:27:00.003+01:00

So I was told by a friend that reads my blog that I need to do more updates :) I didn't realize anyone really read my blog on a regular basis, and I'm so happy that some do. So this one is for you...you know who you are.

Things with our family have been good. After the crazy couple of months that include Thanksgiving, two birthdays, and Christmas we have calmed down a bit. We just got things at the house back to normal, and then it was time for the kids and I to make a trip back to the US. I know that those that know me know how much I hate flying. I really do. My husband was laughing at me this trip. He saw that I didn't eat much the night before, and he noticed I took a sleeping pill before bed. He said he honestly didn't realize that I hated it that much. Not only did I have the fear of the flight itself, but also the last trip with the kids back was still fresh in my mind even though it was over 8 months ago. I don't think anyone would forget a horrible trip like that. I was terrified of a repeat.

The morning went well at the airport, and we didn't have too many issues getting to our gate and on the plane. Both kids were really excited about the plane and getting on it. However when the jets roared to life, it scared Samuel really bad. He started to cry, but I got him calmed down pretty quick. A friend of mine let me use a DVD player she had. That thing saved my life. It had a 7 hour charge to it. The flight was 8 1/2 hours long. We didn't use it when he was napping, eating, or walking around. It saved just enough time on it for our second flight while we were waiting to pull back from the gate.

I still got off the plane tired, looking like I had been through a fight, and ready to be in a bed. The biggest change was that I did not have to deal with a child that was screaming the whole time. I keep hoping that it will be the same when we go back. I am hoping I didn't use up all my luck this trip.

We got back a week ago, and we have already packed a lot into a week. When we first got here, my cousin was here with her kids. Her older girl and Genevieve are the same age apart as my cousin and I. We watched the girls as they played and did stuff together. It was like looking at us when we were little. They really had a great time, and I wish we could get them together more often. We have also done a little shopping at those stores we can't go to in Germany (i.e. WalMart, Target, etc). We have had fun being with family, and we even made Pappy cupcakes for his birthday yesterday.

This week is going to be fun for me. I'm headed up to Kansas City to see a friend of mine. We are going to enjoy several days of kid free fun. I really can't wait. I will for sure keep you posted of what all fun we find to get ourselves into.

Sabbatical Over?

2009-12-21T22:31:00.004+01:00

I can say I have been horrible recently about keeping up with my blog. I feel horrible. It's been a good couple of months now. That's pretty bad. However, like everyone else out there, this is a crazy time of year for us. We not only have the normal Thanksgiving and Christmas mess, but we also have two birthdays in the middle of it all. It makes for one busy time of year.

Genevieve turned 4 this year on November 30. I can't believe my first born is 4 years old now. When did she grow up to be such a young lady? She has been going to Preschool since May now. She loves it and now has two best friends. She was very excited to have her very first real Birthday Party. It was nothing amazing. We just rented out a room at the Bowling Alley here on post. Her friends got tokens for the machines, and they played on the play house. They loved the pizza and cake, and went back for my playing. They played so much she didn't even have time to open her gifts at the party. We took her to school right after it was over, and she opened gifts that night after dinner. She got a lot of really cool stuff, and still loves playing with it all. She's so grown up. I was thinking about the holiday next year (we are starting to maybe plan a big trip back home), and it was hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that she was going to be 5 in a year. Soon it will be time for real school. HOLY COW!

Samuel celebrated his 2nd birthday tonight. To say it's been an easy year is a total lie. He has been such a handful, and he's been very hard to deal with at times. He has had some issues with speech delay, and he was enrolled in an early intervention program to help him. I'm happy to report that with 6 months of work, he is now more than caught up, and he's actually advanced for his age now. He went from no words and only grunts 6 months ago to full blown sentences now. His new one is "Mommy, I want shoes." Then it will go on to shirt, pants, socks, shoes, etc. It just keeps going. Even with all the tantrums he throws, he is a joy. He makes me laugh all the time. Look at that face!! Just when I'm thinking I can't take something, he makes the goofiest face, and everything just goes away. I'm getting ready to *think* about potty training him. It takes me thinking about it for awhile for me to actually start. I want to have him ready to go so when he has his birthday next year, he can start Preschool too.

Other than that, life has been probably a lot like yours. It's busy, crowded, and full of anything and everything. I love this time of the year, but boy am I glad when it's over. It just seems like time goes so quickly and is so packed. I will be ready for "normal" again.

OOPS!

2009-10-24T21:16:00.004+02:00

I made a really big oops tonight. I totally forgot that tonight is Daylight Savings Time here. It happens earlier than in the US, and it had slipped my mind. That being said, I didn't even try and keep the kids up any earlier to try to help them get on track. We have had a full day.

Today we had our MOPS Fall Council at the church. People from groups all over Europe came so we could have a training day. They provided child care, and we met in the next room. It was a lot of fun, and I learned a few new things. I think it is always nice to learn something in a new light than you saw it before.

Because of this, the kids and I were up early. I had to be there by 8, so we were up before 7. Mainly I was up before 7. I wanted to make sure I could get dressed and ready without the kids being up. Just as I was finishing up though, Samuel woke up. I got him ready, and about that time Genevieve was up. So it worked out nice. They both didn't want to leave though because they were enjoying Clifford on TV. They were glad when we got there though. They always enjoy playing at the church with their MOPS friends.

Everyone please cross your fingers that my kids don't get up too early now :)

A Big, No HUGE Announcement!

2009-10-20T10:53:00.002+02:00

I found out some wonderful news a couple of weeks ago. It is that kind of news that is life changing. When I found out, I was amazed, shocked, and just couldn't believe it. I've been waiting for a long time for this news, that I just almost couldn't believe it. The evening went kind of like this.

I was sitting at my computer after getting the kids to bed. I got a message on my Facebook to call my sister. This isn't uncommon since no one really calls me from the US. I have an international number, and it is free for me to call home, but not the other way around. I think everyone I know is about saving money, and we are in the same place. Why pay for another phone service just so we can have a US number?

So I picked up the phone and called her. I was thinking it was about a Mario Kart date or something. Instead I got some really awesome news. I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE! I have been waiting for a long time to enter into Auntie-hood. So, congrats to my sister and her husband. I can't wait to hold that lil darling and spoil them only the way an Auntie can.

How Momma Got Her Groove Back

2009-10-19T20:51:00.003+02:00

So I have finally got into the groove of life with my husband gone. It is always a learning curve for me at the first. Those of you that know me in real life know I am not always the most motivated person when it comes to housework. I do it because I have to, but I never WANT to do it. I'm sure 90% of people out there agree. I have a hard time staying motivated to do it though when my husband is gone (you know the whole no one to be accountable to). So today I think I have kind of got back into my groove.

Now my kids aren't living in filth or anything like that. However, I do not put away toys every night. I do not load and wash the dishes every night. I get them done once a day, and the dishwasher has yet to fill up. I think it is just something that is hard to keep up with when you are playing a role as a single mom. For me, I choose my battles and limits.

All that said, I have started to pick up on the number of things I feel like doing. Today I have done several loads of laundry (including the sheets that are in the dryer as I type), dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and did some light cleaning. Tomorrow I need to get a bit done. I have friends coming over for soup, and I need to vacuum and things like that.

Now onto soup :) I love soup. I don't make a lot of soup in the summer months due to the heat. However, it is cold enough now to really make soup. There is something about soup that really just makes me feel all warm and cozy inside. So since it has been colder, I have been in the mood to make it. I can't eat a whole pot myself, so I asked a friend, her sister, and her two kids over for soup this week. I can't wait to pull out my big pot and start making it. There is just something about a pot of soup that simmers on the stove all day.

So pretty pointless tonight. I just am glad that I'm getting the hang of things, and that I'm going to make soup this week. That's all :)

My Tuba is NOT Playing

2009-10-15T20:06:00.003+02:00

Have you ever read that poem by Shel Silverstein called What A Day? That poem pretty much has summed up my day today. The link has a cute picture to it, but if you don't want to click, here is the poem.

What a day,
Oh what a day.
My baby brother ran away,
And now my tuba will not play.
I'm eight years old
And turning grey, Oh what a day, oh what a day.

So today was a mess. It started pretty good, but real quick. It seemed like when we got up, we were hitting the road running. We had to go pay the phone bill this morning so we just decided to get a few things at the PX there. While at the PX, Samuel decided he wanted to step up on the diapers in the cart and over the side he went. Thank goodness he had his big winter coat on, and he didn't hit his head. It took us a bit to calm down, but it turned out okay.

Due to lunch out, running errands, and an unexpected gate check, Genevieve was late to school this afternoon. She seemed to just go right in and do her daily routine alone. When she gets to school she has a routine they do. First she goes in and goes to the bathroom, then she must wash her hands, answer the question of the day, and then she signs her name. After all those things are done, she can sit down at the tables and play or do the activities on them. As a mom who likes having a schedule for her children, I like that she knows what to expect when she gets there.

After school was over, we had a pretty relaxed evening. It was completed with dinner for the kids and bath time. They both went to bed without too much of a fight. They both go to hourly care late morning tomorrow. I'm looking forward to running the errands I have to alone :) Grocery shopping is always better when I don't have to drag the kids along with me. Here's to a great night and a better day tomorrow!

Lack of Updates, Trips, and BFFs

2009-10-14T22:57:00.003+02:00

So I know it has been forever and a day since I have been on here updating everyone to the mundane things going on in my family's life. It's been a crazy few weeks, and maybe things will slow down for at least a little bit. I doubt it though. This is the time of the year when life just seems to fly by. I think that is true for just about everyone with the holiday season, but I also have both kid's birthdays in there too. It's a crazy time of year.

So since I have updated last, I have made a huge step in life. I went on a trip back to the US for the MOPS convention. The best part of the trip...no kids. That's right, I went on a trip without my kids. The woman I went with and I were so excited about our first flight without our kids, we chatted the whole first 3/4 of the flight. Then we got in a movie before they served the snacks and turned off the movie system. The convention itself was amazing. I had a great time, and I got so much useful information. It was great to get away, and it was even better to see that the kids, husband, and house could survive without me. It makes me ready to plan my next trip.

Since I have been back, I have been busy trying to get the kids to realize I'm not going away again. Genevieve has been really bad. She has been waking up in the middle of the night just to make sure I'm there. I think she is getting better about it, but it was rough going for a bit there. Samuel was extra clingy, but he's also calmed down. I think it was good for both the kids and their Dad. He seemed to come away with a new respect for what I do around here. It's always nice to hear that. Since I have been back, he's also been really good about helping out more. Double score!

Genevieve has been doing good in school. She has her routine set, and loves it. She has also found her very first BFF. :p Her and her friend are always together. Out of that, her mom and I have also become friends. It has been nice having someone else to talk to and hang out with.

So in a nut shell nothing amazing has been going on, but life has been going full force. Now that I'm home and have time in the evening, I hope to update more.

The Week's Over?!

2009-09-19T22:51:00.003+02:00

So it seemed like one of those weeks. Everything was busy and everything crazy. I can't even remember how the week started, but I'm sure it was crazy :) I remember needing to go to a store on Tuesday but having an appointment for Samuel. I was so very thankful that Ms. Carol (his speech therapist) called that morning to ask if it was still a good time to meet. Thankfully we rescheduled to the end of the week.

Wednesday started very quickly. I had a meeting at 9 that morning. I woke up a little late (hit the snooze one too many times). In the rush to get everyone ready, I pulled off Genevieve's nightgown to find a nice big rash all over her stomach and back. If you know how my insurance works, you have to call in and make an appointment on a central number. They book for everything. If you call in to book something that you need looked at, you better hope they have something. They usually only schedule appointments for the day that it is. I have been able to talk my way into getting appointments the next day if it was less than 24 hours out. When they picked up the phone, they let me know they had an 8:45 or a 11:00. I knew that she shouldn't be in childcare at my meeting without knowing it was okay. So I took the early one. Little did I realize I only had 20 mins to get there and get checked in. Where we live, it takes at least a good 15 mins to get there.

The doctor was sure it wasn't contagious, but said it would be best to keep her out of the CDC for her preschool class just because of how bad it looked. I agreed, and we all took naps that afternoon. The next morning the kids both had appointments for their CDC renewal. The doctor we saw is the "rash expert" at the clinic, and he said it was indeed only Hives. He gave us a note so she could go back to school that afternoon. SCORE!

Yesterday I spent the day trying to get the stink out of Samuel's Diaper Champ. I love the Champ, but I can't stand how yucky it smells. A friend of mine who is OCD cleaning lady gave me a few options. I mixed a couple of them. So I spent the afternoon rubbing the Champ down with Odor Eraser Dawn and letting it sit. After 3 goes at that, and used some cleaner with bleach on it. If I stick my nose down the hole the diapers go in, you can still smell a hint of the nasty that was there. However, his room doesn't stink anymore, and the bathroom we have it in doesn't either. I'm guessing it is as good as it is going to get.

I also spent the day trying to get a jump start on the cleaning I know I need to do next week before my trip. I always try and keep things going in the week, but I always try and do a bit more when I'm going to be gone. However, when I go I usually take the kids. This time I am having to think about diapers, food, etc. It should be and has been a learning experience.

Our weekends are pretty lazy, and today wasn't any different. I tried to stay in my PJ pants as much as possible. We went over to the PX to grab a few things, but it didn't take more than an hour. We had pizza for dinner, so no cooking involved. I'm looking forward to tomorrow because there will be a good breakfast followed by time lounging on the sofa. The only thing that is going to really stink about tomorrow is all the laundry I have to fold. I sure wish the laundry folding fairy would show up tonight and surprise me.

What Has the World Come To?

2009-09-14T00:06:00.002+02:00

If you know me, you might know that I really don't care for Halloween. I did as a child growing up, but since, not so much. As the years ticked away into my adulthood, I became upset by the "kids" who would be out. It didn't seem so much like there were children out roaming around wanting to fill their bags, but it seemed more like older teens who just wanted to cause problems. I had passed out candy on a few occasions only to get looked at like, "this is it lady?!" I spent Halloween in Chicago, and it was bad. My roommate and I sat out on our stairs (you had to be buzzed in to even get to our door, so we sat outside to pass out candy) that year. As we were out there, the cute little kids came by, but there were more of the big kids out. The public transportation was covered in toilet paper, eggs, etc. As the eggs started coming our way, that was it. No more Halloween for me.

With that said, I have never even thought about my kids going out for Halloween. When we lived in Oklahoma, she was really too little. She was less than 2, and I didn't think she needed to be out. She didn't understand or care. It was also bedtime, so we just skipped it. Last year however, her Daddy told me that I really needed to take her out. Against everything in me, I agreed. We didn't really dress her up too much. We got one of those princess dress up dresses from another family, and we put her in that. It wasn't a Halloween costume by any means. She didn't get a choice. She just had to go in that or not at all. She didn't really get it at first, but then when she realized what was going on, she totally got into it. It was nice for her, but I still could have cared less.

Fast forward to today. Today we officially bought our kids first Halloween costumes. I'm glad I decided to pull them out and try them on the kids. Genevieve has decided to be a ladybug. It's a very cute ladybug at that. I am needing to find a long sleeved leotard to put under it. Other than that, it is going to work out nice. We picked out a pirate costume for Samuel. We got the 24 months to 2T. The hole they expected him to fit in to put it on wouldn't even fit around both his legs. So I will be off tomorrow morning to exchange it for the bigger size. Good thing we decided to try them on tonight instead of waiting.

So there will be pictures to come in the next month. I have put them away though because Genevieve wants to play in her's really bad. I don't mind that, but I don't want anything to happen to it before. After the big night, she can play in it until the cows come home. I guess now my husband can leave me alone. I'm not a downer anymore. My kids have costumes, and they are going out on Halloween night.

Wow!

2009-09-12T23:38:00.002+02:00

Can you believe we have lived in Germany a year now?! I was thinking about it the other day. A year ago we had loaded up our van and headed to Dallas. My wonderful cousin Mandi had opened her home to us and let us use it as our last station before the big flight. I remember so well the night before. I remember the calls to DFW, and all the planning we had done. I remember the nerves of that night. The fears and wondering what a 10 hour flight with the kids would be like. I also remember how it all turned out to not be a big deal at all. The trip to the gate (with Mandi's help) was very easy. The kids did very good on the flight, and we made it safe and sound. A couple of things I want to really reflect on though.

First I remember what it was like to get off the plane and head out of the airport for the first time. The smells were so different than anything I had smelled at airports around the US. Smells always seem to be something that strike me when visiting some place. It's the first of my senses I use. I remember that the weather was a bit warmer than I had planned for. I had wore a long sleeved jacket, and I had to take it off when installing the car seats into the van. I remember how foreign the landscape looked. The tree covered hills and mountains to the right were not something I was use to seeing. All the signs on the road in German scared me to death. I knew I'd have to recognize them so I could drive sometime. I remember thinking about being on the Autobahn was crazy. Then I saw a Toys R Us and thought "They have one of those here?"

Our first time on post was kind of the same. It was so different to see how things were set up overseas as compared to back home. Things were split up, and it was weird not to have total access to everything in one area. I remember wondering if I would feel at home soon or not. I remember how crazy our jet lag was that first week living in the hotel. I also remember how big our 1000 sq ft apartment looked with nothing in it.

It's hard to believe that it has already been a year. I have made several trips to the airport on my own now. While I still look out the windows from time to time the landscape is nothing new. I love the tree covered hills, but they have lost their wonder. The roads are not scary to me any more. I am pretty comfortable driving anywhere as long as I have my GPS. Since getting my license over here I have driven in not only Germany but also Austria. I still can't tell you what all the German signs mean, but I know the basic idea.

We have been to festivals, theme parks, castles, and much more in the year that has past. We have made ourselves at home in a place that isn't home at all. I use to think that Germany was probably a lot like the US, and I no do not think that at all. I'm thankful that from time to time someone does speak English. I'm thankful we can find people to work on our van and help us with other things. We have embraced the local food and have grown fond of it. However, we do miss our favorite US places (Texas Roadhouse, Arbys, etc). Our lives have changed so much from just a short year. It is so cute to hear Genevieve to tell everyone she lives in Jer-oh-ma-knee (it use to be Jeremy).

On the day we left Dallas to move here we met a family. We didn't think anything of it at the time because we met a lot of people there who were coming this way. There were probably about 6 or 7 families we met in the airport. This one family though said they were moving to Heidelberg too. I wondered that day if we'd ever run into them or even if we'd get along with them. We saw them on the flight, but after that, we never saw them at the airport in Frankfurt again. Everything was so crazy and busy.

At inprocessing we ran into them again. I asked how they were adjusting, and we talked for a few seconds before we had to run to the next thing. It was a couple days later I wished I would have asked their name or something. My husband said he had run into him on the bus a couple of times and thought that they lived close, but nothing really more than that.

It wasn't until about a month and a half after being here that I ran into them again. I was walking home from getting something to eat with the kids, and they were outside on the sidewalk. I was so excited to see them. I hurried Genevieve up and we caught up with them. We didn't visit for long, but I did find out that they lived in our stairwell. It was then that I realized that we probably should become friends. What were the chances of all those meetings? The next day I packed up the kids and headed over to her apartment to visit with her.

Since that day we have become really good friends. Their family is great to us. I know that if I needed anything they'd be there for me, and the same goes for us. It's amazing how it all worked out. We always joke about how we met and how long it took us to realize that we should be friends. It's been a great year with them though.

I guess you can say we had a good year. We have had family visit, I've been home, and we have seen a lot of things. I just hope that the remaining years will be just as good. Here's to another year as a family living overseas!

I Fell Off the Face of the Earth...Really!

2009-09-05T22:05:00.002+02:00

So it must seem that way. I was so deliberate about blogging every night when I first started my blog a couple of years ago. We were in such a different place life wise then that it worked okay for me. Now it seems as though we are going, going, going. My husband is also around a LOT more than he was when we were back in the US. That is one thing I thank God for all the time...well most of the time.

Being that my husband and I have spent so much time apart and dealing with the long hours, we don't always know how to react to each other. Where we are now though life is totally different than it has been for years. He is home at night for dinner. Shoot, he's even home before dinner. He is around to help with the kids in the late afternoon. He is there to help me tuck them into bed, and he is around to hang out with on the weekends. It is a huge difference from the 12 to 16 hour days 6 days a week from before. This is such a blessing, but it can be hard at times. We are learning to live with each other again. We all seem to be adjusting nicely and 9 times out of 10 we are loving it.

I have sat down to write something for the past couple of nights now. It seems as soon as I get started, something gets in the way. When I get the time to go back to it, I'm not feeling the blog I started. So this is attempt 4 at the same info I have left unfinished.

We have been crazy busy recently. It just seems like there has been so many things to pull together. One of the biggest was the purchase of a new car. Well it's not new, but it is new to us. It is far from new. It is a total (as they call it in the military) beater car. It has no a/c, it has body damage, and it has a TON (260,000 km to be exact) of miles on it. All that said, I really like the car. It is a fun, little sporty car. It's a Nissan 100NX. I have driven it a couple of times, and it drives real nice. The best part about a new car is simply two things. One, it will save us a lot of money on gas. With the gas at almost 3 bucks a gallon here, it isn't fun filling up our van. This will keep us from having to do that as much. The second thing, no more 20 questions at night. We use to have to play the great schedule game. It was so hard to deal with everything. If he had something he had to be gone all day for I had to wake up early (sometimes at 4 am) to take him so I could have the van, or I simply would have to walk. Now I don't have to worry about making appointments or what my schedule has. It has been amazing!

On the list of other things going on...The table and chairs we picked out finally made it over here. I can't believe how much I love it. I had picked out another table, but due to it having pressed wood on the base, I decided to find something else. We found a great deal on a dark oak table and chairs. They are amazing. We got it for a really great buy which makes it even better.

The kids are doing good. Genevieve has been loving school. She is really coming into her own, and growing up too fast. She seems to know more and do more each day. She really isn't my little baby anymore. She loves playing with her friends, and she never wants to leave her school. When she throws those temper tantrums now and then, I always have to remind myself that she is only 3. I can't believe in a few short months she will be 4. The time has just flown by.

Samuel has been cracking me up. He comes up with new things every day to make me laugh. Recently it has been asking him if he wants a hair cut. You ask him if he wants candy and he shakes his head yes and says uh hu. You ask him if he wants to go to baby school same thing. You can ask him as many yes things as you can think of. As soon as you say, "Do you want a hair cut" he's shaking his head no and saying nu uh. He's been doing really good with his speech therapy. I think if he were to be evaluated now he wouldn't even qualify for the program. He's been doing great.

I have been doing pretty good myself. I agreed last year to help out on the steering team of the local MOPS group. I have loved MOPS for awhile now. I started going about 4 months before I had Samuel. That group was so great to me. I miss it so much. This group of ladies that I am with now are amazing in their own way. Anyway, we are starting our season up this next week. I'm so excited to see what the year has in store. It has really been a great way for me to still be a mom and to be Emily too. I'm not all about my kids. I am a woman, and I am developing my own identity outside my kids. I am even going to leave my kids in my husband's very capable hands for 5 days in a couple of weeks. I will be flying back to the states for a MOPS convention. I'm so excited to get this opportunity. I'm also scared to death that my family won't be okay without me. I know they will be. God made this whole trip (which could have been very hard to work out details) very easy. Everything came together so quickly. I feel like it is where I need to be. I just worry because my husband will be here with the kids, and I'm not even going to be close if he needs something. He keeps telling me not to waist the money to turn on the prepaid cell. I really think I just might anyway. We all know how much I worry though :p

I have also been dealing with some medical issues. I went in this past week for a couple of reasons. I thought I had hurt my knee again, so in I went. Come to find out my ankle was more of an issue than my knee. I have also been having very bad headaches. I have had them for YEARS, but when you are pregnant or nursing (which I had been for awhile), there isn't a lot you can take. About 2 1/2 months ago I was put on some meds to try and help out. I didn't realize until after I had got them filled that they were antidepressants. My body hasn't reacted good to them in the past, so I was really worried. I had some big issues at the first, and they never really went away. The headaches seemed to be much better for about a month. I started getting some bad ones again so I brought it up. He wanted to just up my dose, but after I visited with him, he put me on another combo of meds. I have been on them a few days now. They haven't gone away yet, and I'm still trying to get the hang of it (it's a couple of them, and you take them together, alone, whatever you need). So I'm praying that these work.

Now that I have wrote a book, I will end it for tonight. See if I would write more often I wouldn't have to go on and on for days. Maybe I'll learn my lesson...and maybe not :)

A Whole New Look

2009-08-23T19:44:00.002+02:00

So it's been awhile since I changed my blog look. It was time for a change. I just can't stand having things the same for a really long time. We move our living room around about once or twice a month. We would move our bedroom around too, but there is really only one way to fit all that stuff in 250 sq ft. So the living room gets the makeover all the time.

I have been going through a lot of changes in my life recently, so I thought it was only right to change my online "life" too. The women in my online Bible Study this summer have been amazing. I have gotten close to a few women and made some really good friends. It's hard to do that when you are always moving, and since we have all been through some of the same life experiences, it really brings you together.

I don't know if I have wrote about this or not, so if I have, just skip over it :p I have taken the Hospitality role over in our local MOPS group. MOPS is something that is near and dear to my heart. I love MOPS. I love that women who are in the same place in life can get together and have fun. I love that we all share something in common (mom's of preschool children) and all sleep deprived. Anyway, we start our meetings soon, and I'm excited to get started.

So life is changing and life is good.

I Found One...For Free!

2009-08-17T14:48:00.002+02:00

So I love my new quest to find things for free. It has been a fun game for me to play. I told you in the last post that this game all started because I am on the hunt for two things. So today I pulled up into the Recycle Center, and sure enough a microwave! It isn't the coolest looking one, but if it works, it is still a microwave. I am looking for a few things for a couple of families that will be moving here in the next few months. I know how hard it is to pick up and move across the ocean. I know the challenges that come with that. As the wife of their sponsor, I want to make their move as smooth as possible. This is just something I can do to help. So there it is. My free thing of the week. Maybe I'll luck out and find a TV this week too.

No One Died?!

2009-08-16T19:57:00.002+02:00

Ever since the kids have been around, they have been in my care. My mom has taken Genevieve for me a couple of times, but that is it. Other than that, I've never spent a night without my kids. I think you can imagine my worry this weekend when I was gone overnight for a MOPS planning retreat.

I am so blessed that my husband felt he was up to the task of taking the kids alone overnight. I got them ready for bed and in their jammies before he dropped me off. I had my cell on me, so I wasn't too worried...until I realized I didn't have service in the house...oops. Before I noticed, I did have a wonderful dinner and chat with the new team. I haven't ever been on a MOPS planning team. I am so excited. It was an amazing weekend.

I did wonder how my kids and husband were doing a few times a day, but I refrained from calling. I figured he had my number, and it was time for me to let go. I know my husband is totally capable of caring for our children. So it was a great test for me to let them be alone and do something for me.

I have really been trying to reach for something that isn't all about my kids. This next year I really want to work on that. I am a person too. I am not my kid's and they aren't my whole life. I think I will be much happier when I can find out who I am and do things for me. This was a good test for me.

So, I am happy to report that everyone was alive and well when I got home late on Saturday evening. No one was hanging by their toes, and my husband wasn't tied up to a chair. I am so happy that I had this opportunity. The big test will come next month when I leave him with the kids for 5 whole days alone. Please say lots of prayers for all of us.

It Was All FREE

2009-08-11T19:59:00.002+02:00

So I think I need to make a weekly post of the things I got for free during the week. I have come across many things in the past two weeks that I got for free. So here goes the last two weeks...

Last week I lucked onto something. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw it. If you keep up with me, you know I have been starting to use coupons a lot. Well, I was walking up and down the isles, and I stumbled on Lunchables for 19 cents each. They weren't the fancy ones at all. Just the meat, cheese, and cracker ones. Still 19 cents each put them at about 80 cents for 4 of them. I did some looking and I came across 4 coupons for $1.00 off any 4 lunchables. So I got paid 20 cents for every 2 I bought. I looked real funny walking around with so many, but I couldn't pass up being paid to eat Lunchables.

This week's find...A leather arm chair. We have a light colored sofa, and this chair pretty much matches it. I found it at the local Reuse Center. We are required to recycle here (yes, they do come around and search our trash). So they have a big Recycle Center here. As part of that, they have a building that they use to put items in that still work or could be of some use to people. We always take things, but we don't always bring things home. I have been up there a lot recently because I am in search of two certain things.

My husband is a sponsor for two families coming up. I know that two things we desperately missed were our TV and our microwave. They are things you don't even really think about when moving. I know I didn't even think twice about them when we were getting things packed up. So I am on a quest. I want to find the two items to have on hand so people can use them if they find themselves in the same situation as I did.

So that's my finds for the past couple of weeks. I'll keep you updated on finds as I get them.

After Seven LONG Years...

2009-08-11T10:17:00.006+02:00

We finally arrived! You read it right. My husband and I have not been on a REAL vacation in over seven years. We have never actually taken one. So when family came over to Germany this summer to visit, we figured it was time.

I found a resort down south that was a military resort. They give discounted rates (depending on rank), and they have a lot to do. They run a travel company right out of the bookstore so you can go on day trips (by bus) to different locations. You can also go in and get the information on the places they are going, the address, etc so you can go on the trips by car if you wish too. I really enjoyed it, and I am guessing we will be back before we leave Germany.

We spent a week down in Garmisch and the surrounding areas. The first full day there we went on a tour as a family. Here we all are on the bus getting ready to go. We were headed to a cheese factory and Ettal Monastery. They were both a lot of fun, and our tour guide was taken aback when Genevieve yelled out, "Where's the cheese?" She was so ready to get there and eat cheese. After she tried some of it, she didn't really want any. Samuel did decide he loved the yogurt though.

The next day we decided to go it alone and try our luck at finding our own fun. When looking at the cost of the Zoo tour, it was going to cost us almost $200 to ride the bus up there and do things on their schedule. So we got a map to the Zoo in Munich, and took off that direction. They had a few issues with the parking (there was construction right in front of the parking garage), but we finally found a place on the side of the road to park. It was probably about a mile away, but no big deal. It was free :p

We spent the day with the kids looking at all the animals, admiring the differences in American and German zoos, and having fun together. Mom and Dad joined us on this trip, and they had a good time watching the kids get excited about the animals they found and saw. Genevieve had just spen the week before in school learning about zebras, and she was very excited to see them. She also loved looking at the elephants. When we got to a genuie pig exibit, she looked in there and said, "Look Mom! It's Snickerdooodle's Momma!" (Snickerdoodle is a genuie pig in her classroom.)

On Thursday, we road the bus again. This was a trip we didn't want to make on our own. We headed with Sarah and Sergei to Neuschwanstein Castle. We had a great time here too. Samuel was very tired for the tour so I didn't get to hear much of it due to keeping him behind because of crying. What I saw was amazing though. It sits up on a hill. It is about 1 1/2 miles to hike up the hill. We had about 1 1/2 hours before our tour started, so we just walked the hill. It was a hard walk, but we made it just fine. We had tons of time to spare too. After the formal tour, we had to walk down the hill again. Going down was much easier than up. On our trip down Sarah and Sergei joined us (they took the bus up). The whole group met at a cafe to eat, and then we headed home.

Friday Mom, Dad, Sarah, and Sergei all went on the Three Country tour. When looking at the times, it was over 12 hours long. I figured most of that would be on the bus, so we opted out of that one. We instead took the day to just lounge around and have fun. We woke up and hit the breakfast buffet. After that we walked over to the PX. The kids and I shopped while my husband went for a hair cut. We then headed back to the room to let the kids nap. After the nap we went to the pool for an hour or so. The kids loved the pool. It was only 2.5 feet deep on the one end, so both of them could stand up and be above the water. It was a lot of fun for them.

We headed home on Saturday after meeting up for breakfast. The trip home was not complete without the "I gotta go potty!" cry from a child, and someone getting car sick. Both this time just happen to be from Genevieve. She was fine after it all though, and didn't seem to even care except saying "I spit out my cookies" a lot.

Needless to say we had a great time. We realized we shouldn't let seven more years pass before we do it again. If you have Facebook, you can see a few more pictures I posted there of the trip.

I'm Happy Crying

2009-08-03T12:27:00.002+02:00

So several times over the past couple of weeks I have been in tears. My best friend had her baby and right after that my cousin had her baby. God blessed me with wonderful (even though they weren't fun) pregnancies. I did have a few issues with Samuel, but they just made for annoying trips to be put on the monitor. I have always been grateful and felt blessed for this.

My best friend had her baby on July 22 nd (I am a little unsure on the date due to the time change and all that). I was so excited for her to finally go into labor and have her baby. She was so tired (as most of us get) of being pregnant at the end. When I saw the little darling's picture on Facebook, I was in tears. I was so excited for her, and I was so happy that things went well. She has had a few fearful moments, and I have prayed for them a lot. It was so amazing to see the miricale that God gave them. It's always amazing to see that.

My cousin has suffered seven losses. I have cried many times for her and her family. They struggled with everything while trying to add to their family. About 9 months ago we all found out she was pregnant again. She was very hush about it all to start off with. I think everyone understands why. However, the days turned to weeks, and the weeks to months, and I am happy to report she had her baby about the same time as my friend. I was just reading her blog, and I was totally in tears. I have prayed for them so many times, and I have watched her struggle with it all.

I don't know why I am always in tears reading their blogs or seeing pictures from these wonderful women. I am just so excited and happy for them both. I am so amazed at the gift God has given to them. Genevieve saw me a few mins ago and asked why I was sad. I told her I wasn't sad, and she wanted to know why I was crying then. I had to tell her they were happy tears.

Welcome to the world Hailey and Brystol! You are so loved!

Going High Tech

2009-07-13T12:23:00.004+02:00

Probably about 3 or 4 weeks ago I decided that it might be nice to have a PDA. I have had one in the past, but it is really outdated. Shoot, that thing was pretty outdated when I bought it in the first place. I remember using it daily and kept up with it. However, it used AAA batteries instead of the new ones that have a rechargeable one installed. The bulky PDA I could handle. The fact that I lost ALL of my information when the batteries died, I could not. You would have to make sure to sync it before that happened, or you would have to hope you had it written down as a back up. That pretty much sank that PDA after about 10 months of use. I just got tired of it. When I get tired of things, 9 out of 10 times, I just give up on them.

I started looking, and I realized I had no clue what I was looking for. My old PDA was a Palm, so I just started looking there. I found many other brands, but was very hessitant to go with something else. My search took me to our local PX where I realized that NO ONE seems to sale these things anymore. I know it is because everyone who thinks they'd like one get those new high tech phones. I have seen the Blackberry and all those types of phones. I wouldn't mind getting one, and my husband and I even talked about it. After seeing the price of the plans that I'd have to get to use one, I said no thanks. I use a prepaid phone right now, and I don't put very much on it at all. It was cheaper for me to just find a PDA and keep paying for a prepaid phone than to switch to a plan.

Late last week my Palm arrived. I again picked one that I don't think is top of the line. In fact I know it isn't. I didn't want to buy something very expensvie though. I wanted to make the switch and do it without breaking the bank. It is kind of a test run. If it works well, I will probably make the jump when we get back in the states. I have it all set up now and working. I have really enjoyed it.

So I have done it. I am now as high tech as I can be :p I now can carry my whole planner with me in a small little case instead of the big planner I use to have to carry.

Just Another Cryptic Week

2009-07-08T22:39:00.002+02:00

So I know some of you also follow me on my Facebook account. I have been very cryptic for a week or so, and I am sorry I haven't spilled the beans. You know I really wanted to, but I hate when you say something then have to take it all back. So here is me spilling the beans.

I was presented with a chance to do something awesome this week. The people who oversee our MOPS group want to send two people to the convention this year. The only stipulation is that one of the two has to take the coordinator's place when she leaves. There was already one woman who said she'd love to go, and she was sure she'd step into that role. I thought that it would be awesome to go as well. I have really been into MOPS since I was pregnant with Samuel. I found a group in Oklahoma, and fell in love with the idea of the group and the group I had itself. Ever since, I have done more and more with the group. I am taking over a leadership role this next year, and I love giving what I have to that group. There is nothing like moms who are where you are in your life getting together to fellowship. It hasn't been 100% approved for me to go yet, but I have everything in place for it to happen (the current coordinator is on vacation and not able to be online every day right now).

Anyway, it took a lot of prayer and planning. I sure didn't have any hand in it. I know that God was taking care of it all for me. A friend of ours totally stepped up and did more than a friend should. She is taking in my kids for the days that I am gone. What a blessing that is. Not only that, I found out my whole trip will be paid for. This will be the first flight I have made without the kids. It will be awesome! I can't wait to build on who I am as a person and not just me being mom. It has been so hard for me to keep my identity, and I have failed miserably. I feel so bad for letting it get that far, but I have. I know I'm not the first, and I know I won't be the last. This is just one chance I have to get to know myself again and to be just me.

Today has been a day of ah ha God moments. I realized that the Bible Study I am in is totally what I need to be hearing right now. I find it funny because it seems like every time I take a new study, it is meeting me where I am in life and speaking to my heart. I have taken studies on worrying, being a submissive wife (I actually liked that one a lot), book of John, and this recent one is on friendship. I think it is funny how something just as small as friendship could speak to you.

We have only done two lessons, and I can't believe what all I have learned about myself. I realized in the first session that I don't have very many close friends. I have surface friends, but when it comes to those friends who know the good, bad and the ugly of Emily...there aren't a lot. I use to think it was because I moved a lot as a child and now as an adult. However, I'm not so sure it is that way. I have a few friends that I think I could tell anything to, go to the with anything I need, etc and I could count on them. Most people I wouldn't. I have a hard time telling things about myself and going on with most of my "friends." I always figure that you know who your close friends are when you move. The close friends make an effort (and I do too) to stay connected even though you are in totally other parts of the world. Those friends that are just around...you loose touch with them real quick.

Anyway, I don't need to go on and on tonight. It is getting late, and I have to get up and get things ready for Samuel's speech therapy appointment tomorrow morning. Just keep praying that everything else falls into place for the MOPS trip. I would love to head to Nashville for a few days this fall. It will be holy jet lag for just the few days I will be there, but what an awesome experience.

Going, Going, Gone!

2009-07-02T10:38:00.003+02:00

So this week has been really crazy. Thank goodness it is almost over. For me the week has seemed to go very quickly, but I'm sure for others it hasn't. Isn't it funny how things like this are all about ones perspective? When I was young, it seemed like time would go so slow. It would seem like time was always dragging. My birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. They all seemed to come and go, and then the time would drag on until the next year. Now it seems like it is flying by. I can't believe that they year is just about half over. Where is the time going?!

The first of the week started with both the kids at the CDC for the afternoon. I spent the first afternoon alone not doing a darn thing. The second one I spent at the grocery store. Doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but it was nice doing that alone. I had time to stroll at my own pace and really look through my coupon book for the best deals.

Yesterday we took the bike to school. My husband needed the van for the day to take care of a few things. I told him we had no issues with that at all, and we'd be fine. I loaded the kids up on the bike cart, and we took off down the road. We had a good time on the bike. I do fine pulling them, but the hills can be a little rough. I am out of shape so that doesn't help, but it also isn't easy pulling an extra 60 to 70 lbs of weight. I really need to take the bike more often. It really is a nice change of pace.

This morning was spent making an unexpected trip to Frankfurt. My dear friends here had spent the past month in the states visiting home. I was so sad to see them go. We hang out on a regular basis, and we are always talking on the phone. I am glad they got the visit home, but I'm so excited to have them home. We made the trip just fine. It was a nice test run for how things will go when my parents come to visit in a few weeks.

We have a few things planned for the 4 day weekend and the 4th of July. I don't know if we will stay up to watch the fireworks or not. I don't think they are starting to fire them off until 11pm (yes, it doesn't get dark until then). I don't know if the kids will be up for staying up that late or not. I guess we will just have to play it by ear. However, we will still probably go to the festival they are having. They are having street vendor food :) I can't pass up a chance for that.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and 4th of July!

Thank you and Goodnight

2009-06-27T21:22:00.002+02:00

So the last few days have been better. I don't know if it was just getting it all out there that helped, or the many people I know that were praying for me. I'm sure it was more the second, but I think it helped to just spill it all out.

I noticed since Wednesday, that I haven't been as short with everyone. I seem to have a bit more patience. Maybe the kids sensed I needed to have things clam down. Have you ever noticed that about kids? It seems (with mine anyway) when push comes to shove, if I really need them to be good, they are. I remember being home alone (husband was at school) and being really sick. It seems like they understood, and they were really great those days. It seems to have happened again. They really have stayed calm. Samuel did throw a couple of fits, but a few moments alone in his crib did the trick.

So for the rest of my week I spent time trying to stay calm. Sounds silly, but after the first couple of days of the week, I really needed it. I took time to finish my book, keep things cleaned up, and even put my feet up to watch TV when Samuel was napping. To help for the next week, I scheduled a couple of days for Samuel to go to the CDC while Genevieve is in school. I will make sure to get EVERYTHING I need to done before I take them so I can go do whatever I want :) I think I'm going to head over to the PX and just walk around without the kids. I haven't been able to do that in a long time.

I need to spend some time getting our final preparations made for the family's vacation. We are staying at a military resort down south. I need to make sure I get our day trips reserved, and I need to get a rental car set up. We have enough room for just about everyone. We are short spaces for two people. Well really just one, but it wouldn't be comfortable with that seating. So, we will get a small car to go with us. That way we know we have room for everyone's stuff, and space for everyone to sit comfortably. This will be our first vacation since we've been married. We have never spent time like this. It will be a nice change to the normal things we do when taking leave. Usually when in the states, we'd go visit family. Since we don't have the money to visit family, and it isn't a day drive there, we can be free to do other things.

Tonight is filled with updating things online and a movie. Seeing that it is 10 pm now, I better get on them. Funny how things seem to get more busy right when I want to relax.

Harsh Reality

2009-06-24T13:52:00.002+02:00

So I don't always like to put it all out there on here. I know that anyone can read it, and I worry what others will think of me. I have a hard time being okay with myself alone. I care too much about what others think of me. On those questionnaires where they ask if you care what others think of you, I usually reply with "too much." I shouldn't care, but I do. It is that struggle to fit in and be apart of a group that drives me. Going back to the first of the year and being honest, this is just one of those times. I am writing this in tears because of what is going on in my life at this time.

As most of you know, I struggle with major headache issues. I had a CT Scan done, and it came back clear. I have was then put on some medicine to help with the headaches and sleeping at night. The medicine the doctor gave me are an antidepressant. I am not depressed nor do I think I need to be on medicine for mood issues. It was explained to me by him, the pharmacists, and my mother (who is a nurse) that this specific medicine is also used to treat pain. I have been on antidepressants before, and it was bad. I was a raging lunatic when I was on them. I am sure that I burned some bridges, and I regret how I treated some of the people in my life while on them. I weaned myself off them at that point in time, and vowed never to take them again. However, with what is going on with my head, I made the choice to give in and take them.

I have been on them for a few weeks now. I am praying that how I feel will pass with time. I pray that it will pass quickly. I hate how I feel, and I hate that right now I am regretting my choice to go back on this type of drug. Because of the way I feel inside, it's effecting my family. I don't think they know it or the reasons right now. I know my husband has noticed the change.

I have found that I have become short with people. I cannot handle even small things that come my way. I find when the kids start to yell or get crazy, it sends me over the top. I can't handle the punches that come my way with the ease I use to. I just can't take things and run with them. I find that even small things make me upset, and I get really mad about them. I fear that I yell at the kids too much. I just can't even see how it comes to it. It is like I go from 1 to 100 in no time at all. A side effect? I don't know. I thought that these types of medicine were suppose to help with your mood.

Because of the way things have gone, I feel totally inadequate to care for my kids. I feel that my kids will not understand if I do get upset. It is not their fault that I am having mood issues. It is not their fault I just can't handle the same things I could before I started. I feel that I have failed because I'm on these types of medicines again. I know I didn't go on them for anything but pain, but it still bothers me. I feel I have let not only myself down, but my family too.

I am guessing as this medicine gets into my system more, things will calm down. I will give them another month to get use to them. If it still continues, I will have to find something else to help me out. I refuse to be like this for a long time. My friends and family do not deserve to have me this way. Please pray that life gets better for all of us.

I am at a very vulnerable place in my life right now. I don't even know why I'm being so honest on the internet of all places. What a place for people to pick me apart and judge how bad of a person and mom I am. I just hope that in my being honest it explains some things for those that are around me or talk to me a lot. I also hope that someone else out there knows what I'm talking about. I just crave to know that I'm not alone. I need to know that I'm not a bad person or mother. I am going to have to really work hard to prove these things to myself.

If you made it this far, thank you for listening to my issues.

Too Busy for...

2009-06-22T11:09:00.003+02:00

I hope this newest update finds everyone doing just fine. We have been going crazy and more crazy. :p Things have been very busy around our home, and I don't look for it to get better any time soon.

Genevieve has been in her part day preschool class for about 3 or 4 weeks now. She loves it! They do a theme a week, and they do so much to talk about it. She has now done the desert, caterpillars and butterflies, ants, and ladybugs. This week starts a new lesson on bumble bees. She really does have a great time, and she loves her teacher. We will see her teacher around some weekends. When Genevieve realizes who it is, she starts talking all over again about school and when she gets to go back.

Putting Genevieve in her school every day was suppose to give me some free time. It was suppose to make me feel like I can get stuff done. When she started I think 50 things all of a sudden came into play. It seems like I'm more busy now than before. However, I am glad that she is going because she loves it. I guess the few hours she goes every day just isn't enough :)

I have started reading Angels & Demons recently. I have been looking for it at the library for months now. I thought about buying when I was home visiting, but I just never did. I just have a hard time buying books for myself. Nine out of ten times I don't ever read my books more than once. Now that we are close to a library, I have started just doing that.

I love this library. They have a HUGE selection of books. There is a children's wing that has books for the little kids. I have taken the kids in and read to Genevieve while Samuel played in the stroller. They also have a big DVD selection. All their DVDs are donated, so they don't always have the best movies, but we have found some really good ones too. It saves a lot of money, and we can keep them a week.

Anyway, I had been looking at the library here for months for the book. It has always been checked out. I went in a couple of weeks ago looking for the book again, and I came up empty handed again. The Libraian asked what I was looking for. We had a short conversation about how it has been popular recently because of the movie coming out. She looked it up on the computer, and then put me on the wait list. I was worried it would take forever to get the book because I was 14th in line. She did tell me that they had a lot of copies of the book and not to get discouraged. Sure enough, about a week after I was put on the list, the book was sitting on the shelf waiting for me.

I haven't finished it yet, but I have enjoyed it so far. I liked the Da Vinci Code a lot. It was a good read. This one is the same way. I don't think it is really connected to the other book at all. It just uses the same main guy. It's like those Tom Clancy books. Jack Ryan I think is the main guy in those books. As it was explained to me (since I have only seen a couple of the movies) Jack is in a series, but they books aren't related to each other. One book doesn't take place before or after the other. I look forward to finishing the book to find out how this one ends. I am hoping it doesn't disappoint me. I'm sure it won't. Now I just have to carve out some time to get it finished.

Long Weekend

2009-06-17T21:36:00.002+02:00

This past weekend was a long one. It was long in many different ways. My husband had Monday and Tuesday off, so it was a long one that way. Second, we had a lot going on. Most of the time I hate weekends like that. I like to relax with my husband at home on the weekends. I like doing things at my own pace. I don't want to do something because I have to. It just isn't fun that way.

Saturday night there was the Signal Ball here on post. My husband had to go due to being an usher. I believe I told you how I came about going in my last post. So I won't go into that again. So in the middle of the night Friday into Saturday, I get sick. I haven't been that sick since I was pregnant with Genevieve. I finally got my stomach calmed down, and it was time to wake up. I hate when that happens. I always seem to be in the deepest part of my sleep right before I am suppose to get up or need to get up. I spent the morning on the sofa trying to recoup from the night before. It took just about all morning, but I finally started to perk back up, and I kept some food down.

The ball was nice. It was like every other ball I have been to. There is the awkward receiving lines. That time where you have to shake the hands of all the people who are important to your spouses job, and get asked how you are doing. They make small talk in a place where you really only have time for one word answers. It isn't like you can carry on a conversation or anything. After that you make your way to your seats. They do the color guard, and they sing the National Anthem (both American and German). Usually then the dinner follows, but our dinner wasn't ready Saturday night. Instead they moved right to the speaker for the evening. To our surprise it was the Commanding General of USAEUR. I teased that we saw everyone there that is on the AFN commercials.

Anyway, the food was pretty good. All the balls we have been to the food hasn't been great. I take that back. The Christmas Social here it was good. Here was pretty good too. There is a certain way they do salads here. They had that, and I love that salad. It is a lot of veggies and a very light dressing. I can't say enough good things about it. They had a really good fruit salad for dessert and cake. We left before the dancing because well...I don't dance. It started with the Electric Slide, into the Cha cha song, and when the Macareena (sp) started, it was time to go.

The long weekend finished off with an unproductive trip to Mannheim (the store we wanted to go to was closed), and some time as a family. That is one thing I have been very thankful for. I miss my family and friends. I miss being close to people and seeing some on a normal basis. I miss being within a days drive of family. However, I am happy to trade it to have our family back together. When we were in recruiting, we didn't get much time as a family. He was home late, and not a lot of time off. Here we have time together to do things and hang out. It has been a great change. I know it won't last forever, so I am living it up while I can.

Shew...Lots of Plans, So Little Time

2009-06-11T09:17:00.002+02:00

For over a month now we have known about an upcoming ball here on post. It is for the whole Signal Battalion here in Europe. Well, my husband got picked to be an usher, so he has to be there. Because he has to be there for the job, he got his ticket for free. He had asked me while I was home for a visit if I wanted to go. I said sure, found a dress to bring home, and that was that.

When I got home, I realized that the day the ball was, my friends were going to be back in the states for a visit. So I knew we didn't have a sitter for the kids. At that time we looked into childcare to see if they were going to offer that. At that point in time we were told no. So the plans were made. The kids and I would stay home, and my husband would go. We usually only stay for dinner and the program. We usually skip out on the DJ dance. We haven't been to the whole dance thing since our first ball back in Ft Riley. It didn't bother me. I have a new book to read, and I was going to get caught up on phone calls.

So fast forward to yesterday. All of a sudden they are offering childcare. It wasn't cheap, but it wasn't anything that'd break the bank. So my husband calls to see if I want to go. I told him I didn't know if I had a dress I could wear (that was clean), and a bunch of other things. He didn't even know for sure if he could still get me a ticket since they stopped selling them about 4 days ago. With that one phone call the race had begun.

I spent a good part of 2 hours getting plans together. I found out that it would cost just as much as the ticket we got for free to clean my dress. To get it back in time I had to do it express. I at least wasn't the only one up there. The Battalion Commander also had waited until the last min. to get his uniform cleaned too. So I didn't feel too bad about it. After I found out that I could get my dress done in time, I had to let my husband know that he could go ahead and get a couple of the slots for childcare. Then we had to take care of several other last second details. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Of course everything had to be planned and done yesterday. We had to have everything taken care of by close of the business day to be sure that we had everything in place for us and the kids. We did get it all done (proof you don't need a lot of time to go to a ball :p), and we are ready, minus my dress, for Saturday. I heard it is going to be a really nice ball. They aren't going to do a DJ, they are going to have a band come in and play. They are also going to have several performers come too. Lets hope the food is good, and we have a great time.

Quiet, School, and Prayer

2009-06-10T09:46:00.005+02:00

As I sit on the sofa typing this, all seems to be right in the world. I have some housework to get done before lunch, but I still have a couple of hours for that. Samuel and Genevieve are playing well together in the back room, and all I can hear in the living room is the hum of the air conditioner and the occasional jet flying over head. It is so rare I have moments like these. When I do I know why I wanted children. It's the other 99.9% of the time when things are crazy and loud I wonder. So I'm taking advantage of the .1% chance I get, and I'm blogging today.

I picked this picture to post because I love it. Samuel wanted to play dress up with his sister. Since we don't really have anything boyish, this had to work. My mom made this skirt for Genevieve while we were home. It was so she didn't have to take off her clothes to play dress up. However, it didn't work out that way. She still likes to take off her clothes, and she just wears it like a strapless dress. Samuel sure had a good time with it though. Shh don't tell Daddy he was wearing a dress and had a pink phone though :p

We just started week 3 of preschool for Genevieve. She is so adorable when we get ready to go. She asks all morning if she can see her friends or if she can go to school. I have to remind her that she goes in the afternoon, and I will take her after we drop Daddy off at work. Yesterday we drove up, and she saw the building (it has a blue roof so it is easy to pick out). The conversation then went as followed:

G: "Oh Mommy! Thank you so very very much!"
M: "For what baby?"
G: "For bringing me back to my friends."

She loves it so much. I can only hope that this love for school lasts all the way until she graduates high school. Every day she is eager to learn new things and be around others her age. She doesn't care if she has never been to the class or not. She is just ready to get in there and make friends.

My prayer for my children is that they always are this confident in themselves. Genevieve can walk into these situations and just start to play and have fun. I pray that both my kids can always feel as if they fit in, can have fun, etc. Of course as parents we always want our children to have better than we did. I am the same way. I want my children to have a better life than I did (not saying mine was bad at all...because it wasn't). I want them to not have to feel the hurts of life that I have had to. I know it isn't something that is logical to hope for, but there it is. I pray that whatever comes their way in life will bless them in some way or another. I pray that everything that graces their lives is for the good of God, and I pray they will see it that way. I pray that even in hardships they see how they can use those times in their life. Some of the times I remember being the darkest have colored my life so much. When all I saw was black and gray, God painted a rainbow. I can use those dark times in my life for good now. Am I glad they happened...heck no! But I am stronger now, and I can use them for good. That is my prayer for my children.

And just like that, the quiet is gone. I need to get some dishes done, and things picked up anyway. The story of my life :)

Who Knew Getting Lost Could be Fun?!

2009-06-04T10:19:00.002+02:00

So it's taken me a bit to get this up here, but I wanted to share this picture with you. I love this one. I think it is my favorite of all the pictures we took. This is the Heidelberg Castle from a look out point in the hills.

This past weekend my husband and I decided that we should drive around a bit. It was on Sunday so we knew the traffic would be a bit less (everything is closed on Sunday here). We just went up in the hills in town and started driving around them. We came across several look outs, but this one had the best view by far. You could see so much of the city and of the other hills. It was beautiful.

The week since has been full of school, appointments, and tests. Samuel had his follow up evaluation, and he is delayed enough for them to come to the home and do therapy with him. I also have had a CT Scan (came back normal) and a follow up appointment about my headaches. I got a new medicine to try, and we will see if that helps. Since I have them on a regular basis, the med is more for prevention instead of treatment. I start them tonight, so we will see how that goes. If it works, it will be the first time in man MANY years that I won't have a headache. I just didn't even do much about it or worry about treatments while I was pregnant or nursing. I mean what can they really give you anyway? The same thing for everything...Tylenol. :)

Genevieve has been settling in during this week of school. Her teacher told me yesterday that she is doing great, and she is really starting to settle in. I usually have to pry her off the playground if they are outside in the afternoons. She loves being with her friends and being in that setting. This week they are doing and learning around the book The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The first day of the week they talked about what they eat and all of that. They asked the kids what they would eat and put their answers in the hall. Most were the normal answers like leaves, watermelon, apples, candy, etc. When I got to Genevieve's name it said, "I eat Dora cereal." I about died when I read it. She doesn't normally get Dora cereal. She only gets it when she is at Mom and Dad's house. So why she thought of that, I'll never know. The things kids say.

Tomorrow my husband and I are going on a date night. I wish there were good movies showing, but there aren't. I think we are just going to check out a new place to eat and take in what we can.

I Know I Didn't Raise Him This Way

2009-05-28T10:31:00.002+02:00

I know that I did not raise Samuel this way :) He has been getting up at 5 or 5:30 every morning since we came back home. I cannot do anything to get him back to sleep. I have tried moving the bedtime back a bit more to see if that helps, and it doesn't. I'm at a loss. I really dread the mornings even more now. I wish I could find some way to make him sleep just a little later.

Other than that, things are going fine. I biked the kids to school yesterday, and we had a good time with that. Most of the moms walk their kids to school, but it is a bit too far I think for us. Most of them live pretty close. While we live fairly close, we'd still have to leave pretty early to get there and back.

The weather has cooled down for at least a few days. I hope that means our AC will stay caught up when it decides to warm up again. For the first time this morning, our living room/dining room was cooler than 75. That doesn't seem too bad for some, but when the sun is coming in and the concrete walls start to absorb that heat, it gets a little warm.

We are looking at planning a night/day out without the kids again soon. I have been thinking I want to do the Saturday this time. That will give us a lot of time to get downtown and see what is going on down there. We can also look in some of the shops we haven't been able to yet. There are a lot of neat places down there, and I want to get down and see what is going on. I wouldn't mind a currywerst either.

A Big First

2009-05-27T11:01:00.003+02:00

So yesterday was a big first in our house. Yesterday was Genevieve's first day of preschool! She goes in the afternoons every day of the week. I was only going to put her in 3 days a week at most, but when they told me the options that were open (2 day in the morning or 5 day in the afternoon), I just went for all week and didn't look back. She was excited to get to use her Dora "Packpack" for school. We usually use that one for travel because of the wheels. Her Auntie Sarah bought it for her right before we moved to Germany, and it has been so handy for travel. When I got the list saying she needed a backpack, we just thought we'd use this one instead of buying a new one. It works out well, and we already know she loves it.

When I dropped her off yesterday, you could tell she was thinking about having to do something new. She looked unsure, but that quickly changed as the teacher pulled out the activities for table time.

It was great getting time alone with Samuel while she was gone yesterday. I got some cleaning done, and I got to watch a show and was not interrupted. It seemed like the few hours went by so quickly though. A few is better than none though.

When I went to pick her up, she was a little sad. The teacher said she had done great. Come to find out, she had hit her head with the shaker in a song, and she was trying to tell me about that. At bed time my husband and I asked her what she learned at school. It was so cute to watch her try to act out all the animals they had learned about. She even tried to be a cactus.

I think she had a great time, and I can't wait for her to get into her routine and really enjoy it.

Appointments, Migraines, and Scans..Oh My!

2009-05-26T11:10:00.003+02:00

So what does one week off of blogging get me? Only about 4 migraines, a trip to the doctor, and a scheduled CT Scan. Sounds like a wonderful week. It has been full of many events despite my issues.

This week (on one of my better feeling days) we went over to Mannheim and bought a bike cart for our bikes. I really have been wanting to exercise more and get into shape. I guess I have made it to that time in life where I really am serious to make a lifestyle change. I want to get healthy, and I want to stay that way. I have always had issues with weight, and I'm ready to be done having issues. So we bought this bike cart for the bikes to help out. I decided that I would be the one to pull it most of the time because if my husband has the van at work, I can use it to get me and the kids around. This week was my test run.

We put it on the bike on Friday. My husband needed to go down and get his hair cut so I came up with the bright idea to take the bikes. As he got his hair cut we went all around post. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and it seemed to be something I could easily do on my own. It is going to be a good way to get Genevieve back and forth to school.

The rest of the week was spent cleaning up around the house, doing laundry, and trying to keep things as quiet as they could be with a 3 year old and a 17 month old. I guess this week was just pretty darn boring.

All Over The Place Tonight

2009-05-23T21:10:00.002+02:00

So the last week has been slow on the blogging front. The most time I spent at the computer this past week was just spent on checking my email and Facebook. I have had the worst headache this week. After about 5 days, I went into the doctor. I was given some meds to take, and they seem to help a little. It isn't as bad as it use to be.

Needless to say, these headaches have put a stop to my working out. I was working out one hour a day about every day or every other day. I had been doing good, and I was starting to feel like I wasn't dying every time I started to work out. Now it has almost been a week, and I am just dreading getting back into it. However, I think I will use this time to start something new. I never thought I would want to run out in public, but I think I might start. We also got a bike cart so I can go for a bike ride with the kids. I will probably do this most days. Genevieve starts school on Tuesday, and I am going to use that or walk her to school most days. That will help get me out and about more again.

While we were out today, I think we finally found a new dining room table and chairs. I had really fallen in love with a set, but I wasn't happy with the quality. The top was very nice, but the legs and base were not made of real wood. It looked like it would damage real easy. With us moving a lot, that isn't a good thing. However, when we were there today we found a really nice oak table and chairs. It was cheaper than the other table, and it looked like it held more people even. There is no telling if we are going to buy it or not, but it was nice to find something that I liked just as much and even more than that first table.

One more thing. I hate to admit when my husband is right, but I must. We don't have AC in our place over here. Before we left for the month, things were fine. We have fans in the rooms, and we could open the windows. Recently we noticed how warm it was getting in our place. Before the family upstairs moved, they sold us their portable AC units for a really good deal. We didn't realize how good of a deal until we noticed how much they were new or even used. I thought we were fine with just the fans, but he insisted that we bring them up. I told him he would have to find someone else (and he did...Thank you Travis) to bring them upstairs. We set them up, and he was right (don't tell him I said that)! The place does feel much better now.

So a pretty boring blog tonight, but there you have it :)

Da, Kah, 'ere we go, and Uh Oh

2009-05-15T14:07:00.002+02:00

All things that Samuel "said" today at his evaluation for his speech delay. It was an hour of a wonderful woman evaluating Samuel today. We have these Ages and Stages Questionnaires we fill out every time we go to the doctor for a well child exam. They just use that to make sure a child is where they should be. When we went in about 6 weeks ago, Samuel was very delayed on speech and gross motor skills. The lady was very in awe that he was delayed in gross motor. I told her at that time he had not started to walk yet, and things like that. She said from watching him today he has wonderful fine and gross motor skills.

She did say he was delayed in his speech. They are going to do an extensive evaluation in the next couple of weeks to see just how delayed he is. If it is a significant delay, they will give us the choice to sign him up for therapy in home or to give it more time. We will just have to wait and see.

Confessions of a Lazy Mom

2009-05-14T14:26:00.002+02:00

Do you ever have those days that you just don't feel like doing anything? I have them a lot. I don't know if it is because I have not got a full nights sleep in about 3 years, getting up early with the kids all the time, or just because I hate cleaning just about everything. If you read my blog at all, one thing you will know is that I can't stand laundry and dishes. They are NEVER done. It doesn't matter how much I work in a day, we are always using dishes to eat, drink, and cook with, and we all can't go naked for days at a time so there is no laundry to do. Wouldn't it be nice though?!

I have done a good share of housework today and over the past week. I have pretty much kept up with things since getting home from our trip to the states. However, as I type this I can't help but think how inadequate my work seems to be. I don't do all I could and can do. I just can't bring myself to clean all dang day. I can't.

I don't know if this friend reads my blog or not, but if you do, this is totally a compliment. I have a friend here who is super cleaner. She mops, sweeps, cleans, etc every day. She tells me that she has to run at least 3 loads of dishes a day, and she is always picking up everything all day long. She cooks from scratch most of the time, and she puts me to shame in both areas. I just can't be like that though.

Sometimes I find myself making things look better so it looks like I have done a lot. It usually doesn't fly all the time. However, on some days it does. I have learned that if I make the bed, it makes the bedroom look a lot better. I also have found that if I do the dishes and clean the sink and counters really good, the kitchen seems to look much better too. I tend to use my Roomba a lot. It is easy because I just push the button and it does the vacuuming for me. I would be in trouble without my Roomba. I also enlisted the help of my microfiber mop. You just put water on the pad and go. I don't have to get a big bucket and water ready. It also drys really quickly so I'm not having to worry about the kids going through the wet floors.

So there you have it. I am a lazy mom. I hate housework, I love nap time, and I can't wait for my one hour of peace when my husband comes home. I started to work out for an hour a day just to get some time alone. I don't like working out, but that hour is awesome. I will work out to get my hour. Sometimes I wonder if this makes me a bad mom. I wonder if I should love being with my kids all the time and taking care of everyone's needs. I couldn't imagine having a job outside the home. I love the flexibility of being here with the kids. I love having the mom and kid's groups I can attend. I love all these things. Some days I just long to go back to work just to get some time away.

I know most of this is because of recent events. My wonderful, calm son has turned into a yelling chimp. There are times he will just start to screem and cry for nothing. We are at that time too where he isn't talking so he gets frustrated with me (and I with him). He has started to pinch me and everyone else when he doen't know how to get what he wants/needs across. It has brought me to tears many times. I just don't understand his needs, and I can't fix it. Isn't that something that most moms have trouble dealing with? I sure hope so because it sure bothers me when I can't fix or give my child what they need. We have a screening tomorrow with a specialist tomorrow who is going to evaulate him for speech delay. He really isn't saying much, and I worry that he is delayed. It is a nice program that does everything in home. If he were to qualify for speech thearpy, they will come to our home and do it.

I don't know if this was confusing since I'm pretty much rambling. I have just been feeling bad about my mom skills recently. I feel like I'm not good enough, and I can't give my children what they need in the day. It's been a rollercoaster of feelings, and I hate that I feel this way. I guess I just needed to get it out, and I hope this makes me feel a bit better about things.

What Does 20 Nuggets, 1 Car Seat, and 2 Toddlers Get You?

2009-05-13T12:58:00.004+02:00

It gets you a relatively good (as good as 10 hours can be in a plane with two toddlers) plane trip home. As I sit typing this, I can't believe my month home has come and gone. It was a whirl wind trip back home (only planned about 3 weeks before we left), and it seemed like it went just as quick. Funny how time sometimes seems to go so quickly and other times it seems to go so slow.

After we made it in from our very LONG plane ride into Kansas, we settled in just fine. The kids did really good with the jet lag. We were all so tired from being up the whole trip, that we all just went to sleep and pretty much after the first night slept all night. We enjoyed Easter at home with Mom and Dad, and taking it easy watching movies.

That next week the kids and I spent time being home. We went to church on Wednesday, played outside, and just had fun at home. Right after that we went to my in-law's house. We stayed for a few days and made it back home in time for a Mother Daughter Banquet. It was a lot of fun. Genevieve had a good time, and it was nice to have both my Mom and my husband's Mom there.

Opahoma (Oklahoma) came next. We went down for the snake derby they have there every year. This event use to be for my Grams and her sisters to get together every year. They would all come in, and they would celebrate their birthdays and catch up. Later this time became a time for the sisters and the women of their families (daughters, daughter-in-laws) to get together as well. Even with Grams passing away, they still meet every year for this event.

It was a little bitter sweet to be down there again. I haven't been down there since we went to Grams' funeral. Since then all the houses have been sold. We drove by to see them, and they have really fixed them up. That was what kind of got to me. They look great, but it isn't Grams' home anymore. It's been 7 years (in October) since she passed away, and most days it seems like so much longer. On a few days it seems like it couldn't have been that long ago.

At first Genevieve didn't want to go to Opahoma (her word). I asked her why, and she said, "Momma, we can't go to Opahoma. They have snakes!" I made sure she stayed away from the snake cages at the derby so she wouldn't have to worry about Oklahoma and the snakes that are there.

In my last days home, I made a trip out to Hays to see my best friend from High School, Lacy. We met up there before our move, and I didn't know when I'd see her again. We coordinated one of her days off and made the trip there. It was a nice lunch with a walk around a few stores. The time went so fast, and it was hard to believe it was time to leave again.

Our trip back to Germany went pretty good. We flew in and out of Wichita. I asked the man at the counter for a Gate Pass so Dad could help me back to the gate. We hung out outside the security area until about 40 mins before the flight. We made it back to the gate just in time to board the plane. I was told later on the phone that as we were headed back, Samuel started to wave at Dad as we went down the hall to the plane.

When we made it to DFW, I was very happy to see that we did not need to change terminals. We just walked down the termial and found a McDonalds. I asked them to give me their biggest order of nuggest they had (20 pieces). We made it down to the USO, and we sat in the room long enough for me to call my husband and let him know we had made it okay, and that everything was still running on time. The lady at the USO gave us a couple of bottles of juice and water. We also picked up some snacks that were there before heading to the gate.

We weren't at the gate long before someone from the airline came over to see if we were flying to Frankfurt. She let me know they were going to board families with small children, and that I could go to the ticket counter now. We gathered up all our stuff and headed that way. A really nice German man helped me pick up the car seat with Samuel in it to get it down the isles. He placed it in the seat and made sure everything was fine before leaving to help with his own family. The kids took a nap long enough for me to eat dinner and have a little quiet before they were up and ready to go. After they were up, there were many people on the plane that helped me out. They would hold Samuel, play with Genevieve, watch them when either I or Genevieve had to use the bathroom, etc. Samuel really liked the male flight attendant, Eddie. Eddie would take Samuel around the airplane and let him "help" with things. Even though the kids got restless at the end of the flight, it was much better than the flight there. That many hours alone with the kids make for a long day.

It was great to get home, and we were all happy to see Daddy. We have all pretty much adjusted to the time change again. Now that I am home again I can start to blog a bit more again. :p

I Wish...

2009-04-14T15:27:00.002+02:00

My biggest wish in life at the moment is that I will NEVER have to have a repeat of the trip I just had with the kids. As I might have blogged before, the kids and I took advantage of my husband being at school to make a return trip home. I wanted to come see family, but for me it was also a way to show myself that I could make the over 5000 mile trip on my own.

I love to be able to travel. With my husband's schedule I usually take what I call "mini vacations" from the house. There are always times where he is gone for a week here, two weeks there, an occasional month, etc. When we were in the US, I'd just hop in the car and go. I'd drive anywhere and everywhere with the kids and we'd have a great time. Since we have moved, I now have to fly everywhere to visit family and friends.

I have flown with the kids alone, but never for more than a couple of hours at a time. We made the trip over, but my husband was with me. For awhile now I have feared the flight alone with my kids to come over. I hated feeling like that because I want to know that I can do it if I need to. I need to know that push come to shove I feel confident and comfortable taking the kids on the plane and taking care of things. That first trip just happened.

It was a horrible flight. Genevieve was at least very good for me. She was a little antsy at times, but who isn't on a flight that long. Samuel on the other hand cried, fussed, and pretty much anything for the whole 10 hour flight. I felt so bad for everyone around. I kept telling anyone who looked over that I was very sorry. Most people were understanding. I did hear one guy on a cell talking after the flight about how bad it was because some stupid kid was crying all the time. The people who were older or had kids kept telling me to hang in there. Most even shared their horror stories of their bad flights with their own kids. I couldn't do anything to calm him down. I tried anything I could think of. A couple of other people tried a few things too, and those didn't seem to do anything either. I have no idea what was wrong. The only thing I can think of is that he was way too tired. We had been up so early that day, and I think he was so tired he couldn't sleep. We were both in tears many times on the flight.

Our layover was very quick. When I booked the flight, I thought it was 2 hours. The day before I left I checked the stuff online only to realize that it was only 1 1/2 hours. We got through passport control, baggage claim, customs, baggage recheck, security, sky train, and to the gate just in time to check in. We were able to use the bathroom real quick and then get on the plane. Everything went fine with it, but I don't know if I want to only do 1 1/2 hours again. It'd probably be okay with my husband there to help out.

We've been here a few days, and we seem to be adjusting to the time change and everything. I am still close enough to that flight that I'm not looking forward to the flight home at all. I just need to have faith that not all flights are like my last. I guess it was a good test to know that even if things go really bad on the flight, I can still make it alone if I need to. I can't say I'd do this more than a time or two a year though.

No more Judy?

2009-04-08T09:57:00.002+02:00

So for a really long time every doll, barbie, little girl that Genevieve has had was called Judy. I don't really know what prompted it, but EVERYTHING was Judy. As you might remember from a post before, she even calls Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Judy. Well that trend has come to an end.

The other night I was tucking Genevieve into bed. She had her barbies lined up in bed with her. I asked her what their names were. I was laughing so hard I couldn't take it. I came out of the room and informed my husband that I thought that our daughter had strippers for barbies. The names of the barbies are now Dallas, Boris, and Kiss Kiss. Where she comes up with these things, I'll never know.

On Random Things...and Being Honest

2009-03-30T12:50:00.002+02:00

Well, this is my sad attempt at blogging and being honest with my not so vast blogging audience. However, I am going to work a few things in because I have so much going on. I feel really bad that I have not kept up on the blog for the first few months of the year. This year has been so crazy and gone so quickly. I can't believe that it is almost April.

April is going to be a "fun" month for me. I don't know what it is about the numbers 3 and 0 and them being put together. Something about the age 30 has me a little uneasy about my birthday. I am really sure it is because at some point in my life I thought that 30 was just REALLY old. My sister every year for the past 5 years has called and said It's your almost old birthday. Last year it was my I'm really darned close to old. Well, this is the year. I'm turning OLD.

Now that I am here, 30 is not old by any means. When thinking about my life (when I was younger) I thought I'd be doing different things in my life. I always knew that by this time in my life I'd probably be a mom. So the fact that I have two kids doesn't really phase me. However, I did always think that I'd still be working. I thought I'd have a career and love going to work and doing that sort of thing. I never in a million years thought I'd be a mom for my job.

Let me take this moment to say how blessed I am that I can be mom for my job. I know that there are many people in the world that would love to stay home with their children, but for one reason or another are not able to. I just feel like it is not looked at as an accomplishment or anything. I remember how I was almost embarrassed to tell people at my 10 year reunion that I was just mom. It was like I didn't have anything to show for myself for the past 10 years. I'm sure most of this just has to do with my insecurity.

All this said, I am embracing the new decade of my life. I am going to enter the 30s with as much love, joy, and enthusiasm that I can. I will live each day the best I can, and love where my life has taken me so far and the road I am on now. (The fact I noticed a couple of gray hairs on my husband's head help a little.) Here is to a great time in my life. A time where my kids will age past toddler, preschoolers, children, and even into the tweens. How scary is that?!

On to something else major in life. I'm finally doing it. I coming home to the states for a bit. It was kind of last notice, and it is coming quickly. It's coming a little TOO quick. I have no time to worry, plan, worry, over plan some more, worry, call someone to help me plan, and worry some more. Instead I will have to resort to a lot of worry and praying in the next week and a half. I have already started to outline the number of bags, car seats, etc that I will take. I'm trying to think through everything I can. I think if I plan for it in my head, I might feel more prepared if something like it did happen.

I found a flight that stopped over in Dallas. DFW is a big airport, but it isn't too bad. I have been there a few times, and for the most part I am comfortable with the airport. I am worried about customs between that flight and my connection. I have a couple of hours, but I just want to make sure that everything goes good. If not, I might be calling my cousin to see if I can crash on her sofa. At least I know that there we have family to help out if something happens and I need help.

The biggest worry I have is the fear I have had since moving here. Going home with the two kids alone. If anyone knows me really well they know I travel a lot. I am always getting in the car and going. I will go anywhere with the kids no matter what. I just jump in the car and head on. A plane though with the kids scares me. I am very self consious about how my kids act. I hate the idea that someone might think my kids are acting up. I always find myself telling people sorry for even stupid things. I hate that I feel I have to do that, but I don't want people to look at my kids like they are heathens either.

So you can see my delima now. I am traveling with the two kids alone on a plane. I don't mind the short trips. The long leg of this flight is around 9 hours though. That is a LONG time in a plane for an adult much less a child. When we flew over here, I was blessed to have my husband helping me. The kids did great, and they slept 80% of the time. This time I have no adult help. I wonder about stupid things like how am I going to go to the bathroom with the two of them in that little bathroom? It's something that is really stupid to worry about, but it is on my list.

As I told my mom on the phone last night, I just need to do it. Once I do it once, it won't seem as bad to do it again. I need to feel like I can do this no matter what. I need to get that one back. I also remember all the planning and such my cousin did for the trip here. We stayed up for a long time talking about what we were going to do, planning this and that. Everything went great when we got there. There was no need for all that planning. In my mind though if you don't plan, it will go wrong.

Anyway, if you would, please pray for us. Pray for the poor people on our flights. We will be leaving in just about 1 1/2 weeks. I can't wait to see family and friends again. I also can't wait to eat some things that aren't over here. It's sad how quickly you start to miss small things like that.

Coupon Queen? I Think Not!

2009-03-17T09:43:00.005+01:00

I have been blessed recently in the coupon world. A couple of people I know had some coupons that were about to expire. These women are obsessed with them (at least I think they are for how many I got). A real quick explanation on the coupon expiring thing. We can use them here at our store for 6 moths after they I asked a few people how they go about organizing these things, and all thing coupons. After all my questions and all the people, I came up with something I think will be easy, organized, and ready to go at all times.

Pretty much my method consists of putting coupons in baseball card holder sleeves. I put each coupon in a slot. If it is a different amount, then it goes in a new slot. It took a lot of work to get them all done, but they are now in their slots, and they are organized by isle in the store. It is very easy to see them all, and it is easy to see what I have.

Last night was my first run at the coupon game. I needed a lot of things for dinner. We didn't really have anything dinner wise at the house, and we usually only buy a few meals at a time. It means we are making more frequent trips to the store, but it also cuts down a lot on our waste. We know what meals we have ready to make, and we know what we need for each.

Anyway, I took off down the isles and searched for coupons of things I needed. I got a couple of looks from a guy, and finally he said while looking at my binder, "That's a REALLY big shopping list." I let him know what it was, and by the time I had explained that it was my coupons, he was calling his wife over to look. Another lady told me that I am the most organized person she knows. I laughed because I am very much NOT organized. I guess with a typed up grocery list and a binder of coupons, anyone can look organized :)

Now for the grand total saved. Keep in mind that we cannot double coupons, use two for the same item (unless they are running that deal), etc. So just with the coupons I used I saved 10 dollars. I came in very excited and told my husband what I had saved. He just looked at me and said, "Yeah, that's not a lot." I then told him because of the ten I saved, we had some extra money for our date night. If you applied that 10 dollars to the fee for our childcare, it only cost us 30 dollars for a full night of childcare for both children. I then went on to tell him it would buy a 12 pack of his favorite German beer. That got him :p So, I think with a few more coupons, perfecting my art, and some luck, I can save like a pro in no time!

I'm going to use now to shamelessly say if you have any coupons you don't use, are about to expire, or just don't want, please send them to me. We don't get much in the way of coupons over here, so my best luck is finding ones that people don't need. My new forming habit will thank you!

A page from my new coupon book

Bad Mom Day

2009-03-11T12:14:00.003+01:00

So yesterday was one of those days that I just felt like the worst mom in the world. Every now and then I think that I could have done something better or different, but not too many times do I feel like I just blew it. I know that most people have those days, and yesterday was mine.

It was a "normal" morning for us. We were up and moving around because I had taken my husband to work. I wanted the van, so we were up and about. We had taken him to work, grabbed a few things while we were out, and we had made it back home. I was thinking I'd be productive and do a few things around the house in the morning and get some extra stuff done. All of a sudden Samuel was screaming. He had hit his head.

I noticed right away that he had a nice sized bump on his head. It was already swollen and bruised. It looked awful. My first reaction was to rush in to the Urgent Care here on post and prepare to be there for a few hours while they checked him out. I took a deep breath, and I called the Nurse Advice Line. I really like that line because you can call 24 hours a day to ask them questions and get the advice of an RN. So I called there first. The lady that answered was great. She calmed me down and gave me a list of things to do with him. Best of all, it kept me from waiting for many hours at the Urgent Care. I will make my disclaimer now...If I would have for one second thought he was getting worse or needed to be taken in, I would have gone.

Last night was rough. I was still having to wake him every 4 hours to check on him. I didn't have to wake him up except the first time at night. After that, he was up anyway. It was a LONG night. Today it is every 6 hours. He is doing great, but I sure hope that sleeping goes much better tonight than last night. My hubby is joking that Samuel is just growing a horn.

On Disney Princesses and Judge Judy

2009-03-04T13:14:00.002+01:00

You might wonder from my title how these two things have anything in common. No one would even really think of putting the two together. Judge Judy doesn't look like a Disney Princess. She doesn't even look like a princess really. However, in our home the two go hand in hand.

A few weeks ago while my husband was away at school, I took the kids over to Mannheim. I wanted to go to the PX there to get a few things. It seems at times they have a better selection on some of the things I am looking for. They tend to have much more clothing choices, baby items, etc. Also their stores (electronics, house wears, and general items are all in different buildings here) are all together. It's a one stop shot.

Anyway, while we were there, Genevieve went nuts over a Disney Princess purse. I was going to get it for her, but when I looked at the price tag, I couldn't bring myself to paying 12 dollars for a purse. We were walking around though, and I found Princess panties. I picked them up, and she loves them. There is one pair that has a big picture of Belle, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. She loves that pair.

Once she was talking about her princess panties and this is how the conversation went.

G: Momma, I have princess panties. This is Cinderelly, who is this?

M: Belle

G: Oh Tinkerbelle! Who's this?

M: Sleeping Beauty

G: OHHH!! I have Tinkerbelle, Cinderelly, and Judge Judy on my panties!

Judge Judy as recently become Sleeping Judy. She might get it someday :p

Sad but NOT Discouraged

2009-02-26T23:46:00.002+01:00

After I didn't get a call for call backs or by bedtime tonight, I had realized that I probably didn't get a part in the Sound of Music. I had started to deal with it already, but I was still holding out a little bit of hope. I just got an email from the director that I did not get a part in the show. Even though I was expecting that, I still had a few tears in my eyes. It is very hard to hear that you aren't good enough. There were a lot of people that auditioned, and I did the very best I could. That is all I can ask for. For that, I have no regrets. I would have regretted it a lot if I hadn't gone in that night and at least tried. For the courage I had, I thank all my friends and family for encouraging me to give it a shot.

Like my title says, I am sad about this show, but I'm not discouraged. I have already (in the short amount of time since the email came) contacted the director back. I asked for feedback on how to improve my skills in auditions. I also then let him know that I actually do have a degree in the Tech area, and I would be more than happy to help out with the show that way. I know that once they get to know me and the way I work on shows, they will hopefully give me more than a glace at the next audition.

Anyway, I wanted to do a quick update for everyone who was wishing me well. I thank all of you. I know if it wouldn't have been for everyone encouraging me and sending all the good luck, I wouldn't have even got out of the van. I might not have even gone. It really was a big leap, and you all helped me take it. So, now it is off to bed, and I will wake up with a new outlook on what I will do for the show. The show will go on...I'll just help with the stuff that makes it look pretty. :)

How I Got My Groove Back

2009-02-23T22:08:00.004+01:00

So I haven't really got my groove back yet, but I'm working on it. For awhile now I have been sad with myself. I have no identity anymore other than my kid's mom and my husband's wife. I don't do much on my own, and I have felt recently that it has taken a toll on me. I don't feel as though I am my own person anymore, and I couldn't even tell you what I enjoy doing. It's sad really. I hate that I let myself get this way, but there it is.

Since we got here I have seen fliers around the post for a local theatre here. They have done some really cool shows, and I thought about getting in touch with them. However the reality of being a mom comes into play. When do I really have time to go to do things like that with two little kids. The past week or so I have seen fliers around saying they were having open auditions for Sound of Music. I told my hubby what I wouldn't give to do that. He told me right then and there I should go for it. I laughed and told him how. It got me thinking though, so I emailed the theatre and asked about rehearsal times etc.

Before I go on, I must comment on the love I have for this show. When I was young I'd go to my Grams' house for the summer. We'd always spend about 2 weeks there. One of the things we did EVERY time we were at Grams' house was to watch the Sound of Music. We watched that tape so much we even knew the commercials that they accidently recorded. I can still see a few of them in my head. My cousins and I would then go about acting the whole show. It was probably a site to see the whole show put on by 4 kids. We'd break it up and we'd do a rolling go at it when it came time to introduce the children. Needless to say this show is a big part of my life.

Back to the email. The director sent me an email back saying they usually did rehearsals from 7 to 10 pm. You don't know how perfect this is! My kids usually go to bed about 7, so if nothing is going on, my husband is around and can put them to bed. There isn't much time between when I'd leave and when they'd go to bed, so I don't feel guilty about leaving them alone to go do this. I made up my mind after our dinner date to go for it. I was scared to death, but I decided to do it anyway.

Fast foward to tonight. Tonight was the night. I left a little early so I knew I'd be on time. I sat in the van waiting until closer to time to walk in. As I sat there I worried about going. I haven't been on stage for a long time. I am more of a Techie anyway, so I'm usually behind the scenes. I almost had myself talked into driving off. I then told myself that there were so many people that had offered me support, and that I needed to get out of the van right now. I put on my lipstick and headed out. I was scared to death. I went in and signed in.

The audition itself didn't go too bad. I can only do my best, and that is what I did. I was very pleased with how the song came out. If I don't get a part, I would be a little sad, but it won't be the end of the world. What I got out of tonight is much better than a part in the show. I got a part of myself back. For the hour I was there (I had to wait for my name to be called, and I saw a couple other auditions before leaving), I was me again. I was not a mom or a wife. I was just Emily. I had fun, and I am so happy I did it. I can't wait to try again. If I don't get a part, I am going to ask to work with the tech stuff. That will be just as fun. I'm just glad to have hit the bottom and be on the way back up.

I will know by the end of the week if I get a part or not. Good or no part (I would say bad, but there isn't really a bad here), I'll keep you updated. Either way tonight gave me something I've been missing for a long time. That's all I really wanted anyway.

Being Honest...

2009-02-17T21:41:00.002+01:00

I guess since the month is winding down and I have not done this post yet, I should get to it. Wouldn't it be horrible if I failed my resolution after only one go at it :p I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to be honest about this month, but here it goes. I'm going to talk about my "love" of fear and the unknown.

Even the people closest to me might not know about this. It tends to surface at weird times in my life, and I never seem to talk about it. I really hate for people to know that I struggle with the fear of the unknown and that I worry a LOT. Usually I can keep it under control. It isn't always the first thing on my mind. However, when it shows its ugly head, it is there for awhile. I usually think about whatever it is for several days...all day. It will even wake me at night.

Now before I go on, I do know that this is not healthy. I often wonder if I would stop if some of my health issues would go away. I tend to clinch my teeth a lot, and I get a lot of headaches from this. I am convinced that my clinching has to do with being worried all the time.

I was doing a Bible study a couple of years ago, and it talked about how it showed a lack of faith to worry all the time. This really bothers me. Not so much what it is saying because I can see that. It bothers me because I'd like to think that I had enough faith. This shows I don't. The fact that I worry so much makes me wonder just how much faith I do have. I'd like to think enough, but clearly I'm lacking.

It makes me really sad to type that out. How do you even go about working on something like that? There are some things in my life that I honestly just don't worry about. One of those is where we live/move. I have always felt that we'd be in the right place at the right time. This proved true so many times. Sometimes it took a bit to see the good or the reason behind it all, but it always came about.

Well, I could go on and on about it all, but I am not. I am going to try and turn over a new leaf and stop it :p I know that is not possible, but I will give it a go. I'm going to try and quit worrying about things that are not in my control, and I'm going to try and fix things that are. If I spent all the time fixing or making things better that I do worrying, I'd have the whole thing fixed...right? Humor me :)

Executive Chef...My Husband

2009-02-14T22:28:00.002+01:00

Last week I got a very big surprise. My husband came in one day for lunch and said, "I think I want to start cooking dinner." All I asked was why. He then let me know that he kind of missed it, and he'd like to cook some. I didn't have to hear anymore, and I handed over the duty to him. We went through a Rachel Ray cookbook and came up with a few menu ideas.

I have to say that the meals have been amazing! The first night he made Rosemary and Garlic Chicken with Lemon Butter Broccoli. The next night it was a steak dish with some awesome BLT (Bacon, Leeks, and Tomatoes) smashed potatoes. Tonight we had a really great stoup.

I am so very thankful that he has taken this on. I have begun to not care for cooking because I feel like I have run out of ideas. Now I don't even have to think about it. He comes in and takes care of it all. It wasn't intended as a gift or anything, but I will take it as one :)

Holy Wind

2009-02-10T23:59:00.002+01:00

So the last few days I've been able to sit down about 1pm and just watch a little TV. I have enjoyed the down time, and it gives me a chance to watch a little news from the US. I commented in a survey in Facebook that even though I know that everything going on in the US effects us still, being over here it doesn't seem like it. I know we live overseas, but I don't really feel like we are doing anything different. It seems so much like "home" here, that I don't really feel any of the things that I might if we were in the states. I see all the struggles with jobs, money, banks, and I just don't feel any of it. I am very lucky that my husband has a job that for now is secure. We don't see them downsizing any time soon, and he's contracted for almost 4 more years. I thank God every day that we are in the place we are and are doing fine.

Anyway, where this is going is that I have been trying to watch more news thinking that will really help bring me home. Good Morning America is on at that hour, so that is usually what I watch. We don't have much of a selection here as far as different news programs and such. It's either what they have on or nothing. One of the things I like about GMA is that they show the weather a LOT. When everyone else is watching their local weather, they just show a map of the US with the highs for the day there. I have noticed how warm it is there recently. I couldn't believe it when today it showed that in Kansas, there was a high of 70?! I was just talking with a friend in Oklahoma who is having some really sever weather. Really?! Tornadoes in Feb? That's crazy. It was warmer in Kansas today than it was in Phenoix.

I just wish we could have some of that. You may have seen in the news there (I am not sure if they showed it or not) that a week ago or so there were some really high winds in Spain and France. They were said to be over 100 mph gusts. There was a school in Spain that the roof fell in, and it killed some children. In France, it turned over several trucks on the road. Today was our day. The wind was really bad here. We usually never have wind, so it was a shocker. I haven't heard of anything going on because of it, so that is good.

Here's hoping that tomorrow will be warmer and without wind. I know we are suppose to get rain, but that doesn't really bother me too much.

Sorry

2009-02-09T20:48:00.004+01:00

So I realize I have been MIA for a long time. It has been crazy around here. My husband just got home from "Army School" (as Genevieve called it) after being gone for a month. During that month I was so tired from being a single parent, that I just didn't have much left to blog at the end of the night. Now that he's home, I seem to feel like I'm resting better. I go to bed much earlier too. :)

I finally got my Wii Fit. I couldn't find one here to save my life. It seemed like if I'd go in, the last one was on its way out at that time. Then they can't ever tell you when they will get them back because they honestly don't know (gotta love AAFES). I decided a few weeks ago to try and pre-order one online from Game Stop. I signed up only a day before the shipment was due to arrive, and it was on a first come first serve basis. I knew I wouldn't get it. I figured I'd try though. After a couple of days, they posted a new date. I decided to leave my name on the list and see if I were lucky this time. SCORE! I was notified that I had one being shipped to me.

I wasn't expecting it until next week actually. Sometimes the mail is slow here, and it takes extra time if you don't ship priority. I didn't know how they shipped it, so I was expecting the worst. To my surprise the Power Zone had them in stock. I didn't actually go in and see them, but I saw a lady walking out with one. I was so mad. I knew something like that would happen. The next day I was out with a friend for lunch, and we decided to head over and see if she could get one. No dice.

On Friday I had to go check the mail. I hadn't checked it for a week (we don't get much, so we don't have to check it every day). I dropped my hubby off at the door and the kids and I went around the parking lot until he came out. I was so excited to see that my box had arrived! We came home, set it up, and waited for the kids to go to bed.

I have to say this thing is a lot of fun. I have played it a bit now, and I really have liked everything so far. I totally need to do some other things, but I'm glad we got it, and I am glad it is so much fun. My husband laughs at me when I do the step game. He says I have not rhythm, and I'm funny to watch. I really like doing the hula hoop game, but my knees pop as I'm twirling the hoops, and he thinks it sounds painful. Today Genevieve and I went on the short two player run. I was surprised that she actually got the concept and did pretty good at keeping up.

So my review of the Wii Fit...4 stars! I'd give it 5, but the weight feature is broken. It says I'm not loosing weight :p If you have a Wii and you can find the Wii Fit, you should try it out. It is a lot of fun.

200?!

2009-01-31T22:13:00.002+01:00

So everyone get ready to do a happy dance. This is my 200th blog post! *imagine confetti and sparklers and all that fun stuff now* In some ways I can't believe that I have 200 posts already, and in some ways it seems like I have been at this FOREVER. Now that we have that out of our systems, we can go about our regular blogging for the day.

Life today was pretty boring. Samuel seems to have a runny nose, and I think he might be coming down with what Genevieve and I had last week. I know for me, it wasn't fun. So I tried to keep things low key. That worked for the two of us, but Genevieve had other plans. She was crazy all day. We did survive the day though, and I'm happy to report they are both in bed asleep now. *knock on wood*

I have this tooth that is killing me. I know it isn't the tooth itself because I had a root canal done on it, and it is capped. It's under the surface, like down in the roots. The only thing I can think of is that something is wrong with it. I wear a night guard at night, and I wonder (it doesn't fit as well as it use to) if it is messing up the tooth or making things shift. The other thing I wonder is if it is due to me clinching my teeth at night. Either one makes sense to me. I guess I'm going to have to figure out when I can get in down here. I absolutely hate going to the dentist. I however know the consequences of waiting too long to go, and have learned my lesson.

See nothing too exciting! I think tomorrow I might try and hit up a store in town. Wait! Never mind. It is Sunday and stores here are closed on Sunday. That is one thing that is still hard to get use to. The kids and I will probably just take it easy again. Who knows. I guess it's anyone's guess.

I'm Gonna Get in Trouble!

2009-01-30T00:12:00.002+01:00

So I don't always, nor usually, write about deals, websites, and things of that nature. However, two deals were brought to my attention today, and I have to be honest and say I bought more than a few things.

The Children's Place has a code (SA19) that gets you an extra 15% off. I bought some leggings, a hoodie, 3 long sleeved shirts, and a pair of fleece pants for under 25 bucks including shipping. It was a great deal in my eyes. They had a lot more stuff that I really liked, but they didn't have the sizes I needed. I tried to get things I knew I could use for awhile after winter was over.

Old Navy is also having a sale with a code to enter (HALFOFF). This will get you 50% off of the clearance price. It does not work for things that are just on sale or regular priced items though. Here I bought 3 long sleeved shirts, a pull over fleece, polo shirt, and a short sleeved shirt for under 26 dollars with shipping.

I now need to stop looking for deals because I have spent enough money for tonight. I hope you can find something you might like :) I hope I don't get you into trouble. Happy shopping!

What's So Scary About Army School?

2009-01-26T14:28:00.003+01:00

Yesterday the kids and I took off and headed to my husband's "Army School." Genevieve asks me about a hundred times a day where her Daddy is. I know how much Genevieve likes school so I told her that day was off playing at Army School. Yesterday there was a Family Day, and we decided to attend. It was about a 3 hour one way drive, but it was really nice to go see him.

We started the day off real early (well early for us). It seems really early around here because the sun doesn't even come up until 8:30. We were up, out the door, and on the road by 7:30. We headed down the road, and the kids took a nice nap. I totally enjoyed driving (although it would have been much nicer to ride so I could totally take it in) and watching the countryside. The little towns on the hill sides were amazing. All the houses were set up in the hills and the land as it was formed. Just seeing them set up was so pretty. I would have loved to see them with all the trees and greenery in bloom.

We had a great day with my husband. We didn't do a whole lot. He wasn't allowed to leave the compound the school was at. We played in his room, watched part of a movie, and just hung out around each other. The kids enjoyed playing at his desk and on the floor of his room. We took him goodies, and Samuel got to show off some new tricks. When it was time to leave, Genevieve said, "I don't want Daddy to stay at Army School. He needs to come home."

The trip home was long. It was very dark, so there wasn't much to look at. What made it the worst was the long day. I was so tired and looking into nothing made it hard. The GPS would say, "Follow the road for 53 km." I just kept thinking...I don't want to! The other thing that was crazy was how fast these people drive here. I was going 120 km/h (about 80 mph) and people would pass me like I was sitting still. They would come out of no where in the middle of the night. One second I'd look in the mirror and no one was around. The next someone would be flashing me to hurry around the car I was passing. It's nuts!

On a good note...I did dive the whole way there and back alone. I would still be nervous about driving other places, but my GPS did gain more trust :p We made it in one piece, and we are still tired. Maybe it won't be too much longer before we head out again and find something new.

All You Need is Love

2009-01-22T22:26:00.004+01:00

So I have been burning the midnight oil most nights this week, and I still hadn't had any inspiration for my blog. I have been in a bit of a rut. I am going to blame part of it on the little sleep I have had. I am going to blame the other part on being sick. Then I will tell you that if those things weren't an issue, I still would probably be in a rut. Maybe it is time to find a list of things that might be fun to blog about :p Needless to say, it's been slow going not only in my personal life and on my blog. However, I did find a little inspiration in the last couple of days.

As everyone in the world knows, the US has a new president. I have heard so many people talk about why they really like this guy and why they really don't like this guy. As I have watched the event unfold over the last few days, I have felt myself very hopeful about life as I know it. I find it amazing that our country has come so far. I find myself full of hope that if this man can become the President of the United States, my children can do whatever they set their minds to. It all of a sudden has hit home that it doesn't really matter where you come from and where you are. You can make a difference in the world, and there IS hope for the world. How amazing was it that you saw not only an African American running, but also you saw a woman running for both offices (president and vice president). However, I am getting off on my whole point of what I was going to blog about. Funny hu?

The thing I noticed the most was the love of the new First Family. Did you see the way this family acted around one another? You can just see the love. I loved watching the kids interact with their parents. I see my kids doing some of the same things as they grow up, and it is just so nice to see the normalcy of their family. Maybe it is seeing that with their family that makes me think they understand more what it is like to have a family with young kids. They are there now. They are doing it now. I don't know though. I just love seeing families like that though.

The thing that struck me the most was seeing how much Barack and Michelle loved each other in that day. You can just see the love they have for each other when they are around. It has been awhile (or I just haven't noticed) since I have seen a president really show affection the way he does. They way they play around with each other. I saw a clip (because we are in another time zone, and I didn't watch it all the first go around) of the two of them dancing around listening to the music in the parade. You saw how they talked, danced, and were with each other all day.

Making a long story short, I just hope that in another 10 years, my husband and I still have fun and show love the way you see them doing it. I hope that people can look at us and see the love and pride we have for one another. To me it is a wonderful goal to aspire to.

You Know You're a Militay Wife If...

2009-01-18T23:22:00.002+01:00

I found this on a website I frequent, and I thought it was funny. Although some of these things I can't relate to (mainly the places they talk about), a lot of things stand true. I found it amazing how many things I saw on there that I was shaking my head at. Have fun reading, and enjoying my pathetic attempt at blogging tonight. The kids have me worn out (it was a LONG night last night), and it hurts to think :p

You are a military wife if...
..you can unpack a house and have everything in place in 48 hours
..you string concertina wire to keep the neighbor's kids out of your flower beds
..your husband's work and dress clothes cost more than yours do
..you've changed more oil and mowed more lawns than your husband because he's never there to do it himself
..you use a crook-neck flashlight with a red lens during power outages because it's the only one you can ever find in the house
..your children say "hoo ah" or "roger that" instead of "ok"
..you know that it's normal to light shoe polish on fire and that the best way to spit-shine boots is with cotton balls
..your husband does a route recon and takes a GPS for a trip to the mall
..you only write in pencil because EVERYTHING is subject to change
..you need a translator to talk to your civilian friends, only because they have no idea what DFAS, AER, TDY, ACS, NPD,
PCS, and ETS mean
..you have a larger selection of curtains than Wal-Mart does
..you can remember where you kept the Scotch tape in your last house, but unfortunately, not in this one
..you mark time in duty stations, not years
..you refer to friends not only by name but by the state that they live in
..you know that "back home" doesn't mean at the house you live in now
..you tear up when you hear "Proud to Be An American," even though you've heard it 50 times by now
..you know that a 2 month separation IS short, no matter what your civilian friends say
..you ALWAYS know when payday is and get ticked off if there are more than 2 weekends during that pay period
..you know better than to go to the PX or commissary between 11:30 and 1:30 unless it's a life or death emergency
..you show your military ID to the greeter at Wal-Mart
..you know that any reference to "sand" or a "box" describes NTC at Ft. Irwin, not your kid's backyard toys
..you know that "Ft. Puke" is a completely accurate description of Ft. Polk
..you find yourself explaining your husband's LES to him
..you have enough camouflage in your house to wallpaper the White House
..you don't have to think about what time 21:30 is
..you've ever been referred to as "Household 6"
..you're the TC, not a backseat driver
..you start ripping open MREs and looking for the M&Ms when you run out of Halloween candy
..you can't remember the last time you saw a doctor who wasn't wearing BDUs
..you've ever had a pet named Scout, Ranger or Sergeant
..the local dry cleaner knows you by your first name
..it only cost you $25 to have a child
..you find that a large number of your clothes and household items are olive drab or loam, even though you never planned it
that way
..you pick apart uniforms on TV and in the movies, even though you used to yell at your husband for doing the same thing
..you know what "pogey bait" is and which kinds everyone in your husband's platoon prefers
..you wish you could go to CIF to DX your old stuff like your husband can
..you've learned to sleep through the sounds of tanks, planes, helicopters and artillery simulators
..you give your kids a hand receipt when they take your Tupperware to school
..you can hate military life but be terrified to leave it all in the same breath
..you defend your lifestyle no matter how bad things get because you know there's no other life for you!

They Come That Big?

2009-01-14T20:16:00.004+01:00

So, the picture isn't the greatest, but I think you can see what I'm talking about. Look at how big these snow flakes are! It was a weird day of weather today. (My husband is going to laugh hard when he realizes my blog is about weather :p)

The snow started this morning about 11. At that time it was like little icy pellets. They weren't very hard, but they were more solid than snow. I dropped Genevieve off at the CDC, and went about the day. I had several things to get done and buy while I only had one child. It was the same the whole morning we were out.

After we made it home, the snow seemed to change. It got really fluffy and big. It was so pretty. It seemed to cover the ground really fast too. I don't really like snow, but I would even venture to say that this was nice to watch. Too bad I don't have a fireplace.

Lack of People and Lack of Sleep

2009-01-11T19:18:00.002+01:00

I realize I haven't been keeping up with my blog as much as I'd like recently. I don't usually have something set to blog about, I just come up with my thoughts for the day. It seems like the last week as pretty much been the same. It is very boring around here, and I'm totally exhausted. Before anyone asks, I am NOT pregnant. I don't know how many times I have been asked that in the last week. :p

It has been a week of adjustments. We went from a house full of people (4 adults and 2 kids) to an empty house. My in-laws left and my husband left all on the same day. I dropped my husband off right before I took my in-laws to the airport. The day was really full and busy. We spent just about all of that day on the road and running around taking care of things. The other events for the week included lots of errands, Genevieve going to school one day, and MOPS.

It is amazing how empty everything feels. I have found myself getting really tired. I don't really sleep well when my husband is gone anyway. The last few nights I have been up late, and I have been woke up early. I'm also trying to wean Samuel and get him to sleep through the night. So I haven't been getting the most sleep. Hopefully he will catch on soon, and I'll be sleeping good.

Other than that, life has been just going on. I told you I was boring :p I hope that everyone is having a great weekend, and I hope your week is great. Please get some of the sleep I can't seem to get :)

2 Kids, 25 Degrees, and a Fire Truck

2009-01-08T23:47:00.002+01:00

Today has been a very busy day. Genevieve went to school, and I was looking forward to relaxing a little. Well, that didn't happen. I suddenly had about 50 things to do, and it was just easier to do them while she was there so I was only dealing with one child. It's funny how when you only have one child you live for those moments when you can do something alone. However, when you have two children, your day is made when you only have to deal with one of them. That was today. Needless to say, I was looking forward to bedtime tonight.

Tonight is a night where I am the sole parent. My husband is off at "Army School" (as Genevieve calls it), so it was nice and relaxed...for a bit. I spent the evening getting the kids fed, giving baths, putting PJs on, and then tucking in kids. Samuel went down very easy. Genevieve not so much. She had finally gone to sleep, and I had eaten dinner. I had just got really comfy on the sofa when the excitement began. The fire alarm for the building went off.

I hauled through the house to get a coat for me. I got my coat on, and I got Genevieve up and her snow boots on. I got her wrapped up in her fuzzy blanket and told her to go to the door. I ran into Samuel's room, and I wrapped him up in a blanket too. I grabbed the phones (home and cell), the van keys, and we headed out the door.

The cold hit us like walking into one of those meat freezers. It was so cold. I quickly got Genevieve into the front seat of the van, and Samuel and I headed to the driver's side. I started the van and prayed for it to warm up quickly. There is a law here in Germany that you can't let your car idle for long periods of time. If you do, you could actually get a ticket. I didn't really care though. We were freezing as it was.

It took 20 mins for the fire department and the MPs to show up. I think that is pretty poor myself. If there had been something wrong, I think the building would have been gone :p At least we got back in and the kids went back to bed. There was a bit of fussing and crying, but for all that excitment, it didn't bother me too much. Needless to say, I hope that doesn't happen again without my husband here.

That Whole New Year Thing...

2009-01-07T20:38:00.003+01:00

So I guess it's that time to say you really want to do something and see if you can keep up with it. Usually I resolve not to have any resolutions. That way I'm not disappointed in myself when I can't keep the extreme things I say I want to do. I should just set my goals to be a bit more realistic, but those kinds of resolutions are cool to tell people. I mean it isn't too impressive to tell people you just want to get up everyday or be able to sleep all night. So that's why I will just make my resolutions very boring this year. I think I'm going to open up more. I think that no matter what people think of me, I'm going to let you all in on a piece of me that isn't always shown. I have had some things happen in my life that have made it so I keep certain things guarded. I hate feeling vulnerable (I know most people do), and I tend to guard myself. Because of my past, I really care what others think about me. I shouldn't, but I do. I hate it if others think I'm a bad mom, wife, or person in any way. It really plays on my self esteem, and even though I may sound and act like it's in great shape, it isn't really. So tonight I will start. I will do one major post a month about something new. Something very honest, and I will pray that people won't tear me apart. :p

So here it goes. Tonight's topic...I guess tonight I will talk about my insane fear of the way I die. I have a huge fear that I will die in one of two ways. I will either drown or I will die in a fire. I will say that I do not sit around obsessing about it, and I don't let it get in my way usually. I do enjoy swimming, fishing, boating, camp fires, BBQ, and candles. I can function around all of those things. Somehow though it is in the back of my mind. It will make its way out of the back every now and then and hit me in some way.

I was talking with my husband last night about flying. I took his parents back to the airport to fly home yesterday. His mom was really nervous. I get VERY nervous when I fly. My stomach gets in knots, and I almost feel sick. It is really bad at take off and landing. Sometimes I find myself with white knuckles until we are safe at cruising altitude. It starts all over once we start to descend. My husband was asking why I was so nervous. I can't pin point it to any one thing. I haven't ever really had a bad experience. I have been in a few bumpy flights but nothing major. The only thing I can even remotely pin point it to was the crash of TWA flight 800. Being in a plane crash such as that one would be one of my worst fears come true. I would probably either die in the fires that overtook the plane, or I would die in the water that it landed in.

I had a dream several months ago that shook me hard. It was one of those dreams that was so real you "felt" it. When I was little I always had really vivid dreams. I could remember them really well, and I could feel thing that were going on. It was like I was right there. I could see, smell, touch, and all those sorts of things. It was like I was right there. I never really said a lot about them because I was sure no one would believe how vivid my dreams were. One summer while staying at my Grams' house, I had one. I couldn't shake it, and I had to tell her about it. I told her to please keep an open mind because I was worried that she wouldn't believe me. When I finished she said the same thing happened to her (vivid dreams). Anyway, this was one of those dreams.

It started out normal. I was just in town walking around. I had a conversation with a friend, and I told them about what was going on in life. I had to get to the school for the book fair before it closed (don't ask me why a book fair). I left my friend and went on to the school. Once at the school I got side tracked, and I wound up in a different area. There were a lot of people there, and I'm not quite sure why. A man came in the room, and he was talking about how he didn't fit in. He was talking about how no one gave him the time of day, and did we know how that felt. A he was doing so, I noticed he was messing with something. He went over to the door, and he made sure it was locked and chained up so no one could get out. All of a sudden he had one of those flame throwers (I didn't say they were logical :p), and he started to use it. I could feel the smoke filling my lungs. I could feel the heat on my skin. I could feel the burn. I woke up in a fright, and it took me awhile to calm down. I don't think I slept really the rest of the night.

I could go on and on about my fear of dying by fire or water. That is just one example. I have several like that. Instead I will leave it at the one. It's a horrible fear, and I pray that I never have to live it. I am truly sorry for those who have.

So there you have it. That's my juicy tidbit for this month. You'll have to keep coming back to hear about my life and all that. I'll try and come up with a good one for next month. I tried to do a poll, but it didn't work. So just throw some things in the comments, and I will pick one. If you don't, you are subject to my ramblings.